Tuesday 25 August 2020

Bubbles ... Bubbles ...

 


There I was dressed in my best suit and heading for an important business meeting in the City.

I got out of the taxi and walked on the sidewalk towards the building I was heading for when suddenly I was showered from above by what appeared to be a green “gunge” smelling of disinfectant. I really don’t know where the unpleasantly sticky, semi-liquid substance came from. I looked up at the tall building and there were a few windows open. Anyway … no time to go in and try to complain.

My head, hair, raincoat and suit were totally covered by the substance.

I rushed into the building where I was to have my meeting and headed for the Gents Toilet.

Have you ever tried to wash your hair in those tiny wash basins? Water bounces off everywhere and strategically lands on the front of your trousers with embarrassing results! I can’t go to the meeting like that! What will they think of me?

I tried bending backwards like a limbo dancer and standing under that contraption which blows hot-air to dry your hands in the hope that I could at least dry my trousers a little. But … dash it all … I was interrupted several times by people coming into the Gents so I stood up quickly and pretended to dry my hands. At one stage a lady cleaner came in to clean the toilets and eyed me suspiciously and walked out saying nothing.

I gave up drying my trousers and tried to wash the gunge from my hair instead. It must have been an industrial strength liquid because it started to foam profusely like shampoo on my head. The more I put water on it the more it foamed but eventually I got most of it off. Now to dry my hair under that hot air dryer! Dash it all once again … someone came in suddenly and as I got up with a start I banged my head hard against the infernal contraption knocking my glasses off to the ground.

I now turned my attention to my raincoat and suit. Pointless adding water to them I thought. I have no time and must rush to my meeting. I used a million paper towels and wiped off any excess substance that had not yet permeated into the material and headed for my meeting.

As luck would have it … Oh thank you God, thank you … the meeting had been cancelled due to some other business emergency.

Great … I headed back home.

My return journey on the train was somewhat hot and a strong smell of disinfectant filled the air in my vicinity. A few passengers sniffed at me suspiciously and moved away to other seats, or stood by the open windows. I pretended not to notice.

As I walked back home from the railway station it started to rain and I was forced to put my raincoat on. The water reactivated the green gunge which started to foam. The more it rained the more it foamed as I ran home followed by millions of brightly colored soap bubbles filling the air behind me. People stopped and looked at me thinking I was a walking advert for soap powder. It brought the traffic to a standstill as drivers switched on their windshield wipers to wash away the soapy substance from their cars.

When I got home I threw the raincoat into the washing machine with a good dose of washing powder.

Big mistake!

The green gunge combined with the washing powder to create even more bubbles. I rinsed the garment several times and every time the machine discharged its load through the drains the bubbles insisted in floating away in the garden rather than disappearing with the rest of the water. On and on the bubbles floated away decorating trees, bushes and everything in their way.

I opened the washing machine and more bubbles came out invading my whole house and threatening to evict me from my home.

I grabbed my vacuum cleaner and headed for the garden intent on capturing as many bubbles as possible in mid-air before they covered the entire world.

I put on my Wellington boots which are usually kept just outside the back door for emergencies. No sooner had I walked a couple of paces than I felt a slimy feeling in my left boot. I hurriedly pulled the boot off to discover that a family of snails had set up home in my boot and were now in the final throes of agony around my toes before meeting their Maker.

It started to rain again popping the bubbles in mid-flight; so I gave up and left bubbles and snails to their own fate as I retrieved the raincoat from the washing machine to find it had shrunk sufficiently to fit a Barbie doll … or should that be a Ken doll? 

CLICK HERE

 

31 comments:

  1. ...washing my hair in a tiny wash tasin shouldn't be a problem, I have very little hair.

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    Replies
    1. Good point Tom. In that building where I was, the wash basins were tiny, just big enough to wash/rinse one's hands. I opened the faucet at full blast and the water just bounce on the front of my trousers.

      God bless.

      Delete
  2. Bwahahahahahahahaha. What a day. Sometimes it's better to just throw all those things away and start over. The snails made me really laugh out loud.

    Thank you for joining the Happy Tuesday Blog Hop.

    Have a fabulous Happy Tuesday. 😎

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    Replies
    1. It's great to see you visiting here again Sandee. Thank you so much. This is a true story. Turned out the building where the liquid was thrown from was a hostel for youngsters with special needs. No doubt they were having fun with some cleaning liquid.

      God bless.

      Delete
  3. I remember this story from A Cup of Humour, Victor, but so enjoyed reading it again! You asked who the woman was singing on Silent Night? I listened to the song, and it was/is me. So glad you're enjoying our music!
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. Well ... you have a great voice. Excellent. You should be on X Factor or America got talent.

      So glad you enjoyed a Cup of Humour, Martha.

      God bless always.

      Delete
  4. So funny, but with a tinge of anxiety for the person plagued by the bubbles , oh, and the snails. Cracked me up. A great yarn.

    gramswisewords.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I guess that looking back it was funny. Especially people avoiding me on the train.
      Great to see you here Grams. Please call again soon.

      God bless.

      Delete
  5. I remember playing darts one day in a pub and went to wash my hands, a blast hit me right in the front of my pants. I never forgot that, now it's funny. I can relate. :)
    The people who saw you probably remember you as the bubble man. :)

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    Replies
    1. Yes indeed, Bill. There were bubbles everywhere I walked, re-activated by the rain.

      God bless, my friend.

      Delete
  6. Very funny and entertaining...most of us have had a "washing machine" bubble episode....Growing up, we never had a shower, only a tub...so we washed our hair in the sink. Not easy, but that was all we could do. Unless we used the hose outside.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. The washing machine filled with soap powder re-activated the liquid soap in my coat. There were bubbles everywhere even though I rinsed it several times.

      God bless, Wanda.

      Delete
  7. Oh my gosh- how frustrating a day you had! Especially the epic event of the smails! My your day today go well!

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    Replies
    1. Hi Kathe. So nice to see you visiting me here today. Many thanx. Please call again soon and invite your friends.

      God bless.

      Delete
  8. The bathroom dryer scenario is very reminiscent of something my uncle once endured ... before admitting defeat and checking himself into a proper hotel room. (Better not elaborate, LOL.)

    I'm thinking you may well have resembled a Chia pet!

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    1. That's exactly how my hair looked - Chia pet. The liquid was a commercial non-available to the public soap liquid for cleaning restaurant kitchens, factories and similar high volume areas.

      God bless, Mevely.

      Delete
  9. Oh, Victor, you really have a rich imagination!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is my imagination real or is life just imaginary?

      God bless, Ladka.

      Delete
  10. Your life is never easy, and your stories either. So well told, that I was seeing the green gunk and bubbles in my head.

    Snails should know better than to snuggle up in wellies.

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    1. The thing is, Susan, I sometimes actually "see" stories in my head like a film. So I have to write them quickly, finding the right words, before the film ends.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  11. Dearest Victor,
    That was a very humorous story told à la Victor.
    It makes for a good laugh and we all need that.
    Sad for the snail family that lived inside your Wellies near the door.
    Glad you finally got rid of all that green gunk.
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    Replies
    1. Hi Mariette. A lot of this story is true. The gunk ruined a good business suit I was wearing at the time. It was concentrated cleaning fluid used for businesses rather than available to the public.

      God bless always.

      Delete
  12. You wouldn't think a bunch of bubbles could cause so much trouble! :)

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    1. Yes Happyone, as I just mentioned above to Mariette, the green liquid was a concentrated cleaning fluid. Ruined my suit.

      God bless.

      Delete
  13. ... and then I read "When I got home I threw the raincoat into the washing machine with a good dose of washing powder."

    Oh NO I thought ... that was a mistake!!!

    Happy mid-week wishes to you Victor.

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When in a panic one does make mistakes. I should not have added more soap powder to the washing machine. The liquid concentrate ruined my suit as well as the raincoat.

      God bless you and yours, Jan.

      Delete
  14. Years ago I used to go to the gym in the morning, where I would shower and change into my work clothes after a class. I always had time to kill, so I would go to the library. One day I discovered their restroom had a very strong hand dryer...and if I stood under it just right it would do the same thing for my hair.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some of the hand dryers these days are really very powerful. The one at work is so strong when I turn it on it blows me right back to my desk. And my office is two floors above the rest room!!!

      God bless, Kathy.

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  15. Well, that's one way to fill the house with soapy stuff and get it clean. There's always a silver lining.

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    1. Is too much soap cleaning or not?

      God bless, Mimi.

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