Too Hot for church!!!

  

 

I know it's been too hot here lately

 

with temperatures reaching 37*C (99*F) 

 

but really ...

 

This is too much. 

 

And in church too!

 

As soon as I saw them I rushed to the front

 

to tell them to cover up. 

 

What do you think?

 

Please comment below  

 

Hot Hot Hot

It's been very hot here lately. No doubt it's the same where you are, unless you happen to be in the North or South Pole sitting on a block of ice taking photos of the environment around you. In which case you'll develop polaroids.   

Anyway, it's been about 33*C in the shade over here. I stayed out of the shade. 

The weather announcer in a bikini said it'll get warmer. I don't think weathermen should wear bikinis, do you? In fact no men should wear a bikini in public. Nor shorts. Over here men wear shorts and sandals and socks. Can you imagine? Sandals with socks.

When it gets this hot people find it difficult to breeze and can get dizzy. This is because the oxygen molecules in the air are further apart when it's hot. So your nose is out there hunting the molecules before someone else gets them first. 

The population of the earth is over 8 billion people. That is not counting animals and birds and insects also searching and breathing the oxygen molecules in the air. If the world gets any more crowded, and it gets even hotter, only the tall people will survive because they'll catch the few molecules first as they fall down from the sky. Short people will be in trouble because they can't keep their noses out of peoples' private business.

Scientists predict that the human body will evolve and we'll grow bigger noses to the point we'll all look like elephants. We'll point our trunks up to the sky and compete for the few oxygen molecules floating about. This will make it difficult for those wearing glasses because they won't fit over the bridge of your trunk.

People with turned up noses, like Miss Piggy or that woman in church who looks down at me in disdain, are in further risk, because if it rains they'll probably drown.     

Experts say this is a sign of the end of time. The planet is getting warmer, this will melt the ice cap, the sea levels will go up ... and so on ... and on. Personally, I think that if the sea levels go up then more of us will live near the beach and house prices will rocket up.

Here in the UK it got so hot there was a shortage of ice cream. 

The birds were using a jack-hammer to dig worms from the ground and the chickens in our back yard were laying fried eggs this morning. In our pond the fish were parboiled and ready to eat. The trees were so parched they were fighting over our dog.

I went to the beach to cool off. Have you noticed that when wearing a bikini, women reveal 94% of their body? I was too polite and only looked at the covered parts.

Which raises another point: Is it OK for Christian women to wear bikinis? Or any swimsuits? What does the Bible say about dressing modestly?

How about men in tiny shorts and swimming trunks? What is the acceptable attire on the beach for a Christian? (I wear a three-piece pin-striped suit and a bowler hat.)

How about nudist beaches? Can a Christian be a naturist? (I shower at home fully clothed.)

I think all this heat is melting my brain.

It's hot in this heat

 

It has been very hot in the UK lately as I am sure it is elsewhere. Some days it was over 40 Degrees C in the shade. I was clever though and did not stay in the shade.

The weather forecast woman on TV said it's been the hottest day "since records began".

This set me thinking ... when did records begin?

Apparently a long long time ago a man wrote down on a piece of paper, "Phew ... it's hot today. Records have begun."

The next day, he wrote on another piece of paper "Wowie and double phew ... it's been even hotter today. It's been the hottest day since records began yesterday."

This went on for some time with the man writing every day how hot, cool or cold it was.

Then, years later, another man called Thermo, invented the thermometer and proper records really began. 

Anyway, as I was saying, it was so hot today that the birds were using a jackhammer to dig worms from the ground. 

The chickens in our back yard were laying fried eggs this morning.

I decided to go to the beach to cool off. The fish in the sea were already parboiled. 

On the way there I noticed a couple of parched trees fighting over a dog.

Have you noticed that when wearing a bikini, women reveal 94% of their body? I was too polite and only looked at the covered parts.

Which raises another point: Is it OK for Christian women to wear bikinis? Or any swimsuits? How about men in tiny shorts and swimming trunks? What is the acceptable attire on the beach for a Christian? (I wear a three-piece pin-striped suit and a bowler hat).

How about nudist beaches? Can a Christian be a naturist? (I shower at home fully clothed).

How are you coping in the hot weather where you are?