Tuesday, 20 April 2021

Accidental consequences

 

Allo mes amis,

Someting veree strange as appened to me. A few days agoo, as I was in ze park, a football hit mee in ze ead. I lost conscience for a seconde or two. But zen, sudenlee, I started speeeking in a French accent. I could not stop eet. What ever I said came out in a French accent.

Le docteur he said that eet iz "mental reversal syndrome"! He explain to me perhaps some time in ze past I ear someone iz speeeking in a French accent and zis is imprinted in my brain. With hit of football I revert to that mode of speeeking sub conscience lee. I now speeke like Hercules Poirot or Maurice Chevalier or Edith Piaf but wiz a male voice!

Problem iz ... I now also write in French accent also. When I write ... I try write in proper Engleesh as I learnt from a book in schoool. But words come out on computer screen in French accent. As you can seee.

Also, since zis 'az 'appened, I seem to be followed by a lot of escargots ... how you say? Zee snails ... zey follow me wiz a garlicke sauce or zee French onions soup! 

I also seem to 'ave discovered a liking to painting like zee Too Loose Le Trick zee French portrait painter. He was veree short and only painted zee knees. When I paint zee portrait I stand on zee ladder so I only paint zee nozes.

So zere you ave eet. For time beeing I write to you ere with French accent. Pleeeze you write to me in French accent also so I eez able to under stand you. Merci.

24 comments:

  1. ...and merci to you too.

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  2. Vous Un crazeeee dude! (????)

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    Replies
    1. Moi? Crazeeee? Mais non Monsieur Jack. Eet eez zee football zat eez crazeee to hit meee!

      God bless.

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  3. Pardon, but I do not speak or write French.

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    1. I weeel teeech you zee French language Madame Kathy. All you need eez zee baguette bread, du vin et du fromage!

      God bless you.

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  4. Oui s'il te plait, I'd love me some escargot! 🐌

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    1. I weel send zem to you by snail mail!

      God bless you, Mevely.

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  5. Dearest Victor,
    You made me laugh and this reminded me of my French/Canadian friend HélÚne who moved here from Québec and did not speak English. When I took her to Atlanta, a good 2 hour drive for visiting and buying at the International Farmers Market, she tried so hard to order her meat. Can I ave alf a pound... The guy trying so hard to help her, was a foreigner himself, barely managing English. So I came to her rescue and explained that we don't have the silent 'h' here in the USA.
    She was such an avid tennis player and she again came to me for a problem that had happened with her friends. When she told them: 'You are the first, the second and you are the turd! Well I showed her in my French dictionary what she was actually was telling them. She laughed out loud and said, no wonder I was getting those STRANGE looks!
    Haha, language bloopers. But hoping that you soon find your reset button!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    1. It is great fun when hearing other peoples' language difficulties - especially those lost in translation like "third". I enjoy pretending I don't understand French or Italian whith other people around, and I understand their conversation with each other and say nothing.

      God bless you Mariette. I guess you have a lot of fun with your knowledge of many languages.

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  6. Cute story. I love your new accent. It made me smile and happy. Thank you. Blessings.

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    1. Merci beaucoup Madame Nells. I eez veree 'appy that you are veree 'appy and wiz a smilee.

      God bless.

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  7. When ever I try and do an accent it somehow quickly falls into a New York Jewish grandfather, and I'm a WASP. Oy!

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    1. I can't do American accents. French, Italian, a bit of Greek perhaps ... Not American.

      God bless, JoeH.

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  8. Merci beaucoup, monsieur. Passe une bonne soirée, mon ami.

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    1. Merci bien mon ami. Continue toujours de sourire. La vie est belle.

      God bless, Bill.

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  9. Tres bien, mon ami! Parler-vous Francais? Oui! Un peu.
    Blessings, Victor!

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    1. Oui, je parles Francais avec mon perroquet. Il répond "Pretty Polly Pretty Polly". Parce qu'il ne parle pas Français.

      God bless, Martha. La fin.

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  10. Mais, i only do Cajun accents.

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  11. Vous avez pris le football dans votre tĂȘte? For me, it was when I was beaned by a volume of Baudelaire from a high shelf. Delightful post, Victor.

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    1. A literary hit on the head. So glad to see you visiting here again, Geo. Thanx.

      God bless.

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