Were you there when it happened?

 

My grandfather was there and he tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the cinema.  

I was there when Barry Manilow gave an open-air concert in England. I'd managed to get hold of two rare tickets and took a young lady who liked him very much at the time. I remember the loudspeakers were too noisy and they did disturb my sleep.

I was also there when Elvis Presley met my milkman. It was in London. A group of us went to this up-market hotel for a business conference. As we tried to get in, some security people stopped us on the side-walk and said Elvis was coming out to leave in his limousine. Just then, a milk delivery van drew up outside the hotel. I recognised our milkman and he recognised me. I was surprised to see him since we lived in Scotland at the time. He must have had a big deliver route from Scotland to London.

Moments later Elvis got out of the hotel. He walked to the milkman and greeted him. He bought a bottle of milk and said, "I'm all shook up"; and was driven away in his limousine. 

Another event I was at last week is when my wife incinerated our Sunday roast. Burnt to a cinder it was. I don't blame her really. She learnt cooking at the local iron smelting foundry. She makes toast for the workers by shovelling slices of bread in the furnace.

Any momentous occasion you have been at?

So, what do you think?

 

I'd certainly appreciate your views on a few matters which have been the subject of discussion in our household as of late. We don't go out much these days. In fact the trash bins go out more often than us. We make sure they're back indoors before 10:00pm though. But that's another story. 

As I was saying; we were discussing having a new pet at home since our last goldfish died and I had him grilled on toast. There were all sorts of suggestions. Another dog, or cat. A hamster perhaps, a Guinea pig, or similar furry creature. How about a rabbit or a tortoise like we had years ago before they escaped together and ran happily into the sunset. Or something unusual like a snake, or cockroaches, or stick insects. We could have a whole branch of stick insects.

I maintained that choosing a pet should be done with consideration and it should be according to one's environment and ability and wherewithal to look after it. For example, you would not have a giraffe in an apartment because it would be difficult getting it in the elevator.

Whilst the discussion ensued I went to my office and decided to do a jigsaw instead. I always loved jigsaw puzzles. I remember my very first one when I was a child consisted of two pieces. It was a picture of a donkey painted on two pieces. I had so much difficulty deciding how to put them together to complete the puzzle. I was only ten at the time.

By the way, did you know that jigsaw puzzles are not cut by a jigsaw? These days they paint the picture on cardboards and then a heavy mould with all the cutting shapes is pressed on the picture and cuts all the pieces. There is in fact a very limited number of different moulds. So you could in fact buy two separate puzzles and find that the shapes in both packs are similar because they've been cut by the same mould. Not many people know that!

If you have my kind of imagination you could complete both puzzles mixing pieces from both boxes and you get a complete mess in both pictures. Yet you've competed both puzzles.

I hate it when you leave a half-completed puzzle and someone else comes and moves the pieces for you. And puts pieces in a different place because they thought the cloud should be here rather than there; or whatever.

To stop them doing this I put a little glue on the back of each piece as I put it in place. The problem is we now have a 1000 pieces puzzle stuck on the dinner table and my wife is not happy.

Some companies on the internet will make a personal jigsaw puzzle for you. You send them a photo and they make you a jigsaw puzzle with your photo on it. Either 500 or 1000 pieces. Quite unique.

I sent them a photo of our dead goldfish before it was grilled and eaten. They also will print T shirts with a personal photo if you wish. I asked for that too.

We now have a T shirt stuck with glue on the back of the armchair. I got fed up with people moving it.

My wife is not happy. Again!

So, what do you think?