Memories

 

I was thinking the other night as I hung upside down from my hammock. I always do my thinking at that time, and then it dawned on me ... it was morning once again. I realised that although I was upside down, as I opened my eyes, I could see the door, the walls, and the room exactly as they are; not upside down. Why is that?

Then another thought struck me as I fell to the ground. 

When I'm sitting on the couch watching TV I see the picture perfectly - for example, a newsreader talking to me. 

If I were to lean sideways horizontal on the couch, the TV does not turn sideways too. The picture  remains the same and my eyes still see the newsreader straight way up. Why is that? 

If I were to take a photo with a camera and then move the camera horizontally (90 degrees) the second photo would be sideways; but this does not happen when I lean sideways myself. Maybe my eyes are turning sideways instead!

And then I thought some more. Do things happen as we see them, or do they happen one way and we see them differently?

For example, if a tree falls in the forest and there is no one there to see it, does it remain upright?

When a chicken lays an egg, does it come out the pointy way out or the large way out?

I've always wondered which came first, so I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon ... I'll let you know!

Then my mind wandered a little further back to my childhood. We used to love playing hide-and-seek in the woods with friends. We used to tie a dead squirrel to someone's leg and then try to find him by smell alone.

I became very good at it. I could even smell round corners. I developed stereophonic 3D sense of smell. I could pin-point at someone in the elevator and say, "it was you!"

Breaking wind in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

As a young man in my twenties I got involved in helping at Church. Every Saturday, in the big hall, we held Bingo games to raise money for charity. I used to call the numbers in Latin to make sure only the Catholics won. One day, I got this feeling in my soul that this was all wrong and Jesus would not be happy. So I had to learn Aramaic instead. Is that the language Jesus spoke?

Things must have been very different those days. Not like now. My wife brought me a cup of tea and I wondered. What did they drink in Jesus' time? They did not have tea, or coffee or hot chocolate. Maybe it was boiled fish water. Must have tasted awful; unless they added milk and honey. Or is that in the Old Testament?

By the way, did you know I met my wife on the net? We were both bad trapeze artists!

She liked spiders. She collected them like pets. So I went to a pet shop and tried to buy her one. It cost £50. Can you imagine? £50? So I got one cheaper from the web.

Anyway, enough thinking for now. I think I hurt my head when I fell off the hammock. My wife did not like us having a hammock in the bedroom. So I bought her a trampoline instead ... she hit the roof.