Lies and Untruths

 

Some readers have written to me saying they don't believe everything I write here. They think I make it all up and tell lies.

Me? Telling lies? I am wounded and hurt beyond belief. It is all true I tell you. I have never told a lie in my life. All stories are true.

Like the time I was abducted by aliens from outer space and they gave me a tour of their spaceship.

Like when I was in France and I saw a ghost in the aubergine where I stayed. (That's a small hotel in French). 

Or when in Paris and a man jumped into the river and was in Seine at the time.

Or when a crocodile knocked on my door and was searching for his girl-friend.

Or when I found a snail on my doorstep and to save him from being crushed I picked him up and put him in the bushes a few feet away. A week later he knocked at my door and said, "What's the great idea throwing me in the bushes?" 

It is all true, I tell you. Just click on the links above to check that it is all factually true.