Friday 13 August 2021

The Conversation

 


I was enjoying Wile E Coyote and the Road Runner on TV. I like it when the Road Runner goes "beep beep" and speeds out into the horizon. I wish I could run that fast. I'd come and visit you for breakfast then be back home for supper.

When the program ended I was in a real good mood seeing this and other cartoons. I like watching cartoons when feeling really down. Better than having a drink of whisky or even coffee to lift one's spirits.

I turned channel and there was this news-reader who said something really terrible had happened somewhere or other far away. I can't remember what it was or where it happened.

Beginning to feel a little depressed I said, "why are you telling me all this?"

He stopped reading the news and said, "because it is important!"

I replied, "it is important to you, because you're a news-reader, and it is your job to read this depressing stuff. Why is it important to me?"

He said, "because you should know what is happening in the world!"

"Why?" I asked him.

"So that you are better informed. No man is an island," came the smart reply.

This annoyed me. I don't like glib smart-arsed clichés with no real meanings. Usually the people who use them are fatheads with no original thought or opinion of their own and they parrot what the last stomach gurgle has brought up.

"No man is an isthmus either," I said, "or a peninsula, or a dune or a desert. What's that to do with the price of fish?"

"What I meant to say," he said in a condescending tone of voice as if talking to a child, "is that there are things you should know about. Like global warming, melting of the ice cap, the environment ... as well as national and international things like politics, trade between countries, scientific discoveries, medical matters and ..."

I interrupted him, "look here mate" I said, "these things may be important to you because you're paid to make people miserable. I can't do anything to save the planet from global warming any more than you can control your flatulence to protect the ozone layer!"

Before he had time to answer, I switched the TV off.

He switched the TV on again and said, "your ostrich like behaviour is in itself one of the causes affecting the environment ..."

In pure anger and frustration I threw the remote control at him. I expected it to break the TV. Instead, it bounced back off the screen and hit me on the head so hard that I passed out.

Half-an-hour or so later my wife woke me up and said, "do you realise that going to sleep and leaving the TV on wastes electricity and it's bad for the environment!"

I'm sure that news-reader has got to her. He's brain-washed her. I'm certain of it. She's re-cycling everything and is so conscious of our carbon foot-print in case it harms the planet.

She's even stopped being amourous for a while in order to save energy!

30 comments:

  1. I try to avoid television news shows as much as possible (except for the local weather forecast). Instead I get informed via the newspaper and radio

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    1. Our newspapers and radio are also full of bad news. I'll stick to cartoons. They are very peaceful like Tom and Gerry, Wile E Coyote and Road Runner, and Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck.

      God bless, Kathy.

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  2. Ha! News-reader ...you've got that right. I fear REAL journalists have gone the way of the do-do bird. We've all but given up on watching the Main-Stream-Media leftists. (Oops, did I write that out-loud?)

    Say, if you're ever in the mood for some ordinary feel-goodness, why not check out Sean of the South -- SeanDietrich.com. Reading his daily column most always restores my faith in humanity.

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    1. I'll check out Sean Dietrich. Here all news channels on TV seem to enjoy bad news to make one feel downcast. They claim they're reporting real life. But it's so depressing.

      God bless, Mevely.

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  3. Dearest Victor,
    Yes, your sentence of 'parrot what the last stomach gurgle has brought up', is a perfect one and SO TRUE!
    Study history and geology, we have gone through different eras. Could they have prevented the ice age back then? No cars, no carbon footprints yet, other than burning wood.
    Way too many make a living off it and what good does it do to humanity or to our earth?
    Only used for monetary benefits and false promises connected with politics.
    Hoping that your wife is no longer saving energy...
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    1. You're so right, Mariette. Great weather variations always happen. Like the ice age, as you say. You can't blame that on what the people at the time did right or wrong. It just happened.

      Also, the loss of many ancient animals like the mammoth and the dinosaurs. Was humanity to blame for that too? Did they die because we did not re-cycle plastic bags?

      They say the dinosaurs died because they were hit by a meteor or something from outer space. Why were they all standing on the same spot?

      We are no longer saving energy at home !!!!!!!

      God bless.

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    2. Okay I had to comment on the comment, AMEN! LOL Good one today!

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    3. Hello Jack,

      Glad you liked the comment as well as the post. I never understood why dinosaurs became extinct. Did they burn fossil fuels or did they become fossils themselves? Which came first, the fossils or the fossil fuels?

      God bless.

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  4. Oh, just this week someone wrote a great thing about our TV: Tell-a-lie-vision.
    So true about mostly fake news!

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    1. There is so much confusion and contradictions on the news these days. Years ago they told us not to use paper bags from the shops because they are made of wood and it depletes the forests. They encouraged us to use plastic bags instead because they last longer. Now we're told plastic bags are bad. I carry a big metal barrel on my back and put all my shopping there.

      God bless, Mariette.

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  5. Love it. I am glad I am not the only one who talks to a screen, TV or Monitor. LOL I did enjoyt the visit with you even if you were knocked out and wasting Electric during the time.
    Sending the best of thoughts your way.
    Sherry & jack waving at your over the waves...

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  6. Yes, I talk to the TV all the time. This time the news-reader answered me back.

    Keep smiling Jack and Sherry. Best wishes from over here.

    God bless always.

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  7. Those news reporters sure like to put the fear of God in us, don't they? Give me cartoons any day!
    Blessings, Victor!

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    1. I really can't see the point of it, Martha. It's not as if they are selling more newspapers. TV News is a program here (in the UK) not interrupted by adverts. So why is all the news negative? Does it attract more viewers?

      God bless.

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  8. You have hit the nail squarely on the head!! I never watch the news, because it is terribly depressing. The newscasters make me feel as though the whole planet will explode at any given moment. I just read, read, read all the time except When I’m writing. That way I can form my own opinions. God bless you, Victor.

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    1. I agree, Nells. We can read the news and edit (in our head) what we believe is just not real or exaggerated.

      God bless you.

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  9. Basically, your wife is correct. Listen to her.

    I wonder if the news journalist realize the results of their trashy news.

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    1. Journalist would argue they are reporting facts. My question is: WHY?

      For example, if there's been a train derailment in a country far away, (or an avalanche, or motorway accident), with many dead and injured. How is giving me this BREAKING NEWS going to affect me? Of course, I sympathise with what has happened and the dead and injured. But do I really need to know this news, with reporters on the scene interviewing people "live" and asking them how they "feel" about it?

      I sometimes wonder whether they report such events just to fill in the hour slot dedicated to the News.

      God bless, Susan.

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  10. Don't watch the news anymore. You never now what is true anyway!!
    My dad used to love roadrunner cartoons!!

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    1. The only truth in the world is that Road Runner is faster than Wile E Coyote

      God bless, Happyone.

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  11. I am all in favor of what ever we can do to keep the air and water clean and not haphazardly hurt the planet. I believe God wants us to protect, respect and enjoy the world he gave us, it is however a bit ridiculous to think we can control the climate.

    If there was a way to control the climate, if we could just set a dial, it would cause more wars than anything man has ever seen. THe middle east would be yelling to turn down the heat, while northern areas would be requesting the thermostat turned up a bit. Bad enough my wife and I fight over the temperature control, we don't need countries killing people over a degree or two.

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    1. Spot on, JoeH. You got it 100% correct. We should respect the planet and its inhabitants - human, and animal alike. But we cannot and should not control the climate.

      One solution we have at home - I have installed thermostats in every room in the house, including the stairs, cellar and the attic. None of them are connected or really work. But they give the feeling she's in control.

      God bless you and your family.

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  12. I hope my tv never starts talking back to me. I'm the only backtalker allowed in this house.

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    1. Good on ye, Mate! That's the way it should be!

      God bless.

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  13. That last one is a bridge too far!

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