Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the
impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something you've forgotten?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: Where did the accident take place?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: Constable, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your counsellor?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
A: Ok.
Q: What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
NOTE: These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court."
...Victor, never lose your sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteI'll try not to, Tom.
DeleteGod bless.
Too funny and to think these were actually asked in court. I know you’re not allowed to laugh in court but I would imagine it was hard not to.
ReplyDeleteYes, these were all genuine responses in Court.
DeleteGod bless, Debby.
I loved 'em all, but still to me the best is:
ReplyDeleteTell me something you have forgotten!
fun read, thanks, Sherry laughed, and that is a good sign.
Love from our ack yard....
Laughing is good for the soul, Jack. It keeps us young.
DeleteGod bless you and Sherry. Best wishes.
Like Tom says...never lose your sense of humor. You make my day and your post always put a smile on my face.
ReplyDeleteI try my best to entertain my readers, Shug; as well as giving them something to think about. What they think about is of course their own business.
DeleteKeep smiling; and God bless.
PS: This is true, I asked Sherry her birthday once, her answer Nov 6th, I did ask the year and she gave that answer you show EVERY YEAR, tru dat....
ReplyDeleteSherry has obviously a great sense of humour. A valuable quality these days.
DeleteGod bless you and her, Jack.
These are absolutely hilarious, Victor. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you liked them, Martha.
DeleteGod bless always.
That's an excellent book! Thanks for sharing the excerpts!
ReplyDelete