Wednesday 13 May 2020

The Hairy Dream



I dreamed a dream in times to come ... When hope will be high and life worth living ... again. And in this dream, when all this is over, throughout the world, there will be a shortage of hairdressers appointments. People will phone and call everywhere to book a time to have their hair cut. But no one will be able to book them in for every slot will be already taken.

People will walk the streets like zombies with hair as long as it could be. Growing from every place that one can fathom and never seeming to want to stop. People will be tripping and falling on their moustaches and beards. Women in search for a salon. Armpits hair so long that it is braided or in ponytails. And hair growing everywhere.

The queues outside hairdressers and salons will be miles long with people standing at least two metres apart to respect social distancing. Governments everywhere will try to shorten the queues by asking people to stand closer together again.

All will be well once more in this new dawn. People will be allowed to hug and kiss again except for the hair that comes between them. Hair uncut for such a long time encouraging others to grow unwanted.

And in my dream I drove up the highway in my sports car. My girl beside me with her hair blowing in the wind. And I had to stop to pick it up before it got entangled in the trees.

I also dreamt that I went to the hairdresser and asked him for a Tony Curtis hairstyle. He shaved my head totally bald. I was livid. Really mad. "You've shaved me totally bald," I cried, "do you even know who Tony Curtis is?" 

"Indeed I do," he replied, "I saw him in The King And I fifteen times."

A few weeks later I went to another hairdresser. He asked me how I’d like my hair cut. I looked at him and said, “Like yours!”

He shaved my head totally bald. I was livid again. I said, “that’s not like yours!”

He replied, “Yes it is, but mine has grown again now!”

A few weeks later on I went to yet another hairdresser. He asked me how I’d like my hair cut. He had a photo of Gary Cooper. I pointed at the photo and said, “like him!”

He shaved my head totally bald. I was really livid, more than before. I said, “That’s not what Gary Cooper looks like!”

He replied, “He would if he came here for a haircut!”

In this dream there was hair everywhere. As it was cut there became a problem of disposal or re-cycling.

What can you do with all this hair that has been growing uncut for weeks on end? It gathered and rolled everywhere as tumble-weed in cowboy films.

To find a single hair in your soup in a restaurant became a dream to aspire to rather than the norm.

A hair's breadth was measured in miles.

I dreamed a dream in times to come.
When hope will be high and life worth living ... again.
I dreamed, that love had never died.
I dreamed that God would need a calculator to count the hair on our head.

Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So do not be afraid; you are worth much more than many sparrows! (Luke 12:7)

26 comments:

  1. When my wife gets done with what is left of my hair, God needs his fingers not a calculator.

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    1. I understand what you mean, Bill. I hope people keep the faith and trust in these difficult times.

      God bless you and yours.

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  2. My sister-in-law has a hair shop. When she is allowed to open I will be in line.

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    1. You're lucky to be the first in line, or as we say over here, in the queue.

      God bless, JoeH.

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  3. Oh, how I need both highlights and a hair cut! That was some "hairy" dream you had, Victor, or was it a nightmare? Lol!
    Blessings!

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    1. I think this is what will happen when we're allowed out again. Haircuts needed all round and a shortage of hairdressers able to book you in.

      God bless you Martha.

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  4. "hair" today...gone tomorrow".
    I must say that your hairy dream was a nightmare 💇

    Thank you for making us smile today even though on some other smile is covered by hair.

    God's Blessings Victor 🌷

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    1. We have a saying in the UK, "keep your hair on". Meaning do not panic or lose your temper. I think a lot of people will begin to panic when they turn into a ball of hair. Can you imagine? Hair growing everywhere!

      Hairdressers will be the new millionaire nouveau riche.

      God bless, Jan.

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  5. An I thought it was Yule Brenner that was bald in the King and I. haha. I'm sorry to say I've taken the scissors to my hair several times during the shut down. I seem to do the front ok...but the back is really getting long... I need to go for a ride in your convertible. HaHa Have a great week.

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    1. You're right, Wanda. It was Yul Brynner. We should tell the hairdresser he got it wrong.

      You've reminded me of a friend of mine from years ago. She had long black hair all down her back. None on her head. Just down her back.

      God bless.

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  6. What an amusing tale … with a great finale! I was half expecting you to launch into the theme from that old musical, Hair. Relieved that you chose Les Miz instead … that's probably my all-time favorite score.

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    1. Aaaah ... I was wondering who'd be first to recognise Les Miserables. Do you know why Victor Hugo, the author of the original book, called it Les Miserables? Because at the time they had awful hairdressers in Paris.

      God bless, Mevely.

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  7. Back in the late 80s I shaved my head just to see if I liked it and I did. I grew it back but then in 2002, I shaved it again and it's still gone. Saves on shampoo though. :)

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    1. Indeed Bill. It does save on shampoo. Quicker to comb too!

      God bless, my friend.

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  8. Hairdressers are going to be so busy … and I must say I'm looking forward to be able to make an appointment!

    All the best Jan

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    1. Better book early, Jan. There will be a bigger shortage of bookings than toilet paper.

      God bless always.

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  9. Not a problem for me. Ken cuts my hair! :)

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    1. You're so lucky. Does he take bookings?

      God bless, Happyone.

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  10. I chose the wrong career: singing and cutting hair, together. When Anne Hathaway sold her hair and sang that song, it was a teary moment.

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    1. Hairdressers are a cut above the rest, Susan.

      God bless you.

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  11. The hairdressers and barbers are going to be busier than a one armed paper hanger!

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    1. What a hair raising experience.

      God bless, Mimi.

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  12. I just love happy endings, Victor:)

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    1. Yes Chris. Luke 12:7 is so comforting.

      God bless you, my friend.

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  13. I hope everyone's safe and staying safe. I just read that the virus is mutating and getting much more dangerous. I don't want to alarm anyone but it's time to get right with God, cause this is getting downright scary! Stay home and stay safe, guys!

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God bless you.