Saturday 23 May 2020

Guinea Pig Story

Man enters pet shop and looks around. Shop assistant approaches him.

Man: I would like to buy this Guinea pig please?

Shop Assistant: Certainly sir, let me get him for you.

Assistant picks up Guinea pig and puts him in a small box with holes on cover for it to breathe. Buyer looks at animal which instantly rolls over with feet pointing upwards.

Man: Hey ... this Guinea pig is dead. He is as stiff as a board. Look how he rolled over.

Shop Assistant: He is not dead, sir. He is hibernating.

Man: Hibernating? It is the middle of June!

Shop Assistant: Yes sir, he is from South America. They hibernate in summer in South America. If he was from Northern Europe he would hibernate in winter.

Man: So he will remain stiff until winter?

Shop Assistant: Not necessarily. A quick ten seconds in the microwave oven will soon revive him.

Man: I don't believe you. He seems dead to me. Look, his eyes are wide open, and his fur is beginning to fall off.

Shop Assistant: All right. I'll let you have it for half-price.

Man: Half-price? I'd expect a bigger discount for a dead hamster.

Shop Assistant: Guinea pig ...

Man: All right. A dead Guinea pig ...

Shop Assistant: I tell you what ... I'll let you have it for free if you buy another Guinea pig as well.

Man: OK ... I'll have that one too.

Shop Assistant places another Guinea pig in the box.

Man: He seems rather slow moving to me ...

Shop Assistant: That's because he has a bit of a migraine. He was at a party last night. You know ... all that dancing and singing ... and the drinks and the girls ... He must have a bit of a hangover this morning.

Man: A party? He was at a party?

Shop Assistant: A funeral actually. And a get-together afterwards to celebrate the deceased's life.

Man: Who died?

Shop Assistant: This other Guinea pig. But he did not turn up to his own funeral.

Man: Why not?

Shop Assistant: He was up for sale at a reduced price!

IF YOU LIKE MY KIND OF HUMOUR
WHY NOT TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT IT ON YOUR BLOG?

14 comments:

  1. What an comedic exchange! I do like the idea of the guinea pigs' hosting a celebration of life for their friend.

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    Replies
    1. Pity he did not attend because he was on sale at a reduced price.

      God bless, Mevely.

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  2. Thanks for my daily chuckle, Victor! Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Martha for visiting here again.

      God bless always.

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  3. HaHa..just a moment or two in the microwave...funny!! You have reminded me of my own Guinea pig story ~ Truly one of my most embarrassing moments. Think I'll share that story soon. Have a great weekend. Keep us laughing. Hoping some of my blog friends will join you!

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    Replies
    1. Looking forwards to your Guinea pig story, Wanda.

      Keep smiling my friend. I think you'll like tomorrow's post.

      God bless.

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  4. Replies
    1. God bless you always, Bill. It's good to laugh.

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  5. Your sense of humor is remarkable Victor...I hope that you don't use props to write your humor 🐀

    God's Blessings Victor 😁

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    Replies
    1. Nope ... no props ... apart from the keyboard of course, and the monitor, the PC, electricity, desk, swivel chair ... and best of all a great appreciative audience like you, Jan.

      God bless always my friend.

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  6. … :)

    As a child I had a Guinea pig called Snowball!

    All the best Jan

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