Thursday 15 October 2020

Parents


Harvey was 19 years old, so he definitely knew everything there is to know in the world.

He lived with his parents in a small terraced house and went to work at the same factory as his father.

One day, in his spare time, he was helping Father Ignatius paint the wooden fence at the very end of the back gardens; the one separating the Church grounds from the fields beyond.

In conversation, Harvey explained to the wise priest how his parents really knew very little of the modern world. How they lived in ancient times. How their expectations and ambitions were out of sequence with reality. Harvey felt that his parents held him back somewhat. They insisted on his being at home at a certain time … “Can you imagine that? I am 19, and they still want to know who I go out with and where! Archaic or what … I tell you!”

Father Ignatius put down the pot of paint he was holding and sat down on the small step ladder they had brought with them to reach the top of the wooden fence.

“When you look at your parents, Harvey,” he asked, “what do you see?”

Harvey looked at him in puzzlement and replied “I see Mom and Dad … of course!”

“Silly question, I suppose,” continued the priest, “but I’ll ask it again … what do you really see?”

“I don’t know what you’re on about … you’re a bit like them at times Father … you don’t speak straight!”

Father Ignatius laughed.

“It is natural, and a good thing of course, for children to see Mom and Dad when they look at their parents.

“Mom and Dad brought them into this world. Mom and Dad took care of them when they were young. Mom and Dad were involved in their up-bringing and their education. They took time off to attend all the school events such as sports day, music evening and whatever else.

“Your parents did that for you; am I right?”

Harvey nodded. The priest continued.

“Your father often drove you in his old battered car wherever you needed to go to … like the Saturday football games.

“Your mother made sure you had a packed lunch every day at school, and you had clean clothes every day …”

"Yeh … I understand …” Harvey interrupted.

“I am not criticizing you Harvey,” said the priest gently, “what I’m saying is that our parents care for us. I know mine did … even after I left home and went to Italy to study for the priesthood. My mother used to send me packets of a special cake she used to bake in case Italian food was not nourishing enough!”

Harvey smiled.

“And your parents care for you too … they always will. It’s in the genes as they say.”

Harvey laughed.

“But that’s not what I meant when I said what do you see when you look at your parents.” continued Father Ignatius.

“Most people would say, just as you said … I see Mom and Dad.

“Not many people see an individual human being. A woman and a man. People, no different to you and I.

“People who at one time were children themselves. And they grew up with their own hopes, their own worries and their own fears. People, like every one else, struggling in this world to make the best of their lives, and that of their children.

“We do tend to see our parents differently than anyone else. We see Mom and Dad … we don’t see the people beyond Mom and Dad … the people who are Mom and Dad.

“Our parents are people with their own personal abilities, limitations and foibles. People with their own personal emotions and characteristics and personalities; developed and honed through years of circumstances and experiences which life threw at them.

“Our parents may well curtail our freedoms somewhat … they may well appear ancient and from a different age … but I’m sure they mean well. They behave the way they do because they are human and they have their own human characteristics.

“I know my parents meant well when they tried to teach me right from wrong. Do you think yours do?”

“I suppose …” mumbled Harvey.

“Of course they do,” confirmed the wise old priest, “the thing is … parents too tend to see their children as children … they seldom see beyond the child, and see a growing young man or woman with their own characters, weaknesses, needs and so on. A child your age is eager to explore the world around him … nothing wrong with that. But sometimes parents can’t see that … they forget how they were at that age.

“For a parent, a child is always a child … it’s often very difficult to let go. But they do it out of love.

“Do you think your parents love you?” the priest asked directly.

“Yes … of course.” said the young man emphatically.

“Good …” replied the priest, “you’re right of course.

“… And I’m sure you’ll remember that when in turn one day in the future, you too will become a parent and you’ll love your own children just as your parents love you. You too will not be able to let go … And I suspect your children will think you’re an old relic from times gone by worthy of an exhibit in a museum!”

Harvey laughed.

“Now let’s get on with the painting …” continued Father Ignatius.

Harvey smiled as he dipped the paint brush in the pot of paint.

MORE FATHER IGNATIUS STORIES HERE

27 comments:

  1. ...Father Ignatius sums it up well.

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    1. Thank you so much, Tom. I never realised what I would learn from Father Ignatius when I created the character in my first book.

      God bless you.

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  2. A lesson well taught and hopefully learned! Have a grand weekend!

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    1. Many thanx Cathy. Wishing you a great weekend.

      God bless always.

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  3. Parents are wonderful and sadly you miss all they did once they are gone. Thanks for joining our Thankful Thursday Blog Hop!

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    1. Well said, Brian. Thank you for visiting me here today.

      God bless.

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  4. Dearest Victor,
    Father Ignatius painted out Harvey's future so very well and made him see his Parents in a more clear way.
    The protective coat of LOVE might appear different to young adults, till they apply that very same coat of LOVE to their own.
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    1. What a wonderful thing to say about parental love, Mariette. Thank you so much. You are so right that our parents love us more than we can imagine.

      God bless you and your family.

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  5. Dad misses his parents wishing he was back with them again

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    1. We always miss what we have known and perhaps not loved as we should have.

      God bless Timmy.

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  6. You've heard me say it before, but I LOVE Ft. Ignatius! Not so funny to realize how wise my parents were, long after I could have told them so personally.

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    1. You are right, Mevely. It's always when we look back, perhaps too late, that we realise what our parents did for us. Mine sacrificed a lot ... a lot.

      I am editing my latest Fr Ignatius book. To be ready shortly.

      God bless you and your family, Mevely.

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  7. A wonderful perspective on human life and how we look at it. A nice reminder too.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Bill.

      God bless you and yours.

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  8. Enjoyed this story today as much as I did in the first go-round in one of your Fr. Ignatius books, Victor. He is one of my all-time literary favorites!
    Blessings!

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    1. You are very kind and a very loyal supporter of my writings, Martha. Thank you so much. I am getting my latest Fr Ignatius book ready for publication. Hopefully soon.

      God bless my dear friend.

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  9. Wonderful :)
    I enjoyed this story.
    Thank you Victor.

    All the best Jan

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    1. Thank you so much, Jan.

      God bless you and your family always.

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  10. Sorry been away too long from your wonderful blog and stories. Can't catch up, so I'll just start new with today. Lovely story, and I'm sure none of us really can appreciate what our parents do, until we stand in their shoes and face the fact that our own children are so smart, and we so dumb. HaHa. Life is a cycle...they will learn...hopefully not to late!!

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    1. It's been a long time since I saw you here, Wanda. Thank you so much for visiting me again. Hope you and yours are keeping well.

      God bless you always.

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  11. An old, old tale, interpreted wisely and well.

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