Wednesday, 17 March 2021

Zoo Appeal

 

Why does the doorbell ring at the most inopportune time; when I'm busy doing something from which I do not want to be interrupted.  Like yesterday, whilst I was counting the dust bunnies. I had reached 137 when ...

Doorbell: Ding Dong Ding Dong.

Man at door: Hello Sir, sorry to disturb you. I am from the local zoo about three miles from here. Do you know it?

Yes ... yes ... I do ...

Well Sir, I am here in your area to ask people to support our Zoo Appeal.

Oh ... ehm ... yes OK ... let me get my wallet.

No Sir, that would not be necessary. Welcome as it is, thank you. The thing is, with the economic situation being what it is the zoo can no longer survive as a business entity. I regret that it will be closed down over the next few months.

Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. We enjoyed visiting the zoo every now and then.

That's good to hear Sir. This is perhaps where you'd be able to help us. Would you be interested in buying one of our animals? They will be sold at the lowest price possible. Would you like a hippopotamus maybe? Or a rhino. We offer a reduction if you buy both.

What?

A combined purchase of two or more animals will attract great price reductions. Almost 50% in some cases. 

You can't be serious! What would I do with a hippo? And where would I put him?

We can assist you with the building of a swimming pool large enough to accommodate the animal Sir.

I can't believe what I am hearing. Are you suggesting that I buy a fully grown beast from you?

You may prefer a smaller animal perhaps. A goat, or an iguana? A penguin or two maybe. We'll help build their pool too. Your neighbours down the road have already agreed to buy an elephant and a tiger.

A tiger? In a built up area? Is it safe to have wild animals in a built up area like here?

A colony of ants perhaps? They'll come in their own glass cages. Or Madagascar cockroaches, or a swarm or two of bees. You can make and sell your own honey.

No thank you! I do not want to buy any animals.

How about an orthopaedic bed then? We used it when the gorilla injured its hip. Would that be of interest? 

21 comments:

  1. ...I'm never found zoos to be appealing

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    Replies
    1. Not even at 50% reduction if you buy two?

      God bless, Tom.

      Delete
  2. Be careful, Victor; it's a zoo out there! :)
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. Yes Martha. The whole world is a zoo it seems. Ours are having a bad time financially since lock-down.

      God bless.

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  3. Things must be tough all over.

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  4. I haven't been to a zoo in decades. They should send the animals to another zoo that can support them.

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    1. I'll admit I haven't been to the zoo for ages too, Bill. I watch the animals on TV instead and eat the monkey nuts.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  5. Such a deal! I'll take the penguins! (But now you've got me humming one of my favorite holiday tunes, "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas, only a hippopotamus will do ..........")

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    Replies
    1. Indeed Mevely. Only a hippo will do. Oh and a few penguins too. Why not open your own mini zoo?

      God bless always.

      Delete
  6. Dearest Victor,
    Well, listening to what some try to sell us into either believing or acquiring is mind boggling!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    Replies
    1. We often have door-to-door salesmen over here. I wonder if anyone ever buys anything from them?

      God bless Mariette.

      Delete
  7. It is amazing to hear what the door to door salespeople tell you. I once had a guy to tell me he could reduce my TV monthly bill by 50%. He had a company badge on his right sleeve. I told him I had another service and he turned around to show me their badge as well. The tag around his neck had yet another service. I told him to come back the next of never and closed the door, Blessings !

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I find these door-to-door salesmen annoying Nells. We never buy anything from them. But they do waste their time calling around here.

      God bless always.

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  8. I haven't visited a zoo for quite some time.
    I think most of them are struggling in these Covid times.
    It must be quite worrying for those who do look after the animals.

    Enjoy the rest of your week.

    All the best Jan

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    Replies
    1. That's right, Jan. Many businesses like zoos which rely on visitors are financially struggling right now. Difficult times.

      Best wishes. God bless always.

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  9. Selling zoo animals - that's a new one for me. :)

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    1. Zoo animals and orthopaedic beds, Happyone.

      God bless.

      Delete
  10. Let wild animals stay wild, and don't be talked into the bed. The gorilla wore it out, i am sure.

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    Replies
    1. You're probably right about the bed. I think the man at the door was making a monkey out of me.

      God bless, Mimi.

      Delete

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