Titan

 

No ... not Titian the painter ... Titan the moon. Titan is one of Saturn's seven moons and has nothing to do with this lady mooning the gardener watching from outside. Do you see him on the left dressed in red?

As I was saying before you got distracted by Titian's painting. Titan is the largest moon of Saturn. One of seven. A bit like Snow White and the seven dwarves; only in this case it is Saturn and the seven moons.

Titan is primarily composed of ice and rocky material. Ice? Equals water perhaps? Does it resemble Earth I wonder? Can we live there? That is if we can afford the bus fare to reach it in time before the shops close?

The atmosphere of Titan is largely nitrogen; minor components lead to the formation of methane and ethane clouds. 

Methane. Have you heard of this before? It is what humans produce after eating too many beans. Cows produce it too, as well as many other animals. Methane is heavier than air. It is also flammable. Ask any teenager to explain it to you.

Because methane is heavier than air it tends to fall to the ground and form "lakes" or "seas" of liquid methane and ethane on Titan. Don't consider taking a holiday there with your swimming costume. Apart from smelling awful, methane is also poisonous when breathed. And one cigarette will set the whole place in flames. 

Besides, it is freezing cold on Titan. The lower temperature is about −179.2 °C; −290.5 °F. So take your coat with you, as well as thermal underwear.

Titan was discovered on March 25, 1655, by the Dutch astronomer Christiaan Huygens; although we do not know whether they speak in Dutch or not up there. 

Titan is the only known moon with a significant atmosphere, and its atmosphere is the only nitrogen-rich dense atmosphere in the Solar System aside from Earth's. However, despite this rich atmosphere there are no bars, night clubs or any forms of entertainment up there.

So you'd be better off staying here on Earth which is more tolerable weather wise, has less methane which you can blame on the dog if you happen to let off one, has night clubs, pubs and all forms of entertainment, as well as art galleries where you can go and view Titian's paintings if you like.