Have you ever wondered?

 

Have you ever wondered why the earth spins round on itself, and indeed spins around the sun? Other planets too spin around on themselves and the sun.

How do they do this, and why? If you pick an orange high up in your hand and let go, it will fall to the ground. It will not spin on itself and around the light bulb hanging from the ceiling.

So how does the earth do this?; and continue to do it for millions of years without stopping?; albeit some people say it is slowing down; (perhaps a bit like you when you wake up in the morning).

My scientist friend said it is to do with the flow of time - whatever that is. He said that as time flows by it makes things spin, like the earth and other planets. It also make them go round the sun. I didn't understand a word he said; my head is still spinning, but not me.

Also, did you know that deep inside the earth as a planet it is very hot; hotter than hell it seems. So I asked, how can it be hot, and what is burning in there, and where is the oxygen coming from to sustain all this burning for millions of years.

My friend said there is no need for oxygen. The heat is the result of pressure. The earth crust, (that's where we are all standing or I am leaning against the bar), is pressing into the centre to keep the whole planet intact. All this pressure is creating heat which stays inside the planet - or comes out sometimes from volcanoes. Apparently we can use this heat in something called geothermal. You drill a hole on the crust of the earth, pump cold water down and it brings up steam under pressure which you use to turn turbines and make electricity.

Oh ... and another thing. How come we are standing on the crust of this planet and we don't fall off? Is it magnetism. Are we stuck on earth because the earth is a magnet and we eat spinach which is made of iron? Or is it gravity? When you drop that orange is it magnetism or gravity that pulls it down to the ground?

I have spent many a sleepless night in Seattle trying to fathom out all these questions. I hope you do the same.

And one more thing. Why are pizzas round, and they come in square boxes, and you cut them into triangles? To defy science, I now cut them into long rectangular strips.

So there!

It's too fast

 

I've been thinking about this logically. See if you agree with me.

The circumference of the Earth at the Equator, is just under 25,000 miles - let's call it 24,000 miles.

If I were to stand on the Equator facing East, (because the Earth turns from left to right - from West to East), then it would take a whole 24 hours for me to be back round to the same point where I started as the Earth revolves one revolution.

So in effect, if we divide 24,000 miles by 24 hours, we can say that by standing there facing East I am travelling at 1000 miles an hour; and my hat would blow off.

I have also calculated that over the years there have been about 120 billion people on this planet since as far back as my calculator can count. This does not include animals, birds, fishes and plants. Just people. All these people and creatures have not left Earth. When they die they are either buried or cremated but they do not leave the planet. 

So it follows, (according to my calculations), that the Earth is getting heavier and it should in fact slow down in its speed of revolutions. And the time will come when it will stop altogether. When this happens one side of the earth will be too hot facing the sun whilst the other side will freeze its pants off.

But right now, the Earth seems to be going faster not slower. Here's some proof:

Do you realise that COVID was about six years ago? It hardly seems like yesterday!

Look at other world events - count how long ago they happened and then wonder how time flies and how fast the world is going round.

Think about that new dress you just bought. It is out of fashion before you have worn it twice.

And the garden gate and fence need painting again. It hardly seems two years since you last painted them. 

We are already through two months of the New Year and Christmas only ten months away.

No sooner does one week start than it is already over.  

I asked a zoologist friend of mine who specialises in the digestive system of cockroaches to explain it all to me. 

He said that this is because with social media and so many means of communications too many things are happening on the globe at the same time. In the Olden Days when people had no communications the only change they had was the traffic lights going from red to green. Those with no traffic lights had no change at all in their lives. 

These days with 24/7 communications there is something happening all the time somewhere on the planet and it is on all the NEWS media instantly even before it happens.

Note how Australians celebrate the New Year before everyone else. This did not happen in Olden Days because we had no radios and TVs to watch it happening.

So because too many things are happening at once all the time, then time itself is moving faster to accommodate all these things happening.

Think about this logic again:

Because too many things are happening at once all the time, then time itself is moving faster to accommodate all these things happening. 

So slow down. Don't have fast foods. Try a casserole that takes ages to cook. And don't tell us about it or anyone else. The less news we share the slower life gets, (or seems to). 

Go back to the days when you had to get off your chair to change the channels on your TV. Or better still; take your TV with you in bed.

Or take your pet with you in bed. 

I did that once. I took my pet to bed with me. The next morning the bed was soaking wet and my goldfish died.

Know your planet

 

OUR PLANET EARTH.

Earth is the third planet from the Sun and is the largest of the terrestrial planets. The Earth is the only planet in our solar system not to be named after a Greek or Roman deity. The Earth is the only known planet to support life - not necessarily intelligent life.

The Earth’s rotation is gradually slowing. This deceleration is happening almost imperceptibly, at approximately 17 milliseconds per hundred years. At this rate the Earth will one day stop totally and one half will be always daylight whilst the other half will be dark with all night parties 24/7. 

Earth has a powerful magnetic field. This phenomenon is caused by the nickel-iron core of the planet, coupled with its rapid rotation. This field protects the Earth from the effects of solar wind. Be careful if you take minerals tablets in your diet, especially iron, as you may get stuck to the Earth and unable to move. This happens a lot to people with a magnetic personality.

70% of the Earth’s surface is covered in water. When astronauts first went into the space, they looked back at the Earth with human eyes for the first time, and called our home the Blue Planet. And it’s no surprise. 70% of our planet is covered with oceans. So there is no need to add water or ice to your whisky. A large percentage of whisky and other drinks is water anyway.

Earth doesn’t take 24 hours to rotate on its axis. It’s actually 23 hours, 56 minutes and 4 seconds. This is the amount of time it takes for the Earth to completely rotate around its axis; astronomers call this a sidereal day. This is because the Earth is putting on weight and gets heavier each year and is slowing down. Very much like an overweight person takes longer to turn round when pirouetting.  

A year on Earth isn’t 365 days. It’s actually 365.2564 days. It’s this extra .2564 days that creates the need for leap years. That’s why we tack on an extra day in February every 4 years. On average, people born on 29 February don't necessarily live longer than the rest of us. 

The Earth is not actually round in shape. In fact, it is geoid. This simply means that the rounded shape has a slight bulge towards the equator. So what causes this geoid shape? This happens solely because the rotation of the Earth which causes the bulge around the equator. If, like me, you don't care about this; just ignore it and read on.

Only 3% water of the earth is fresh. The other 97% is salted. Of that 3%, over 2% is frozen in ice sheets and glaciers. Means less than 1% fresh water is found in lakes, rivers and underground. Save water - drink whisky neat!

The Earth tilts at roughly 66 degrees. So do I after a few whiskies.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

The Earth's surface is 70% water. That water is un-carbonated. Therefore, the Earth is flat.

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What's the fastest liquid on earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.

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Two aliens are flying near earth

The first one says, "The dominant life form here have developed satellite based nuclear weapons."
The second one says, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first one says, "I don't think so, they have it aimed at themselves."

============== 

Aliens visit Earth. They come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English.

Obviously, all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it's the Pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?"
 

"You mean JC?", responds the alien. "Yeah, we know Him! He's the greatest, isn't He? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok".

Surprised, the Pope follows up with: "He visits every year?! It's been over two millennia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!"
 

 The alien sees that the Pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize. "Maybe He likes our chocolate better than yours?"
 

 The Pope retorts, "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?"
 

The alien says "Yea, when He first visited our planet we gave Him a huge box of chocolates! Why? What did you guys do?"

Puzzle in my head

 

I have a puzzle in my head which has turned my world upside down. Maybe you clever people can help me.

The circumference of the Earth at the Equator is 40,000 kilometres. So if you take a piece of string and place it all round the Earth at the Equator it will be 40,000 kilometres long.

Now imagine if, instead of putting the string on the Equator you put it 16 centimetres above the Equator all around the Earth. For example, every few feet you place a stick 16 cms high on the Equator and then place the string on top of it.

It would look like this:

The Earth is the black circle. And the string is the red circle floating 16 cm away above the Equator.

So my question is: How much MORE string do you need? The original length on the Equator was 40,000 kilometres of string. Now you are 16cms away, how much MORE string do you need?

Watch this film and the answer will be revealed:

The answer is that you will only require about ONE METRE of extra string. Just ONE METRE.

Here's how it works. To calculate the circumference of a circle, multiply the diameter of the circle with π (pi). pi (π=3.14).

Imagine a circle 32 cms in diameter, (16 + 16 = 32 cms). 32 multiplied by 3.14 (pi) = 100.48 cms = about 1.5 metres of extra string required.

What if ...

What I am about to say may sound a little complicated, but please have patience with me, and tell me what you think.

When we look at a globe, or a map, we are accustomed to seeing the USA, Britain and Europe in the Northern hemisphere, and Australia and New Zealand and other countries in the Southern hemisphere. We recognise the North and South poles.

But what if the world, in real life, is upside down and we do not know it?

Let me explain.

Imagine the world is a big ball hanging there in mid-air in a big expanse we call space. Imagine space as a huge large box. A massive box filled with earth, moons and other planets. All hanging in mid-air and spinning round.

The earth is spinning from left to right, giving us the impression that the sun rises from the right if we are facing North. But in effect the sun does not rise at all. It is in one stationary point and it is our spinning that makes us think it rises from the East.

East is just a word we invented. We could have called it something else. We could have called North, Norma, and South, Suzanne for all it matters.

By the way, and just as an aside, my uncle Ernest discovered the East Pole. It was somewhere on the equator but because the earth kept spinning he could not quite locate it.

Anyway, as I was saying ... imagine the big box we call space is itself upside down and all its content is upside down. The earth would look like this.

And we would not know it. We would still be living on earth like normal. It would probably spin from right to left, but because we don't know it, we would still see the sun rise from what we call East.

I know some people would say that when we send rockets into outer space the astronauts see the earth with North at the top. But for all we know, the spaceship could be travelling upside down and the people inside it don't realise it. For in outer space there is no up or down. It is one big huge box and regardless of how people are travelling in the box there is no real up or real down.

It is just space. And we and the whole earth is in it. And all the planets. All, upside down.

Which explains why some people get headaches.

Where's Einstein when you need him?

OK ... settle down now and listen up ... I am looking for an Einstein brain amongst you to help me solve some very difficult problems.

I am writing a scientific book explaining Einstein's Theory of Relativity in conjunction with the flow of time versus space and the curvature of the space time continuum in relation to gravity.

Try saying that with a mouthful of marshmallows!

Pay attention and I'll try to make this simple both for you and me.

If I were in an open top car driving fast my wig would fly off. As I don't wear a wig, it's all my real hair folks, the chances are that my hat will fly off.

OK ... got that? Hold on to that thought.

Now then, the circumference of the earth at the equator, is just under 25,000 miles - let's call it 24,000 miles.

If I were to stand on the equator, (say in Ecuador), facing East, (because the earth turns from left to right - from West to East),  then it would take a whole 24 hours for me to be back round at the same point where I started as the earth revolves one revolution.

So in effect, if we divide 24,000 miles by 24 hours, we can say that by standing there facing East I am travelling at 1000 miles an hour.

Why doesn't my hat blow off? Why does it fly off when driving a car at say 100 miles an hour but not at 1000 miles an hour? Where's Einstein when you need him?

And if I stood at the North pole, right at the top of the world, I would spin round ever so slowly and get back to the original point where I started in 24 hours - and I'd be very tired standing all this time without a toilet break.

However, if I stood at the South pole, right at the bottom of the world, all the blood would rush to my head because I would be upside down.

If you don't believe me then try this experiment. Take a tennis ball and stick a pin on its equator. Now stick another pin on its North Pole. Revolve the ball from left to right and you will notice that the pin on the equator is travelling faster than the pin on the North Pole is revolving around itself. You will also notice that you have ruined a perfectly good tennis ball. Serves you right for listening to my crazy advice!

Now Einstein had many other theories which I am trying to simplify in my book. And where indeed your help is needed in explaining them.

It is believed that Einstein said that nothing is faster than the speed of light. This is in fact wrong. It was not him but it was a German physicist called Max Planck. His full name is Karl Ernst Ludwig Marx Planck -  but let us call him Max Planck for short. This should not be confused with Max Factor who are also in the business of slowing down time by making women look much younger than they are. 

So ... if we imagine I am in my car standing still, not driving. If I switch on the car headlights; the light will take a tiny infinitesimal period of time to travel from the car to be seen far off at another place in the distance. The speed the light travels from my car to that distant place is known as the speed of light.

Now then ... imagine I am driving the car at 100 miles an hour, and I switch on the headlights. Is the speed of light still the same as when I was standing still or is it 100 miles faster?

And is my hat still on my head or has it blown off?

And if I was driving East on the equator will my speed be 100 miles an hour or 1000 miles plus 100 miles an hour? And would I fall in the water as I run out of land to drive on?

Did you also know that Einstein contradicted Isaac Newton and said there is no such thing as gravity. Obviously he had never been kicked out of bed for watching the sports channel instead of being amorous with his wife!

Finally, my friends, I would like your help in explaining Einstein's Theory of Relativity. As you know, he said that the richer you are the more relatives will turn up at your funeral. Which begs the question; is it worth going to anyone's funeral if these people will not be around to come to yours?

NOTICE 

No tennis balls have been harmed in the writing of this post - 

except the ones you ruined by sticking pins in them.

An up-date on Cosmology

I don't want to be alarmist. This article is factual and true. I have checked all the facts in a scientific book which I am writing.

Not to put too fine a point, let me state here and now that the earth is getting heavier. And like most of us, as we get heavier, and somewhat long in age, we tend to slow down. Now, this may not have a great effect in humans, but in the case of the earth it has very serious and dire effects indeed.

Let me explain. Why is the earth getting heavier? Why is it slowing down?

Let's think about it. Over the years, millions and millions of people have been born, grew up and died. When they die, they either get buried or cremated. Either way, their remains do not leave the earth. They stay on it. Add to this the number of animals, birds and fishes who have also been born and died; and also the number of plants and trees which grew from tiny seeds to huge forests and then got cut down, made into furniture, ships, building materials and what have you; and you'll realise that all these are also added to the earth's weight over the years.

Nothing on earth has ever left earth and not come back. Except of course all the satellites we have out there in space which we can exclude from our calculations.

So in effect, the earth has been putting weight over the years. And as it gets heavier, the earth slows down too.

Ordinarily, we believe the earth goes round once every twenty four hours. But this is not strictly accurate. As it slows down, it takes the earth longer to go round full circle around itself.
 
Have you heard of the leap second? This is an extra second which the experts add to the clock every now and then to account for the earth slowing down as it spins around itself. The "World clock", as it where is adjusted by experts to account for this slowing down. And we either adjust our own watches manually every now and then, or those of us with self-adjusting watches and clocks will not notice that the change has been made centrally by the world time-keepers.

But that's not all. Also, as it gains weight, the earth is taking longer to go round the sun. Normally we believe it takes the earth a whole year to go round the sun. But again, this is not strictly accurate. We have all heard of leap year when we add an extra day to the year; but it seems, according to my calculations, that we should be adding more than just a day every four years because the earth, as it gets heavier and slower, is taking more than a year to go round the sun.

Let us visualise it another way. Let us assume you are on the dance floor and you pirouette around all by yourself, (this means spinning round on the spot in French - it sounds more classy and makes me look learned).

Let us now imagine that as you continue to pirouette around yourself you also move around the whole circumference of the dance floor. (Imagine it is a circular dance floor, not a rectangular or square one - just work with me for a moment, will you?)

Let us now imagine that as you pirouette around yourself and around the dance floor you are also eating pizzas, burgers, cakes, gateaux and whatever else you can imagine. (I am imagining mayonnaise).

In time, you will get fatter and fatter and heavier and you will slow down. Both in your pirouetting and in going round the dance floor. You might even bump into something or another.

What does all this mean? I hear you ask. (Well ... ask it then!)

OK ... I'll tell you. Because the earth is getting heavier and fatter because of all the weight of dead people and animals and trees and so on over the years it slows down. In this slowing down, it may well lose it's normal trajectory and bump into other planets and stars.

As it gets slower it is exposed to the sun for much longer. Imagine someone lying naked on the beach thinking she's been there for an hour, whereas in fact she has been there for longer.

Oops sorry ... got distracted there. As the earth takes longer to spin around on itself, and longer to go round the sun; this means it is exposed to the sun's burning rays for that much longer.

Hence global warming. The melting of the ice cap. Raised sea levels. Floods and so on.

Now personally, I have no worries about rising sea levels, because if the sea rises and covers the land then more of us will live by the beach. And that's nice, isn't it?

Also, my calculations have shown that if the ice caps melt then the safest place to be is in Australia. Let me explain.

If the Northern polar cap melts then all the water will flood Europe and the Northern hemisphere. If the South Pole melts, the water will not rise up the globe towards Australia will it? It will drip down into space just like when you wash your hair out of the water tub. The water drips down not rise up!

And another thing I have worked out. Global warming has nothing to do with us burning the wrong fuel, and using too many cars and all that.

Global warming is caused by all the candles that we light. Candles create a lot of heat for no reason. Can you imagine how many candles are lit in the world at any one time? Candles in romantic settings in restaurants, at the dinner table at home, in the bath … I ask you … what is the purpose of candles in a bath tub? They are dangerous you know. What if you were to singe your hair, for instance?  Candles in churches ... candles on birthday cakes ... wherever you turn people are lighting candles. Now that’s a lot of unnecessary heat I tell you! That's what's causing global warming. Stands to reason, doesn't it? Ban all candles and global warming will stop.

As for the earth slowing down. I suggest when people die instead of burying them or cremating them we should just catapult them into space.