How was it for you?

 

It's amazing. You buy a product or service on the Internet and you suddenly get a lot of e-mails asking you what you thought of what you bought.

Did you like the product you bought? Was it what you expected? Were you exhilarated beyond exhilaration? Did the earth move for you? Would you recommend it to all your friends?

NO ... I would not recommend it to all my friends. One of my friends is a 94 years old lady and if I suggested this to her she'd probably report me to the police.

Why do Internet sales insist on sending those stupid e-mails? Imagine if other professions did that also. Your doctor or dentist asking you if you enjoyed the operation and would you recommend it to your friends. Depends on the operation, I suppose. Another friend of mine wanted breast enlargement. She had an operation where they removed excess fat from her rear and transplanted it in her breasts. Now whenever she stands she tips over forward.

I rarely respond to those e-mails anyway. Except once. I gave a 1* to a product. I bought a model of the Eiffel Tower and was disappointed that it did not lean to one side as expected. I put some chewing gum underneath two legs to rectify the problem.

Internet Problems

 

Hello ... I am phoning you because the Internet is not working again.

Yes Sir, checking your details ... for security purposes do you mind answering the pre-set questions recorded when you first opened the account with us? 

Yes ... go ahead ...

What is the most traumatic thing you ever saw?

My mother-in-law's legs!

Why is that?

She fell off a ladder head first into an open trash container. All I could see was her legs flapping about on top of the bin. I had to pull her out by her legs ... that was very traumatic I tell you.

May I have your Internet password please?

You're a fathead.

What? There's no need to be offensive, Sir.

No ... no ... that is my password ... you're a fathead ... all one word, no spaces, lower case letters ...

I see ... when did you change this password?

A few days ago when the Internet failed the first time and your guy could not fix it. It worked long enough for me to change the password then it failed.

I see ... do you use the Internet a lot?

Only to write my Blog. I have a few readers who visit from time to time and they'll notice if I don't post.

Do you have a fish tank in the same room where the computer is?

No ... why do you ask?

I do ... I find fish very relaxing as they swim peacefully to and fro. Do you like fish?

Only with French fries ...

There ... I think we've restored your Internet line at our end and it should work now. I advise you change your password though!

NOTE: Sorry folks ... Internet still intermittent. I shall try to visit your Blogs if I can. In the meantime, please pray for us. Thanx. God bless.