If we're honest with ourselves, we have all had times of doubts and confusion in our lives. Times when things were a little bad and we wondered whether God cares for us. Whether He has abandoned us. Whether we are not such a high priority in His In-Tray and whether He was more busy with someone else's problems. We may even have wondered whether He exists at all. And questioned the real basis of our faith.
Let us consider His followers and disciples. They had been with Him for three years or so. They had heard Him preach and lived with Him. They witnessed many miracles. Turning water into wine, feeding the thousands, walking on water, calming the sea. They witnessed His kindness and healings. The blind were made to see again. The lame to walk, the dumb to talk, and the deaf to hear once more. They saw the lepers cleaned and those possessed by the devil made free and whole again. They even saw the dead raised back to life. They witnessed Christ dying and be raised from the dead. He conquered death and evil for ever.
But even they, those who witnessed all this, hesitated when difficulties came their way. They ran away when Jesus was arrested. They betrayed Him, denied knowing Him, would not believe He was raised again unless they had proof, and did not even recognise Him on their way to Emmaus.
They were all too preoccupied with their own problems, Their own safety. Their own well-being. They were too fearful to recognise the truth in front of their very eyes.
They, who witnessed Jesus and His power and His Holy Deity, failed when it was so important not to fail.
So, you're not that bad as all that after all.
God knows when your faith falters, and why it does so. He understands and forgives you as He forgave Peter and the other disciples.
We all fail Him at some time in our lives. We all have our Emmaus moments. Few people have a strong unfaltering faith no matter the circumstances.
The important thing is to keep on believing. To keep on trying, no matter the circumstances, to believe in Him.
"Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have
not seen and yet have come to believe." (John 20:19-31).