Thursday 1 July 2021

My dog is a Counselor

 


I went to see a dog psychiatrist the other day. I did not even know there were such things as dog psychiatrists. She was a nice lady. She asked me how I was. I said, "you know ... it's a dog's life these days!"

She seemed concerned. She asked me, "how long have you felt like that?"

I said, "ever since I was a puppy!"

She said, "get on the couch."

I told her I was not allowed on the couch. 

She asked me if I sleep well at night. Do I stay awake. Unable to sleep. Do I have nightmares. Do I howl at the moon.

She then said, "my husband is a psychiatrist too. He helps people, as opposed to animals which I do. Would you be interested in a group session? My husband and I, and you and your wife?"

I'm not so sure about that. I don't think having all four of us in bed together is a good idea, do you?

She then turned her attention to our dog Fetch. She asked me why I called him Fetch. I said it is to distinguish him from our other dog, Sit. 

She said they were unusual names for dogs. "What did you call your children?" she asked.

"Hey you and Shut up," I replied.

She noticed that my dog had a calming effect on people. She took him out in the yard and put him with a massive ferocious Alsatian which was barking and growling all the time. I thought he'd eat our little Fetch. Instead, the Alsatian whimpered and sat down, yawned, and seemed to go to sleep. Our dog sat next to him.

She tried the same thing with another dog. A yappy little poodle jumping up and down like a demented fish. As soon as she put Fetch in the cage the poodle settled down calmly.

Same thing with two Dobermen. A Boxer and a Greyhound.

"What an amazing dog you have," she said, "he seems to have a calming effect on other dogs."

And that's how my dog now works for her, three days a week, as a Counselor. She puts him with other dogs who seem to become docile and gentle in his company. Maybe he talks to them. I don't know. He is earning more than me as a Counselor telling other dogs what they want to hear.

She suggested I take our dog Fetch to bed at night. "Many people sleep with their pets," she said, "it might help you sleep."

Definitely not for me. I once took my pet to bed with me. The next morning the bed was totally wet and my goldfish had died.

31 comments:

  1. ...I'm not a pet person, but for many people pets give meaning to their lives.

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    Replies
    1. Yes they do, Tom. Mine gives money too.

      God bless.

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  2. O yes, that goldfish story, it could be mine :-)
    I enjoyed your post. It was good. Thank you

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  3. I was beginning to think I was wrong. I now know you are missing some pieces. I guess the dog took them. Just sayin'.
    Fun read, take care, be good and "SIT".
    Sherry and jack 'Sitting'.

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    Replies
    1. I am so glad I made you smile, Jack and Sherry. It's really good to see you visiting here. Thanx. Laughter is a good medicine.

      God bless always my friends.

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  4. "A demented fish" .... hahahahaha! What a gem you have with Fetch. I fear ours are dumb as rocks, but I wouldn't take anything for either one.

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    1. Yes, that poodle was jumping up and down and yapping all the time; until he met Fetch.

      God bless, Mevely.

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  5. LOL, love the names of the pets and children. Got to keep it simple so they remember their names. :)

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    1. It also helps me remember their names, Bill. I once called one of the children Fetch, and was told to go and fetch myself! I wasn't even lost!!!

      God bless.

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  6. Dogs can be a pain in the butt. On the flip side the do give you unconditional love, so there is that.

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  7. Maybe I need to visit Fetch and see if he could help with my waking in the middle of the night. Such a funny story. Blessings

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    1. I'm sure he'd be able to help you and tell you nice stories, Nells. Keep smiling my friend.

      God bless.

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  8. Hahahaha, This was hilarious! Well done!

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    1. I'm so glad it made you laugh, Manny. How are you my friend. Missed you around here.

      God bless.

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    2. I'm well thank you. I've been so busy I don't get around to my internet friends as much lately. Hope you are well.

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    3. All well, thank God. Please call here again soon my friend.

      God bless.

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  9. Dearest Victor,
    That was a fun story but not so the very end...
    One wonders what all those counselors are doing!
    Not my thing to go to any of them.
    Sometimes animals seem to have more sense!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    1. So many different kind of counsellors, Mariette. Marriage counsellors, fashion counsellors, lifestyle counsellors, health counsellors, fitness counsellors. I need a personal counsellor to advise me on which counsellor I should visit.

      God bless.

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    2. ALL invented after religion got pushed off the table. There is NO substitute and they have not yet figured that out...

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    3. You are so wise, Mariette. Yes, you are right about religion being pushed aside.

      God bless.

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  10. My cat sleeps with me, under the covers, snuggled right in close, but she only stays until I am sound asleep, then she moves to the foot of the bed on top of the blankets.

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    Replies
    1. Cats are very intelligent creatures.

      God bless, River.

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  11. That Fetch has a great gift, Victor. And I sure did get a laugh out of this.
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. So glad I made you smile. Hope you're keeping well, Martha. Praying for you all.

      God bless.

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  12. We need your Fetch over here to calm some of these poor dogs that people have trained to fight. Maybe if they could be retrained and put in good homes, they'd have a good life.

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