The Times (and Clocks) they are a changing.

 

On Sunday, in the UK, the clocks are to be moved one hour forward. In the Autumn they are moved backwards again. There are many reasons put forwards (or backwards) for this. Some say it is to have lighter mornings, lighter evenings, to help the flowers grow in Spring, to encourage Spring onions to grow, to alleviate constipation, and many other reasons and explanations.

I asked an expert friend of mine who is in the know ... in the real know ... and he said that the reason the clocks are changed twice a year is simply to annoy people. No other real reason. It is just to give people something to do, and to get them to talk about it and whilst they're doing so, it keeps their minds off other things happening around them. Like having to take the trash out or feeding the birds ... to the cats.

One thing that does annoy me is ... why do they always change the clocks at 2:00 in the morning? I am fed up having to stay awake all night and then change the clocks at 2:00 am. Why not change them at noon? Or make it more interesting, change the clocks at 7:36pm and 20 seconds? That way everyone will take notice and have to be punctual to change their clocks at the precise time.

I wrote to the authorities about it and they ignored me. I am not appreciated in my own time, (9:16:54am), or at any time for that matter.

My expert friend told me that this is the last time our country will change the clocks forwards. 

Next year they will change the day forward instead. So instead of Sunday at 2:00am, it will suddenly become Monday. Immediately, Saturday will be followed by Monday. No need for us to change all the clocks in our house because the day will have moved forwards 24 hours instead. Whilst everyone in the world is still on Sunday we'll be on Monday.

Once again, Britain will lead the world. 

The day in the calendar will change too. For example, (using today's calendar), whilst the whole world will be on 27 March, Britain would be on the 28th. 

And for ever Britain will be one day ahead of the whole world. We will know things before everyone else because we'll be one day ahead of the rest. 

No longer will the Australians celebrate New Year's Day first with fireworks and drinking Foster's lager beer. 

We in Britain will be celebrating a whole 24 hours before the Australians and everyone else. We'll get to the beer first my friends!

Change.

A very rich woman in hospital in intensive care dies for a few seconds. She sees herself leave her body in a near death experience and meets God in Heaven. “Is that it?” she asks Him, “Am I dead?”

“No,” says God, “you will live for many more years yet!”

She recovers in hospital and is well again. She is so cheerful that she decides to improve herself. She gets plastic surgery done on her face, loses some weight, gets her hair re-styled and dyed a different colour, gets a new set of stylish clothes and looks terrific once again.

A few days later she is hit by a bus and killed instantly.

When she meets God she complains, “I thought you said I’ll live for many years yet!”

God replies, “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you after the make-over!”

When we look in the mirror, do we like what we see?

Is there anything about us we would like to change?

I don’t mean physical characteristics, but things about our character and personality. A little kinder perhaps, more generous, less glum and moody and a bit more hopeful and joyful.

Dear Lord, please help to change me into someone you recognize and like.