Eating Healthy

I don't know what it's like where you happen to live, but over here in the UK we've been encouraged for some time by health experts to eat five portions of fruit and vegetables a day. This has lately been increased to seven portions a day because of inflation.

Personally, I think seven, or even five, portions of fruit and vegetables is far too much for anyone to take. Can you imagine munching on a carrot, an apple, a piece of broccoli or spinach, a banana perhaps, (that makes four) and a box of chocolates with fruit centers? That's only five! Still two more portions of this healthy food and I won't have any room for steak and french fries, or pizza or a burger in a large bun.

Obviously the thing to ask these health experts is what do they mean by a portion. Apparently it is the amount of fruit or vegetables which you can hold in the palm of your hand.

So having a large watermelon or a pineapple is OK then; is it?

But before we scoff at this advice given to us in order to lead long and healthy lives, let us look at the science behind the advice.

According to studies carried out by nutriologists and such like boffins the proof of healthy eating is overwhelming.

They had two groups of 50 people. One group of 50 was fed seven portions of fruits and vegetables daily for a period of five years; and the other group of 50 were totally deprived of these items for the same period.

At the end of the five years, out of the group who ate fruits and vegetables daily, two were hit by a bus and died, one drowned when he fell off a bridge, and another broke his leg when he fell off a ladder. The rest did not live any longer than those who did not eat fruits and vegetables, but it sure seemed like it.

Yet the scientists do not relent in their advice to eat fruits and vegetables.

They say the advantage of eating so much vegetation will make us live long enough for our families to despise us and put us in an old peoples' home.

And once there, the staff will care for us so that our relatives don't have to. And to humour us, the staff will no longer force us to have seven portions of fruits and vegetables daily; which will eventually shorten our longevity proving once again that scientists were right in recommending so much fruits and vegetables in our diets.

So there you are. You can either accept experts' advice on this subject or not. Personally, I think it is dangerous to read too much between the lines, especially if you are standing in a railway station.

What are your secret habits?

What are your secret habits?

Before you switch off, or go away, let me quickly explain that I am not asking you what you do in the privacy of your home, (unless you WANT to tell me).

No ... I am asking you something completely different, and I would like your honest answers.

Look at the cartoon above. The wife wants something whereas the husband is busy with something else entirely different.

I'm sure many of you have had such occasions in your lives.

If I am to be a good host of this Blog I need to know what you enjoy reading here and what you do not. It is pointless me offering you tea and biscuits if you want a burger and beer. We drink beer warm in the UK, but for you I'll put some in the fridge.

So please answer these questions as honestly as you can.

1     Do you always comment when you visit here?

2     I reply to each comment made, and pray for that person too. Do you return to check on my replies?

3     Do you ever click on the suggested "You might also like" links at the bottom of the post?

4     Do you ever click the tabs at the top of the page to see what you might be missing?

5     Do you click on the links on the right hand side of this column?

That's it !!! I think that's all for now. Thank you for your answers.

Oh one more thing ... in case we should meet, do you prefer beer or wine?

Choice? If only ...

 

A discussion the other day: What if you could eliminate one characteristic out of human nature, which one would it be?

Someone suggested anger. Someone else said envy … jealousy, hatred, prejudice, fear … and so on.

What if this were possible; what would you get as a result?

A robot. Someone pre-programmed by you with whatever emotions you feel should stay in and which ones taken out.

But God decided differently.

He gave us all these emotions, both positive and negative ones, and with them He gave us a responsibility.

The responsibility to keep them under control and to use them properly.

Even some negative emotions have a purpose if controlled properly and used in the right circumstances. If we didn’t have anger we would not be so disposed to stand up against evil. Fear keeps us from being foolhardy and reckless at times.

So there you have it: negative and positive emotions and a responsibility to control them.

Phew … I’m suddenly tired with all these responsibilities!

Visiting my Ancestor

In Britain we have many castles. Not just up North and in Scotland, but also in every part of the country whether East and West or North and South. Some are still standing as in the photo above, whilst others are either just the outer shell of what was once a castle, or just a pile of bricks and stones beaten down by years of history.

Lately I visited a castle where purportedly my ancestor, the medieval King and Knight, Baron Sir Richard the Lion Liver, once lived. Click the crest on the right to learn more about him.

As soon as I entered the castle I was greeted by this armour which I understand he once wore when in battle, and also at the many jousting tournaments which he always won.

Note the lovely colourful plumage at the top of the helmet. Which explains why I always wear a cowboy hat with a feather on the side.

In one of the castle rooms we entered there was a table with two skulls side by side in a glass case. One skull was small and the other one much larger. They belonged to my ancestor, Sir Richard the Lion Liver.

       Sir Richard as a young child.     Sir Richard as an adult years later.

In another room we saw where the Knights of Sir Richard's triangular table used to hang their coat of arms.

In yet another room there was this intriguing painting with a story about Sir Richard written below it.

 Apparently, years ago Sir Richard fell down the stairs after a night's drinking with his knights and hurt his back. For ages he was bent with pain and walked with a stick as in the painting above. Eventually, he was persuaded to go to Gherkin the Wizard for a cure. After about five minutes with Gherkin, he came out walking straight and proud as if nothing had ever gone wrong.

Everyone cheered and danced with joy believing it to be a miracle. Sir Richard explained it was no miracle at all. Gherkin the Wizard had given him a longer stick.

The following photo best explains a famous story about my ancestor Sir Richard the Lion Liver.

Look at the windows on the left how narrow they are and shaped like a cross. This is deliberate so that the soldiers inside the castle could shoot arrows with their acurate crossbows without being seen by the attacking army outside, or shot back by the enemies' bowmen.

One night Sir Richard came back after a night's drinking with his knights at the local pub. He found the front door, (on the right of the picture where the visitors are), locked shut and his wife had gone to bed in a huff ... or was it a minute and a huff? I can't remember.

Anyway, Sir Richard did not want to ring the door bell and wake up the dragon inside ... or his wife for that matter. So he asked one of his servants to enter the castle from the back door. Now Sir Richard was a very accurate shot with the crossbow, even after a lot of drinking. So he said to his servant that he would shoot an arrow from outside through the second narrow window you see on the left. The servant inside the room would pull the arrow to which was attached a string, which was in turn attached to a rope. He would pull the rope inside the window and tie it to the furniture securely so that Sir Richard could climb into the castle.

All worked relatively well. Sir Richard shot the arrow through the window and it hit the servant waiting inside the room in the leg. The servant stifled a painful cry so as not to wake up the dragon. He didn't much care for his master's wife anyway.

He then tied the rope to the furniture so that Sir Richard could climb up. Once up Sir Richard discovered that the window was too narrow for anyone to get in.

So he got down again and asked his servant to let him in through the back door.

If you've enjoyed this tale about my visit to the castle half as much as I have enjoyed telling it; then I have enjoyed it twice as much as you.

Here I am Lord

FATHER FRANCIS MAPLE

I have known Father Francis Maple for a number of years. He is a Capuchin Franciscan monk who joined the priesthood more than 50 years ago.

Father Francis has sung in public over the years (and still does) in malls, shopping centres and at his own concerts and has raised over £1m for charity. He has also written several books (sermons, cooking recipes, jokes), and has contributed (and still does) to many newspaper columns and Catholic newspapers and magazines. He spends a lot of time travelling throughout the UK leading Missions in various Catholic churches. Father Francis contributes articles and sermons from time to time to my Blog here as well as to the Community of Catholic Bloggers website.

He also publishes a Daily Homily HERE.

I have chosen today a song by Father Francis which reminds us all of our vocation to spread God's Word to everyone.

BEWARE OF TECHNOLOGY

"You know son, as your father, it is incumbent upon me to warn you when you do things wrong and all that ..."

"What do you mean?"

"Take your portable telephone gizmo that you have. I've read it is dangerous. A man at work the other day had one just like yours and he was watching something on the screen and fell off the ladder he did ... Kept going up and did not realise he had run out of ladder ..."

"Very funny, dad!"

"It's true boy. Also these contraptions emit bad things like microphone waves or something. They'll fry whatever little brain you got left. Like this thing you have always stuck to your ear."

"Dad, I have Bluetooth!"

"There you are then. It started already. You must see a dentist before it gets worse."

"Dad, it is called Bluetooth."

"I don't care what it's called boy. We didn't have it when we were young. Just the odd bit of tartar on our teeth, or a cavity every now and then. Not electro what's it illnesses like now. Also they let off magnets these gadgets. Magnetism gets out of them on your fingers when you touch the screen. It's even worse ... the magnet thingies fly off the screen and into you. Pretty soon when you get in the kitchen all the metal utensils will stick to you."

"Dad, you really don't understand about technology. It doesn't work like that. There are no little magnets and ..."

"Don't patronise me boy. I know more about technology than you'll ever know. Those table mats things, like the one you have, are just as bad!"

"They are called tablets! Mine is an Apple."

"An apple? When we were young that was a fruit, that was. You'll be telling me you have a blackberry next. Your grand-mother, may she rest in peace, used to make lovely apple and blackberry pies, she did. I'll tell you something else boy. There's no mention of technology in the Bible. When God told Moses to come up the mountain He gave him the ten commandments on real tablets of stone, He did. Not plastic tablets. They were well carved by a top class sculptor, I shouldn't wonder. God would have used the best of craftsmen to make His commandments; so they would last for ever. Mind you ... that careless Moses broke the first set didn't he, the clumsy oaf! But God had another set as a spare copy ..."

"Made on a photocopier, no doubt!"

"Don't be insulting, boy. Which reminds me ... that stupid microphone oven you got your mom in the kitchen. It's trash. It does not work. I put a few slices of bread the other day to make toast and they went round and round and were all soggy. Not toasty at all; like in the toaster."

"You did what? It's not meant to make toast. Why did you not use the toaster?"

"It was broke as well. The bread got stuck and I tried to get it out with a fork and got an electric shock! When we were young we used to make toast by holding the bread in front of the open fire."

"Are you against all form of modern technology dad? Shall I take away the washing machine too?"

"You might as well ... for all the good it's done. The other day I put my red shirt amongst the washing your mom put in and everything turned pink. She was furious you know. She blamed me instead of the machine, and withdrew her favors for at least a week ..."

"Poor dad ..."

"Don't mock me, boy. I know you're not listening and I might as well be talking to myself. I'll just go and watch the football on TV."

Dreaming ...

Once upon a time there was a man who always slept lying on his back and, whenever possible, wearing his spectacles on.

He wore his spectacles, or sometimes he kept his contact lenses on, because he claimed that by doing so he could see his dreams nice and clearly. Without his glasses the dreams were rather fuzy and out of focus.

He always tried to lay sleeping on his back and not move at all. Because if he turned to his side, left or right, his dreams would fall out of his ears and leave altogether.

He'd be sleeping on his back dreaming that he was on the beach with a beautiful lady wearing the smallest of bikinis and just as he smiled and lay down beside her comfortably on his side she would escape from his ear and he would lose the whole dream.

He tried a few times putting pieces of cotton wool in his ears to stop the dreams escaping. But this did not work, because now his dreams were totally silent. People in his dreams would move their lips but he could not hear what they were saying. It was very annoying especially when the lady in a bikini spoke alluringly to him and he could not make out what she was saying.

OK ... now that I got your attention, and you are possibly sitting there day-dreaming yourself, with or without your glasses on, let's get to the point ...

We often go through life with pre-conceived ideas and notions in our heads based on no fact or evidence whatsoever. We may have views about ourselves, the way we look, our background, our education, status in life or whatever. And this vision of us blurs the whole of our lives.

We feel we are not attractive enough. We are getting a little old perhaps and certain parts of our bodies are moving South where we'd rather they were not. We don't like the way we talk, our accent perhaps, our standard of education or the job we are doing.

Whatever our pre-conceived notion may be, often without reality, turns into a nightmare which blights our lives.

Let us now focus for a moment or two on this scenario I have painted, all too prevalent in many lives.

What do you imagine God thinks about us when we waste valuable time focussing on our imagined imperfections rather than delight in how wonderful we are?

Calling all readers !!! Calling all readers !!!

Something really strange happened to me the other day as I came back home from the shops. I parked my car in front of our house as usual and noticed that sitting there on an easy chair in my front garden was a man eating doughnuts.

I'm not sure what you would do in this situation, dear readers. Would you ignore him and get in the house? Would you ask him to leave? Reason with him perhaps; or ask him what's going on. He is after all tresspassing on your property. Would you call the police perhaps?

I approached him calmly and asked: "Why are you eating doughnuts in my front garden?"

He replied: "Because the shop ran out of cookies. I would have preferred cookies really. Do you have any?"

Of course I did not have any cookies, and neither would I have offered him any if I had them. I did not reply and entered the house to cool off and think about what to do next. I shut the door behind me and soon realised that the house was empty. Everyone had gone out. A quick check all round comfirmed that no one had entered the house, and there had been no break-in. It was just a man sitting on a chair in my front garden eating doughnuts.

I looked surreptitiously through the curtains and I saw the man get up from his folding chair; pick it up, go out from my front gate and leave down the street towards the left.

I don't know why, habit I suppose, or human nature, but I quickly got out of the house. Looked at the spot where he was sitting to make sure he was not there; and then went to the gate and looked down the street to make sure he was walking away with his chair in his hand.

I got back in the house and for the next half hour or so I kept checking through the curtains to see if he was back. I have not seen him since.

Which is why I am now asking you for some advice.

This Blog has been going on since 2009; and for the last six years or so I have included posts about various Christian issues, short stories about Father Ignatius, a character from my first book "VISIONS", (sorry couldn't resist the temptation to advertise - you can read more about my books on the right-hand column of this post and in the tabs at the top).

As I was saying ... this Blog has featured various Christian posts and Father Ignatius stories as well as humourous articles every  now and then to entertain you and keep you returning here. For which I am very grateful, by the way. Without you, I'd be writing to myself wouldn't I?

So I now need your advice please.

What would you like to see and read on this Blog? More Christian posts debating various issues? More Father Ignatius or humourous stories? Guest spots perhaps where I invite someone or other to write here. Famous people like ... oh ... I don't know!

Would you like more book promotions and give-aways?

How about videos? More generic You Tube videos with meaningful songs, or do you prefer videos made by myself like the ones in the tab above? Or none at all perhaps?

Would you be interested in deep philosophical or theological debates like "Why did God who created the whole universe and all that's in it needed a spare rib from Adam to create Eve?" "How did Noah manage to get two of each species in a boat without them fighting each other? How did he manage to clean all the deposits left by the animals after such a long period afloat? And why did he bother to save the wasps, and other annoying insects like mosquitoes?"

These and many other deep questions can be discussed here if you wish. Like, "Why is it that Donald Duck is always seen wearing just a jacket; yet when he comes out of the bath or shower he has a towel wrapped round his lower regions?"

Perhaps there are new features you'd like to see in this Blog? Or something old you'd like to see brought back - like my History series or my Art critiques? If so, tell me about it.

I look forward to your suggestions so that together we can make this Blog really worth reading.

Thank you and God bless.

Self-Confidence

It is said that Moses took 40 years to travel from Egypt through the desert to the Promised Land. Considering the distance involved this must have been incompetence to the highest degree … perhaps he was going round in circles.

I reckon that unbeknown to him, Mrs Moses was asking for directions secretly and, when appropriate, she pointed him in the right way to go.

Being a woman, she allowed him to take all the credit for getting there at last.

Moral of the story:

Never rely on what you think you know. Always consider the possibility that you may be wrong. (Especially if your wife tells you so).

Modern Samaritan

 

Once upon a time an elderly man was making his way home through the park after a long day at work. Some youths set upon him. They were carrying knives. They mugged him, injured him badly and left him lying in a pool of blood.

A while later a city gent happened to pass by. He looked at the bleeding man on the ground and thought: This may be a trap. If I stop to help him someone might come out from the bushes and attack me. I'd better hurry home.

And so he did.

A while more later another man happened to come along. He saw the elderly man on the ground and thought: I'd better pretend not to have seen him. If I stop and call the police and ambulance they will ask me a lot of questions. They will want a lot of information. I'll be a witness and I'll probably have to go to Court eventually to say what I saw. I really can't be bothered with all this. I'd better rush home.

And so he did.

A few minutes later a learned man came by. He had studied sociology, philosophy, and many other important subjects and he was now a famous professor at the local University whose opinion and views were often sought on matters of importance. He looked at the injured man on the ground and thought: Whoever did this needs help. They must be from an under-priviledged background and up-bringing. Poor souls!

And he hurried home thinking about modern society and decided to write a paper on crime and poverty.

Two thousand years after Jesus told a similar story, (Luke 10:25), life hasn’t changed so much in this world.

FATHER FRANCIS MAPLE

A hell of a question

There are times when children ask us questions which make us stop and think. Our answer needs to be well thought out and considered before our mouth is engaged into action.

Father Ignatius was at the local Catholic School for his usual Catechism class. This is what happened when a ten years old girl asked him her question.

“Father … is it OK to pray for those people in hell?”

The priest took off his spectacles and cleaned them of imaginary dust in order to gain some thinking time.

“Why do you ask?” he said gently.

“Well …” she hesitated, “we pray for the souls in purgatory so that God forgives them and they go to Heaven.

“Why don’t we pray for those in hell? They were bad when they were alive but now they are dead they are in hell for ever. I feel sorry for them!”

“It’s good of you to feel sorry for them,” replied the priest, “it shows a charitable spirit … it shows you’re very kind and considerate.

“But we must remember this. No one goes to hell by mistake.

“As you say, these people were bad when they lived and they had plenty of opportunities to be good and to do what God asks. They had many chances to repent and ask God to forgive them and to do good. But they disobeyed, time and again, and they turned their back on God.

“God is merciful and He forgives … but He is just too. Those who are in hell have sent themselves there by their behavior.”

Another child raised his hand and asked a question.

“But Father … Sister Josephine when she was here yesterday, she said that Jesus told us to love our enemies. He said to God to forgive them when they put Him on the Cross.

“The people in hell are the enemy of God. Why does God not forgive them? Does He not love them?”

Father Ignatius prayed silently for inspiration before answering.

“Of course He loves them” he replied after a short pause, “God loves everybody because they are His creations. I suspect He even loves those in hell and He is very sad that they are there.

“But there are times in life when people put themselves out of God’s loving nature.

“Let me explain it another way.

“Suppose your parents bought you a puppy for your birthday. You love that puppy very much and you play with him every day. But as he grows up he becomes a little threatening and he growls at everyone. One day he bites your hand. And he continues with this bad behavior to the point where you can’t come near him in case he bites you again.

“For your own safety, and that of others, your parents decide to take the dog away and put him in a Dog Rescue Shelter where he’s looked after by other people.

“It’s the same with us. God loves us all when we’re born and we’re babies. But as we grow up, some people turn against Him and become bad. No matter how often these people are told to do good they never ask God to forgive them and they continue to do bad things all their life.

“When these bad people die they go to hell because of what they have done … God still loves them. Just as you love your dog in the Dog Shelter!

“In fact I believe God grieves for those in hell. He’d rather the place was empty and we were all with Him in Heaven. But some people put themselves in hell by their bad behavior.”

“So do we pray for those in hell or not?” asked the original questioner.

“There is nothing wrong with praying,” Father Ignatius replied, “God will listen to your prayers, as He does all prayers, and will respond in an appropriate and just way. When you pray, say to God how sorry you are that there are people in hell, and ask Him to help you be good all your life.

“Every one of us, young and old, like me, must always pray that we do not give God reason to grieve by behaving badly and ending in hell.”

God's Protection

I saw an interesting nature programme on TV the other day. A wolf cub had been injured in the wild and abandoned by its mother. He was all alone, frightened, hungry and defenseless. Left there he would soon perish.

The TV crew and resident vet tried to capture him and send him to an animal hospital where he could be treated and looked after until he is strong enough to be released in the wild once again. Every time they approached the wolf cub he bared its teeth and attempted to bite his benefactors. Eventually, he was caught and taken to the hospital where, within weeks, he was well again.

When things go wrong in our lives we too tend to behave like that wolf. We are angry, we’re concerned, frightened even - about the future and about what's happening to us.

And we go on the attack. We believe that God has abandoned us, just like that she-wolf abandoned her cub. We blame Him for what's gone wrong, and we rebel against Him.

When we behave like that, we shut off a channel of communication with God.

When God is temporarily put aside, He doesn’t stop loving us; but we block His influence to do good in our lives.

Like the wolf cub, every time God tries to help us we bare our teeth in anger. Our behaviour is futile and un-productive.

The wolf did not realize that by being caught he’d soon improve his hopeless situation. But we should know better, and trust our Lord rather than lash out at Him without thinking.

“I will be with you always, to the end of time.” Matthew 28:20.

Life with God

Is your life exciting or is it mundane?

Not many of us spend our lives mixing with celebrities and enjoying the material luxuries that this world offers. For most of us life is a simple routine of work, bringing up the family, and a little leisure when we can fit that in. Some people can’t even afford this routine lifestyle, especially if money is short; they have no job or are in poor health.

Compare that to our spiritual life.

Is it barren and completely distant from our Creator? Or do we walk daily hand in hand with Jesus by our side?

How many times during the day do we pray silently, and thank our Lord for all He has done for us?

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.” Matthew 6:19-20.

Heaven

Although Heaven is mentioned often in the Bible there’s only one instance where we have a glimpse of a description. In John 14:2 Jesus says: In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.

I suppose Jesus used this description because He wanted an example that His listeners could relate to. They were used to seeing palaces and mansions so He described Heaven as a building.

Some time ago, I came across another description of Heaven. This priest said in a sermon that when we die and meet God, He will sit us on His lap like a little child and He will show us our life all over again. Just like a movie. There, we will see all the good and the bad we have done. All the opportunities we missed when we could have helped others less fortunate than ourselves, all the hurt we have caused by what we have done or said, whether intentionally or not. And there, on His lap, will be our own Heaven or Hell.

Now imagine it is really so … Imagine seeing your whole life as a movie …

Imagine you are now a Film Director … what an opportunity you have to make sure your movie will have a happy ending !!!

Guess who's in Heaven?

Johnny said to Father Ignatius, “Father, I had a funny dream the other day!”

“I could do with a good laugh,” replied the priest, “tell me about it.”

“Father, I dreamt I was in Heaven and Graham, my worst enemy, was there too!”

“What’s so funny about that?” asked the priest.

“Father, you don’t understand,” continued Johnny, “Graham is an evil conniving cheat who’d sell his own mother if he could make a fast buck! He’s the last person I’d expect to see in Heaven.”

“Well, let’s assume this is not a dream,” continued Father Ignatius as the two men walked round the church grounds, “Let’s say it’s for real.

“You died and went to Heaven, and there, sitting on a cloud playing the harp is your old nemesis, Graham.

“What do you feel about it?”

“As I said,” protested Johnny, “the man is evil. I’d probably warn St Peter in case Graham cheats him out of his catch of fish!”

Father Ignatius smiled. “Would you think that God made a mistake in letting him in?” he asked.

Johnny hesitated and did not answer.

“Do you remember the parable about the rich man who had a vineyard?” asked the priest. “The rich man hired some people early in the day to work in the field. Then again he hired more people a bit later on. And again in the afternoon, and also one hour before the end of the working day.

“The rich man in this parable represents God and the vineyard is Heaven. God is the only one who decides who is to enter Heaven.

“We have no say in the matter. Although we often pretend to know more than we actually do. You’d be surprised how many people there are ready to serve God in an advisory capacity.

“The different times of the day represent when certain people get to know God and to follow His word.

“Some people do so early in their lives and get to love Him and obey Him throughout their lives. Others get to know God later in their lives; and some only get to know God at the end of their lives just before dying.

“Of course, the temptation is there to ask why should I be good all my life when I can suddenly say sorry and accept God at the end. But there is no guarantee that this will happen is there? And God knows whether a final acceptance and repentance is genuine or not. Or just an insurance policy cashed in at the last minute to avoid the other place.”

“Does it matter?” interrupted Johnny, “Does it matter if the final repentance is genuine and the individual is truly sorry for what he has done, or whether it is a final act of despair to avoid going to hell?”

“Good point,” replied the priest wisely, “but one best left for God to decide since He owns the vineyard and we have no say in the matter.

“The fact remains, that when you see Graham in Heaven you should rejoice that at some stage in his life he found God and was deemed worthy by the Almighty to enter Paradise.

“As for you, who has been called to work in the vineyard early in your life, your job here on earth is to be an example to others so that they may see in you something worth following, worth knowing and worth loving. As a good Christian, you should be the recruitment officer for God and lead others to Him”.