Tuesday 16 February 2021

Monastic Visit

 

Some time ago I visited a monastery high in the mountains far away from society and the rest of the world. The monks there were self-sufficient, growing their own food and praying all the time. The monastery did not even have a postal address because they had no postal deliveries, telephones or computers or such things. The only directions to the place was: third mountain peak from the left.

The monks had taken a vow of silence.

When I arrived there, unfortunately, a monk was leaving the premises for good. He had been a monk for exactly three years. The Monk Superior, who was allowed to talk to me because he was meeting me for an interview, explained that monks are not allowed to speak apart from once a year for thirty seconds when they get to meet Monk Superior in private. 

After spending a whole year at the monastery, this particular monk was invited to speak to Monk Superior. He said, "the food here is too salty!"

After spending a second year at the monastery, he told Monk Superior, "the bed is too hard to sleep on!"

On the third year which ended yesterday he told Monk Superior, "my room is too cold!" At which Monk Superior replied, "I think you'd better leave; you've done nothing but complain since you arrived here!"

I was given permission to tour the monastery as long as I did not talk to anyone to preserve their vow of silence.

I went to the carpentry workshop where two monks were working quietly. As I got in, one monk was distracted by my presence and hit the hammer hard on his finger.

He stopped what he was doing and picking up a pencil he wrote "Ouch!" on the wall.

The other monk approached him and wrote underneath, "Did you hurt yourself?"

The first monk wrote under it, "OF COURSE I DID YOU ****"

The second monk wrote, "You don't have to shout!"

At this point, another monk came in the workshop. Picking up a pencil, he wrote, "Who's been writing on the wall? I've just painted it yesterday!"

The first monk who'd hurt himself wrote, "What's it to do with you? Why don't you just **** off!" And then he pushed the monk who'd just got in.

A fight ensued. One monk held the other by the neck like wrestlers do, and before long they were both rolling on the floor cassocks aloft. I noticed that they wear white underpants with red polka dots.

They knocked over one table and the various tools and instruments fell to the ground without making a sound.

At one point they stopped fighting and one of the monks wrote on the wall, "AAAAAAHHHHH! That hurt!"

A fourth monk came in and wrote, "Please stop fighting both of you! Or I will write to Monk Superior on his wall!"

The monk who'd hurt himself stormed out of the workshop slamming the door behind him. The door did not make any sound. I noticed that the edge of the door was padded with heavy cotton material to stop it making a sound when closed.

The remaining monks then left too without saying a word.

At this point Monk Superior entered the workshop and wrote, "Have you been writing on the wall?"

I said, "Of course not!"

I was thrown out of the monastery for speaking and breaking the vow of silence.

23 comments:

  1. There's nothing quite as strong as the "written word" Victor :)

    God's Blessings My Friend ✝

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    1. Yes ... but not on a newly painted wall.

      God bless, Jan.

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    2. It worked for my four children when they were young and creative. I have repainted many a wall in my time with toddlers running around the house with crayons in each hand.

      Blessings Victor

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    3. In our family people write on each other. They now all have jobs as tattoo artists!!!

      God bless you, Jan. Keep smiling.

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  2. ...in my mind this is a strange way to live.

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    1. What? Writing on walls? Many people write on walls. Unlike my family who write on people!!!

      God bless, Tom.

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  3. It was monks under a vow of silence who invented sign language that is now used by the deaf, or so i've been told. If these monks had used signs, you might not have been able to tell the story!

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    1. I wonder what rude sign language they would have invented though.

      God bless, Mimi.

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  4. Even monks can't get along . . . What is this world coming to? Do you think they've finally seen "the writing on the wall?"
    Blessings, Victor!

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    1. Good one ... writing on the wall ... I wish I had thought of that. Perhaps I should re-write the story.

      Thanx Martha, God bless you.

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  5. If you write on the wall, and there is someone there to see it, does this break the silence?
    Blessings!

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    1. That's a good theological, or philosophical, point Lulu. Is sound a sound when it is heard or not? Is writing writing when someone sees it? If it is written and no one is there to read it, is it just a scribble? So in essence it has not broken the silence because a scribble is just a scribble until someone can decipher it and read it. It is then that a scribble becomes writing. If I were to write my name in a cave and no one ever sees it, then it is just a scribble. It is only when it is read that it becomes writing. So to answer your question, if a monk sees the writing on the wall then the one who wrote it has broken the silence.

      Brilliant point, Lulu. Worthy of discussion. When is writing actually writing? You recognise the typeface of these letters and can read what I wrote. But an outer-space alien may just see this typeface as just drawings and therefore he could not read it. Anyway, even if he could read it, maybe the alien does not speak English. He will need someone else to translate the English words he has just "read" into Klingon or whatever language he speaks.

      Now I'm confused. God bless, Lulu.

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  6. They were lucky there wasn't a parrot in the monastery.

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    1. Good one, Bill. That would have been hilarious having a parrot miming a vow of silence!

      God bless.

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  7. I would have a hard time being silent. No wonder they came to fisticuffs. They were too bored to keep it all in. Lonely lifestyle I would say! Blessings.

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    1. Very odd lifestyle, Nells. Long periods of silence. I wonder ... do they dream silent dreams too?

      God bless you.

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  8. Monk Superior 🤣👍😁
    I'm so loving everyone's witty commentary! I wonder if graffiti didn't originate in that monastery?

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    1. Did you know, Mevely, my uncle was a graffiti professor at the local college? He taught students how to spell properly when they graffiti and to be grammatically correct. He taught hooliganism too.

      Great comments from my readers as always.

      God bless always.

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  9. That is something I don't think I could ever do - not talk!! Just ask Ken. 🙂

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  10. Dearest Victor,
    Don't think it would be possible to be quiet forever. Soon the steam would be blown off.
    Unless you would know how to read lips and mimic back...
    Used that a lot with the deaf in Indonesia at their boarding school and when they came to our home for a visit.
    Never forget the one evening that the electricity went off and I had to hold a burning candle near my mouth so they could read my lips and see them! We can talk in the dark but they cannot...
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    1. What a touching story, Mariette. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

      God bless you.

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