Really? I mean ... really?

With so many people staying at home there is no shortage of programs on TV advising you on what to do and how to stay and eat healthy.

Even the cooking programs with a plethora of chefs competing with each other on every TV channel have become an annoyance rather than a helpful distraction. I've never liked cooking programs since all my attempts in the kitchen are only appreciated by the dog. Yet there was another idiot chef on TV the other day teaching us how to prepare Lobster Thermidor and Lobster Bisque. Sadly, we had just run out of lobsters but we had plenty of armadillo steaks. Would that do?

Who are the idiot program decision-makers who think we all have lobsters at the ready in our kitchens right now?

Another program has a keep-fit type man advising you to keep nice and trim. He suggested we walk 10,000 steps every day. Indoors! Where he got that number from, I do not know.

Try walking 100 steps, never mind 10,000, with the floor covered in Lego bricks? Who invented those instruments of torture best consigned to the Spanish Inquisition? Have you stepped on one lately? I have!

The health instructor also suggested we go up and down, up and down, the same step in our house as a form of exercise. He suggested we do this 100 times. I tried it and it took me ages to go up to the bathroom. An accident occured.

Another clever suggestion is that we sit on a chair, or sofa, and get up, and sit, and get up, and do so over and again several times. I don't see the point of that when we have the TV remote control to change the channels for you automatically.

Don't you hate it when she vacuum cleans when there is sports on TV?

Why does her voice not go lower when you point the TV remote at her? All I get is the silent treatment and no hot meal.

Another suggestion from the TV people is that we should be kind and care for each other more. I can't understand why.

A couple we know ... they are not neighbours exactly. They live a few houses down the road in the next street plus one from our street. Anyway, we see them walking past our house every now and then with their children going to the park. They wave and we wave back and exchange greetings. They haven't been past our house lately. Probably at home like us.

Until yesterday.

The door-bell rang. I looked out of the window. They were standing on the side-walk away from our house.

They waved. I waved back. They pointed at our house. I waved back. They pointed at our front door. I waved and gave them the thumbs up sign.

I opened the door and there was a large wicker basket on our door-step.

"We've left you a present!" they said.

"How kind," I replied with a smile, "you shouldn't have!" (I meant the latter part, because now I'll probably have to get them a present of equal or higher value. Why do people have to be an annoyance and give me presents I have not asked for? I hope it is something edible. If it is not edible it is not worth having - that's my motto in life).

"We thought we'd cheer you up!" they said as they left.

I took the wicker basket in and took the cover off. It contained two kittens.

What sort of idiot moronic lunatic bird-brained people are these? What possessed them to think that two kittens would cheer us up? Now we have two more mouths to feed. And we're totally out of cat food as well as lobsters.

They might as well have gifted us their pet rabbits, hamsters, gerbils, tortoises and whatever else their menagerie of animals consists of. How about some lobsters?

I mean ... if this is what it is like to be nice and kind to each other I'd rather go back to the bad old days when everyone was un-caring and looked after Number One first.

On a serious note though ... here is a new tradition that has started in the UK.

Every Thursday, at 8:00pm, people open their windows, (some stand in their front garden), and applaud the good works done by those in the front line - doctors, nurses, ambulance staff, police, fire service, shop staff, food delivery staff, teachers who stay at school to look after the children of the afore mentioned front-liners, etc ...) People applaud or bang pots and pans together or make similar noise for about ten minutes or so in honour and recognition of all those people who continue to work, at their own risk, to keep society and the country going.

The tradition is being encouraged by social media and TV. On TV they showed people in various parts of the country, in towns and cities, out of their windows clapping and cheering.

Near us, last week, someone let off fireworks. It was too bright to see them properly in the sky but you could hear their explosions from a distance. From my back garden I could hear someone playing the bagpipes. It was loud enough to hear but I could not tell where it came from. It lasted about ten minutes. People seem to be doing their own thing to applaud front-liners each Thursday.

I am proud of what the front-liners are doing at their own personal risks for the rest of us. We should say an extra prayer for them and their families.

We will all remember these historic times in years to come.

God bless.