Monday, 29 April 2019

Time for Poetry


ODE TO PAINFUL LOVE

Let not our love

Slip through our fingers

You bit my bum

And the pain lingers

I screamed and cried

Like tenor singers … … …



“You ain't nothin' but a hound dog

Biting all the time

You ain't nothin' but a hound dog

Biting all the time

Well, you bit my behind hard and you ain't no friend of mine.”

ODE TO JOY 

Fried fish wrapped in bacon

Served cold with boiled rice

Raspberry sauce and chocolate

Make up gourmets’ delight



A constipated owl

Hooting whilst he roams

Bearing the pain bravely

Of irritable owl syndrome



Then I composed a song

But forgot all the words

I focussed on the music

And then lost all the chords



I close my eyes and think of you

Spaghetti served with cheese

Caressing all my senses

Like a sweet summer’s breeze



The poor owl is still hooting

In the recesses of my mind

Just hand me some more bacon

But cut away the rind



Forsooth sayth the soothsayer

As he shaves another layer

Of crab cake with maple syrup

To the owl wrapped in gauze



If all that doesn’t clear you

Then nothing for ever will

He sayth to the happy owl

Who’s now no longer ill.



Moral: Don’t have cheese and port before bedtime. 


THE BRIDGE

She stood on the bridge at midnight
Her heart was all a quiver
She gave a little cough
And her wig fell down the river


THE OWL


There once was a wise old owl
Who just refused to fly
Claiming flying hazards
Made it unsafe so he could die.

He thought that wind turbines
Going round and round and round
Upset his delicate hearing
With their unheard kind of sound.

The bright lights in the city
The towns and the countryside
Shone brightly both day and night
Upsetting his big bright eyes.

The smoke from every chimney
And the fumes from every car
Polluting his every senses
As he flew both near and far.

So this learned wise old owl
Walked on foot just everywhere
Avoiding all flying hazards 
And got run over by a bus.

COLOURS

Rose's are red
Violet's are blue
Enid's are green
And Sophie's are pink with white dots

(I've seen them on the washing line)

18 comments:

  1. Okay, okay... I'm still giggling at your poetry, Victor!! Enough, please!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Better than Shakespeare, don't you think?

      God bless you, Terri.

      Delete
  2. Irritable owl syndrome? That's rich!

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    Replies
    1. Yes Mevely. You should have heard his hooting!

      God bless you.

      Delete
  3. I'm still laughing! Thanks for this collection of highly amusing poems, Victor.
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words, Martha. God bless you, my friend.

      Delete
  4. Keep it up Victor and you can become a poet laureate. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your confidence in me, Bill. Poetry does not come easy to me. It can take me up to 14 minutes to write a poem.

      God bless you, Bill.

      Delete
  5. Thanks once again for the laughs.
    The raspberry and chocolate sure sounds good to me!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hate that irritable owl syndrome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why do they always hoot at night instead of going to bed like the rest of society?

      God bless, JoeH.

      Delete
  7. Great way to start the week! Thanks, Victor :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wishing you all the best, Have a Great Week!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lol! Irritable owl syndrome!
    Hope your week is going well Victor.

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Jan. Wishing you well for this week and beyond.

      God bless.

      Delete

I PRAY FOR ALL WHO COMMENT HERE.

God bless you.

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