Thursday 20 August 2020

Help me, doctor!



The doctor wrote saying it was time for my annual check-up. They wanted to check that my sense of humour was still intact. 
 
As part of the check-up I had to go to the hospital to give blood. I hate doing that, don't you? For a start, it is too far away requiring either a long drive or a couple of buses, (not at the same time - you ride a bus up to a point then change for another bus. I don't think you're paying attention).

Anyway, I decided to send a friend to give blood instead of me. Handed over my card and hey presto it was done. They don't check your identity in hospital. They just take your card and your blood.

A few days later I got a letter from the doctor about the blood test result. It said I was pregnant. I was in shock. How could it have happened? My friend did not tell me she was pregnant; it didn't show. Can you become pregnant by giving the wrong blood at the hospital?

I did not dare tell my wife I was pregnant. She wouldn't understand. Neither can I to be honest. She'd be upset. Angry even.
 
Should I confess to the priest that I am pregnant out of wedlock with my wife?

I rushed to my doctor for an explanation. As I waited outside her Insulting Room a nun came out crying her heart out.

I entered the doctor's room and asked, "Why is that nun so distraught and crying?"

"I told her she was pregnant!" replied the doctor still looking at her computer screen.

"Is she?" I asked, thinking the nun must have given the wrong blood too.

"No," replied the doctor, "but I sure cured her hiccups!"

She then explained that she often tells her patients they are pregnant to elicit information from them. She said she suspected something was wrong when the blood donation I gave at the hospital recently was a completely different type blood than the one they have on record about me. 

I did not say a word about the urine sample my friend took to hospital for me. It was not mine. It was the dog's.

I wonder if he is pregnant too!

26 comments:

  1. ...what a storyteller you are!

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    1. It's all true, I tell you ... honest!

      God bless, Tom.

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  2. Clever doctor! Nevertheless, I didn't see that coming!

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    1. I tell you, I was worried there for a while.

      God bless, Mevely.

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  3. A dog taking your urine test. Now that's a first! :)

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    1. Do you think they can tell in the lab that it is not my test sample?

      God bless, Bill.

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  4. That is one smart doctor, I must say! Such and entertaining tale today, Victor.
    Blessings!

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    1. I was worried that I was really pregnant, Martha.

      God bless you.

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  5. Thanks for the laugh! Have a blessed and beautiful day.

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  6. Dearest Victor,
    Haha, the Insulting Room!
    Yesterday they did poke around in my arm for a blood sample; never a fun experience!
    But your story is hilarious and makes us look at these checkups different.
    If we loose the humour; we're dead!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    1. I try to see the funny side in situations, Mariette. Not always easy.

      God bless you always my friend.

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  7. Like the teacher, somehow the doctor always knows. Best to go to the blood draw yourself, i think.

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  8. Replies
    1. Clever, don't you think? They still have not written to me about the urine.

      God bless, Susan.

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  9. One of these times your shenanigans are going to catch up with you :-)

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    1. Why can't they check the blood like they do in Star Trek? Without the big needles?

      God bless, Kathy.

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  10. You tell some stories that make me smile. Thank you

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    1. It's great to see you smile, R.

      God bless always.

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  11. Thanks for the laugh Victor :)

    All the best Jan

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  12. Oh my goodness, Victor. I dare not miss any more of your yarns. This one had me needed a tissue....laughing so hard. Funny, cause my dearest had his blood drawn yesterday...Enjoyed very much. You are a funny man!

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    1. I'm so pleased to hear you enjoyed this story, Wanda. Ideas come into my head from nowhere and I share them with my readers here. Keep smiling.

      God bless.

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