Monday 17 May 2021

It's the science

 

There are a lot of scientific facts that escape our knowledge, and therefore, we deny ourselves the benefit that they impart purely because of our sheer ignorance. Had we known these facts ... then life would have been better for us.

This article will help explain some of the hidden science in the hope that we all benefit from what we've learnt.

Let us start with mosquitoes. We all hate mosquitoes and the pain they cause when they bite us; not to mention the possibility of spreading disease too.

Mosquitoes are prevalent at certain times of the year. They're everywhere. Outdoors in the garden or wherever we go, and indoors in our homes too. One way to avoid mosquitoes indoors is to have a chicken in your house. A live one. The frozen one in your freezer will not do. Chicken eat mosquitoes. You did not know that, did you? Science!

Mosquitoes know that chicken eat them, so they stay away. They actually "smell" chickens from far off. Science again. Even if an intrepid ninja type mosquito manages to bite a chicken through its feathers, the blood it sucks is not nutritious at all. So it is a failed attempt risking to be eaten anyway.

So keep a chicken in your house. If you go for a walk take a chicken with you. On a lead like you would a dog. Or train the chicken to sit on your shoulders like a pirate. Not that I have ever had a pirate sitting on my shoulder. I knew a vegetarian pirate once. He had a carrot on his shoulder. Better than having a parrot, I suppose. Parrots can be so dirty ... have you ever seen a pirate from behind!!!

Another insect that a lot of people are frightened of is the spider. Creepy crawling spiders in your house. The common name for them is "house spiders". Which leads one to wonder where they lived before we built houses. 

Now for the science. Did you know that spiders are afraid of sheep? You didn't did you? But they really do. If you want to avoid the situation of having a spider in your bath tub; especially when you want to have a shower or a bath; then put a sheep in your bath. Problem solved. No more spiders in the bath.

And now flies. To keep flies out of your home place a bucket of horse manure, (cow's will do also), in your garden. It will attract all the flies. Ideally, place the bucket as far away from your house as possible. Preferably near your neighbour's house. He will wonder where all the smell comes from and have multiple baths and showers thinking it is him that's beginning to smell. When you meet him or her, keep the pretence going by sniffing loudly and turning your nose up without saying anything. Be subtle about it and he'll never know about the bucket of manure.

Wasps and bees are also a nuisance in summer. Especially when you're on a picnic. Bees only attack when threatened. This is because once they have stung you they lose their sting, (that sharp tail-like thing they have), and they die anyway. Do any of you remember an English Rock Band in the 70s called The Police? Their singer-song writer was called Sting. Fancy being named after a bees bottom!

Wasps on other other hand attack when they want to, and can do it in swarms which can be highly dangerous. They do not lose their sting and attack time and again. The best scientific advice is not to have a picnic next to a wasps' nest, and if possible to wear a medieval suit of armour when you do so. Also, carry with you one of those electrified rackets that zaps insects in mid flight and fries them. Make sure the racket does not touch any part of your suit of armour as a short circuit is likely to fry your delicate parts. Another way of deterring wasps is by hanging brown paper bags to nearby trees. The bees, or wasps, will think it is another wasps' nest and fly away. Make sure the paper bag does not have the supermarket's name on it as this will spoil the illusion!

For larger creatures like skunks, squirrels, deer, rabbits and so on; the best way to keep them off your garden is by spraying talcum powder all round. Lavender scented is best, although lilac and pot pourri would do just as well. When I lived in London I spread lavender talcum powder all over the place and I never had an elephant in my apartment on the 31st floor. So I know it works!

Finally, if you have a pond filled with goldfish make sure you never drop any orange juice in the water, because the fish will think they are melting.

23 comments:

  1. Reading this reminds me of how much effort we often make to get rid of things that are not very important, and silly efforts at that. Wasting our time and potentials. Coming to wrong conclusions on unfounded presumptions, complicating our lives.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's make life easy and happy.

      God bless, Ladka.

      Delete
  2. Thanks for the scientific education. Now the problem is house training the chicken. I'll work on it.
    Sherry & jack
    PS:We are assuming you get paid for this science paper???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that is a draw-back. How to ensure the chicken learns to go to the bathroom. Easy ... put all the mosquitoes there!

      Sadly, no one pays me for my scientific research Jack.

      God bless you both.

      Delete
  3. ...this all is good to know, but here in the US more and more don't believe in science.

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    Replies
    1. Science is good. It proves everything.

      God bless, Tom.

      Delete
  4. Your "science" here, Victor, sounds like the "science" coming from our CDC regarding the pandemic. They have been wrong on just about everything, and continue to follow the political pull, not the real science.
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got my facts from the Internet; so it must be true.

      God bless you, Martha. Keep smiling.

      Delete
  5. Bahahahahaha! I may never leave my house again.
    On the other hand, I can't wait to share this with family and friends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All these facts are recorded here for the betterment of mankind. I am still awaiting world recognition and perhaps a Nobel prize or something! Please spread the word, Mevely. Thank you.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  6. Dearest Victor,
    Haha, that is very special 'science' with a huge dose of imagination and humor!
    We felt thrilled when last night at dusk around 20:25 a sweet deer was staring at us through the bay window of our kitchen. No chasing away of any critter in nature! We love them and enjoy them, even feed them.
    Hugs,
    Mariette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please please Mariette ... spread talcum powder all over your garden or else you will have many deers visiting.

      God bless.

      Delete
    2. Haha, that works in your postage stamp-sized gardens in Europe but not with some 10,000㎡... We don't have a truck for hauling talcum powder!

      Delete
  7. I don't care for spiders, bees or anything that can creep me out. When I see a bee or wasp, I try to fan it away and my wife says I shouldn't aggravate it because it will sting me. I take my chances. :) BTW, are you a scientist?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your wife is right. Fanning away at wasps especially will aggravate them. Bees might not be so aggressive. I use spray paint ... it sticks to their wings and they fall to the ground. It also leaves a lot of marks on the wall. I tell people Picasso painted our house.

      I'm an inventive scientist ... of sorts.

      God bless, Bill.

      Delete
  8. HaHa..Sorry I've been remis in reading your blog, but what good advice...I will be sure to get me a chicken, sheep, etc...Who would have thought the solution was so easy...Love it!!

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    Replies
    1. Science can solve so many of our problems ... mosquitoes, wasps, bees, flies and so on.

      God bless, Wanda.

      Delete
  9. Learning so many new things here today! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My job is to inform, educate and entertain.

      God bless you, Happyone.

      Delete
  10. Science wasn't one of my better subjects in school. Maybe I would have done better if you had been around to give me the information.

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    Replies
    1. Sometimes, with humour, one can remember a lesson in class. I'm glad you enjoyed this post, Kathy.

      God bless.

      Delete
  11. Your science is more fun than what i learned in school.

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    Replies
    1. I try to make it more memorable, Mimi.

      God bless.

      Delete

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