It's been quite a week. My wife has joined the church choir. She spends a lot of time practicing at home. When she starts singing I quickly run and sit outside where my neighbours can see me. I don't want them to think I'm hitting her.
To distract her, I took her to the restaurant last night. The manager said, "Do you mind waiting for a bit?" I relied, "No!"So he asked to take the drinks to table 9 and ask them what they'd like to eat.
Whilst I was serving, a man rushed in from the street and asked me, "Quick ... how tall is a penguin?" I replied, "About three feet!" He said, "Oh dear me ... I have run over a nun!"
I had a few drinks too many with our meal. So on the way home my wife drove the car. She crashed it and told the policeman who arrived on the scene that the man she collided with was speaking on his cell-phone and was drinking a can of beer at the time. The policeman said that the man can do what he likes in his living room.
After all the paperwork and formalities the policeman suggested I register for a donor card. He's a man after my own heart!
By the way, did I ever tell you that we named our two children War and Peace ... it's a long story!
I was really embarrassed the other day. My wife nearly caught me playing with my son's train set. So I quickly threw the bed sheet all over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks.
Do you know the quickest way to turn a sofa into a bed? Forget your wife's birthday. I did so last week and she said she'll make sure I never forget it again.
...and my wife is a member of the bell choir.
ReplyDeleteI like bell ringing. Is that a bell on a church tower?
DeleteGod bless, Tom.
Okay, I will admit I laughed out loud at the cell phone and beer one. I smiled at the others however I do remember a preacher once said he knew how to NOT forget his wife's BD, just forget it onece he said. He was a prophet!!!
ReplyDeleteTAke care my friend and have a great day, and THANKS...
What is it with wives and remembering dates like birthdays and anniversaries? I got mine a calendar and told her to put the dates she wants to remember on it. That way I don't have to bother.
DeleteGod bless you, Jack. (I don't understand women!)
Sounds like you have a wonderful wife!
ReplyDeleteLife can certainly be interesting, Sandie. God bless you.
DeleteAy Víctor, si que me haces reír con tus relatos, eres maravilloso.
ReplyDeletePero aprende a escuchar cantar a tu esposa jajajaja
Besos
TRANSLATION: Oh Victor, you really make me laugh with your stories, you're wonderful.
DeleteBut learn to listen to your wife sing, hahaha.
Kisses.
It is good to laugh, Mathilde. When my wife sings she frightens all the birds away from our garden.
God bless you.
Sounds like you and your wife were a match made in heaven. :)
ReplyDeleteNot singing from the same page though ...
DeleteGod bless, Bill.
LOLOLOL! That penguin/nun one almost made me snort!
ReplyDeleteIt's a good joke isn't it? Glad it made you laugh, Mevely. God bless al;ways.
DeleteAs I've said here before, Victor, your wife is a great candidate for sainthood - LOL! Oh, the patience she has with you and you with her. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteHumour makes life goes on smoother, Martha. God bless you and your family.
DeleteThis is great, Victor! LOL!!! I believe that you and your wife are a great match!
ReplyDeleteThank you Linda. God bless you and yours my friend.
DeleteGod bless you both.
ReplyDeleterkrsrue.blogspot.com
Thank you and God bless, Regine.
DeleteThanks for the laughs. :)
ReplyDeleteLaughter is the spice of life, (except garlic).
DeleteGod bless, K.
I needed a few laughs today and you were very successful in making this happen...I am amazed by how you can remember all of this comedy. I can hear a joke and before I can repeat it, I've already forgotten it.
ReplyDeleteI used to write comedy sketches years ago, Shug, and present them on stage; also I presented variety acts on stage and did a bit of stand-up. It was a group of people who presented shows for charity. So I had to remember a series of jokes in "subject" matter - wives, mothers-in-law, religion, animals and so on. I also presented comedy on my radio programs.
DeleteI'm so glad you enjoyed my post today; please invite your friends here too.
God bless.
Many thanks for the laughs Victor.
ReplyDeleteAll the best Jan
We all need a little laughter in our lives, Jan. God bless you always.
DeleteMy Sweetie sings in the choir and I help the choir by not singing. It sounds like your wife should be with me.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea, Mimi.
DeleteGod bless you.