Showing posts with label shark. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shark. Show all posts

Friday, 24 June 2022

Natural History Lesson

OK, let's pay attention. Today's Natural History Lesson is about animals and insects and the like. We start with the meerkat or as some people call them, the prairie dog.

You can tell straight away from the photo above which one is the female. She is telling him off already and we haven't even started. He's apologising not knowing what he's apologising for.

The meerkat (Suricata suricatta) is a small mongoose type creature which lives in colonies. It is characterised by a broad head, large eyes, a pointed snout or nose, long legs, a thin tapering tail, and a brindled coat pattern. If you don't know what brindled mean look it up. I did after I wrote it here.

Like in many colony animals, (e.g. the lion), the male is in charge of the whole colony. In case you don't know what a lion looks like here is a photo of two females hunting to bring food for the male.


On second look, these don't look much like lions do they? What do you think? The zebra looks authentic enough but the other two creatures are pretending to be lions.

Anyway, as I was saying before you interrupted me; the meerkat lives in a colony and the male is the leader. He fights off other males and the loser leaves the colony. However, at night the females feel sorry for the losing male and they leave the colony and go to sleep with him to keep him company. That is how they refresh the gene pool and keep it healthy. The winning male knows nothing about this because he does not read this Blog.

Meerkats are good teachers. They teach their young for hours on end and increase the difficulty of the lesson to ensure the young have learnt. First they offer their young a dead scorpion and teach him how to fight. When he has mastered that, they give him a live scorpion without the sting and get him to fight it. Eventually they give the young live scorpions and supervise him to ensure he comes to no harm in the fight.

Having said that, meerkats make poor driving instructors. This is because their feet do not reach the pedals of the car. They work in teams with one or two meerkats controlling the pedals whereas another looks from the windscreen where the car is going, and yet one more steers the driving wheel. However, despite their teamwork they still have not managed to drive safely because the females do not know right from left!

(Oh Ho ... there'll be some comments about this).

Let's now move on to insects. The centipede. Did you know that the centipede when it is chased by a predator it detaches one of its legs and throws it at the predator? The predator stops to eat the leg whilst the centipede runs away to safety. Unfortunately, many centipedes die shortly afterwards when they return to retrieve their shoe.

The cricket chirps at night depending on the temperature. If it is very hot it could chirp 30 or 40 times a minute. If it is a little cooler it would chirp perhaps 15 to 20 times a minute. In very cold conditions it does not chirp at all because it is frozen out of its tiny mind.

Also, did you know that silverfish can live for two to eight years unless you hit them hard with your shoe.

And now we turn to birds. The flamingo for instance. Do you know why it stands on one leg? Because if he lifts his leg he would fall.

Storks look like flamingoes only a different colour. In some cultures it is believed that storks deliver babies when they are born. 

When I was born the nurse looked at me and slapped my father in the face. For a month afterwards my dad kept throwing stones at storks. They said I was so ugly the doctors tried to get the hospital exorcised. My parents tried to get me exchanged for a washing machine because theirs had just broken down.

As I grew up, like the meerkats, my father tried to teach me to swim. He used to take me out at sea in his boat and lower me in the water. I always got to the shore before the sharks.

That's all for now folks! Keep smiling and the world smiles with you. Oh ... one final thing before I forget ... did you know that when a whale breaks wind it shoots forwards at speed at least ten miles ahead! (Don't try this at home everyone).

Friday, 21 February 2020

Insects and all that ...

Once upon a time there was a moth which flew in through a chiropodist's open window and said, "Doctor, please help me out!"

"Of course," said the chiropodist, "which window did you come in?"

"No ... no ..." said the moth, "I meant I need your medical help ... I am depressed ... always sad and depressed ..."

"Sorry I can't help you," said the medic, "I am a chiropodist. Not a psychiatrist, or psychologist, or hypnotist or any similar medic that can help you with depression".

"Yes, I know," said the depressed moth.

"Why did you come in and see me then?" asked the medic.

"Because the light was on ..." replied the moth.

Oh well ... it made me laugh anyway.

Reminds me of another story. One day as I was going to work I noticed a snail on my doorstep. I nearly trod on it and killed it. To save it from a mishap I picked it up and threw it in a bush some three feet away out of harm's way.

A week later the doorbell rang. I opened the door and the snail said, "What was all that about, throwing me in the bush?"

I hope this one made you smile. How about ...

The following day the doorbell rang again and there on my doorstep was a hammerhead shark. I invited him in to watch the football on TV. He said, "can't get in ... your door is not wide enough!"

I think you're a tough crowd today, but I'll continue ... I can go on all day until I get a smile from at least one of you.

The following day the doorbell rang continuously ... non-stop ... ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ... shall I go on? Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ...

I opened the door and there was this huge gorilla standing there. I said, "all right mate ... you can stop now!"

He said, "I can't ... my finger is stuck on your doorbell!"

Gorilla ... stuck ... come on now folks ... give me a break!

Did you know if you are having a picnic and you're bothered by wasps the best way to get rid of them is to hang a paper bag from a nearby tree? They'll think it is another wasps nest and they'll go away from its territory.

Make sure the paper bag does not have the shop's name on it. This will not fool the wasps.

The best place to have a picnic apparently is in a cemetery ... no body there to bother you.

I love animals ... don't you? I have spent a fortune on sick animals ... mainly sick horses and dogs. Mind you, I did not know they were sick when I placed a bet on them to win.

My parents used to make me walk the plank ... we did not have a dog.

We were very poor in them days. Did not even have the bare essentials. We used to tie a hedgehog to a stick and use it as a toilet brush.

Have you ever been swimming with dolphins? I never did. I'd like to go cycling with dolphins. If we humans can learn to swim I can't see why the lazy so and sos can't learn to cycle.

As a child I loved to observe ants on a sunny day with a magnifying glass. It's odd how they burst into flames. Instant combustion … it's more common than you think amongst ants!

I killed a cockroach whilst staying at a cheap hotel once. Within minutes my room was infested by cockroaches. They'd come for the funeral.

And finally ... a skunk running through the forest suddenly stops as the wind changes direction. He says, "Ah ... it's all coming back to me now!"

And really finally ... a hyena in the forest meets some monkeys and asks for their help. Apparently, every so often a lion attacks it and beat it black and blue. The monkeys agree to help. A little later the lion attacks the hyena in a ferocious fight. The monkeys all climb up a tree and watch.

Eventually, the lion has had enough fun and walks away, leaving the hyena torn to pieces.

"Why did you not help me?" the hyena asks the monkeys.

They replied, "You were laughing so much we thought you were enjoying it!"