Secrets to a successful marriage

I was reading a book the other day about the secrets to a successful, long-lasting and happy marriage.

It’s amazing that after centuries of people coming together in matrimony there are still, apparently, secrets that we do not know about on how to make our marriages happy and successful.

I read with some trepidation and curiosity in order to discover what else I have to learn on the subject.

It seems that the first steps in choosing a partner for life are the most important ones. Marriage is not to be entered into too lightly and one must be careful with whom we pledge to spend the rest of our lives – come sunshine, rain or snow. It is imperative at the outset to decide who will clear the path when the snow is feet deep and blocking your way out.

Love, mutual respect, patience and understanding are obviously very important in a marriage. But just as essential is the fact that one of the spouses should be slightly deaf – preferably the husband.

The choice of spouse is vital not only for reasons of compatibility, shared interests, hopes, values and aspirations. It seems that the occupation and profession of one’s partner plays a major role in the longevity and success of the union.

Statistics prove beyond doubt that archaeologists make the best marriage partners. The older you get the more interested they are in you.

It is of course inevitable that in any marriage arguments will occur sometimes out of the blue and on the most absurd and un-important subjects. The trick is not so much on how to win an argument; if this was at all possible, but to avoid getting into one in the first place.

It’s not a question of capitulating and giving way in the first instance, but choosing which argument is important enough to defend as a matter of principle and which is not worth losing privileges for.

The question of principles is worth dwelling on for a moment or two. Don’t just have one unbreakable principle which you will uphold at the cost of your marriage, happiness, and future livelihood. Be generous. Have plenty of principles; and if one doesn’t work out for you choose another one. No one who is anyone has ever succeeded by having just one principle.

The book also has a chapter about mutual interests and doing things together as a couple which both marriage partners can enjoy.

Now, doing heavy work together like changing the engine oil in the car, tuning the engine, changing the tires and other mechanical tasks may be ideal for certain couples; but personally I’d rather sit back and admire her handiwork and praise her every now and then. Besides, I hate it when the engine oil and dirt gets under my fingernails. It’s a devil of a job to clean when I’m at the manicurist.

In a chapter specifically for men, the book states that women like to be re-assured frequently that they are loved and cherished. Frequently the words “I love you” are not heard as often after the honeymoon, or are used as a pretext to wanting something, like watching the football on TV.

The book suggests that the husband writes down the words “I love you” on a piece of paper which the wife can refer to as often as needed in future. Laminating the piece of paper will ensure its durability, especially if it is the size of a credit card so it can be easily carried in one’s purse or handbag. Drawing a heart, or a flower, (before laminating), will also ensure a successful purpose.

So there you have it … a few secrets to a long, happy and successful marriage. Now where’s my dinner?

Fishy Facts

 

It is a fact that some mammals can fly. Bats for instance. It is also a fact that mammals can swim, like dogs, bears, and humans dressed like bears. Also some birds can swim, like penguins, seagulls and swans. But are there any fish that can live on land? Not that I know of, off hand.

The fish seem to be a dimwitted species unwilling or unable to evolve. They can't even punch their way out of a plastic bag. (Look out for environmentalists' comments).

Let's face it, when is the last time you've seen a fish driving a bus, or writing a book? Mammals, like humans for instance, can do both. Even chimpanzees have been taught to ride a tricycle, and dogs to herd sheep, and parrots to talk. But fish ... ???

I've done some research on your behalf. Did you know that the mangrove killifish, which lives in Florida and Mexico, can tolerate very salty water, and temperatures of up to 100* F. 

It can also survive for about two months on land. So it's like going on holiday. It gets out of the sea, leave behind its swimming costume, and it takes a three-piece suit or the best dresses and goes on land for a few weeks. Bravo for the mangrove killifish. That's one small step for evolution. You'll have to wait for another million years before you see one driving your bus, or at the check-out counter of your supermarket.

The rest of the fish species are totally left behind in the evolutionary scale.

The anchovy, for instance, as well as the sardine, the herring, the pilchard and the tuna, have a tendency to get into tins and cans and wait for you to buy them at the supermarket. You may know of other stupid fish with similar self-destructive habits. Some cover themselves with tomato sauce or olive oil to camouflage their taste.

You'll note I do not mention the dolphin in this article. Strictly speaking it is not a fish but a mammal that swims. Being a mammal it is a very enterprising creature which has benefited enormously from the tourist trade by enticing humans to swim with them. Unlike the shark, which being a stupid fish, has ruined its chances of similar fame and success by taking a bite out of any tourist too near to hand ... or mouth!

Many people have a lifetime ambition to swim with dolphins. I have always wished to do so but could not afford it. So I swam with sardines instead. They all swam away and left me. Which proves the point of their stupidity.

There are all other shapes and sizes of marine creatures which I suppose we can classify loosely as fish ... lobsters for example, prawns, oysters, clams, shellfish and octopusses or octopussies or whatever. They are all considered as fish. You do not for instance find them at the butcher's or the greengrocer's or the hardware store!

The octopus is a delicacy in many countries. It has eight legs and very difficult to catch because it runs faster than any human on two legs. This accounts for why it is so expensive in restaurants and why you have never seen an octopus run in the Olympics. When it is occasionally caught its a struggle to put it in a boiling pan of water. As you put one leg in another comes out, and often it uses its spare legs to turn off the heat under the boiling pan. 

Perhaps man can learn to evolve and grow more legs. That way we can run faster and catch not only the octopus but other fast creatures like the cheetah or the ostrich.

Can you imagine if you had an extra leg or arm? I'd like an arm out of the front of my chest. I could hide it under my shirt and get it out to wave at the other passengers on the bus. Or perhaps an extra mouth on top of my head. I could put a sandwich under my hat and eat whilst driving. 

Oh the possibilities ... How about you? How would you like to evolve?

It's only ink ...

 

There's this trend to buy a Christmas present for oneself. It is usually something expensive that probably no one else would buy for you so you buy it for yourself at Christmas, your birthday or whatever.

I don't see anything wrong with that. I often buy myself a few cans of Guinness regardless of what I'm celebrating.

A friend of mine said that for Christmas as a personal present she had a tattoo done in a very private place.

I feigned interest and asked her what it was. A bird perhaps? Or a flower? A heart?

"No ..." she said, "it is an inscription in a foreign language! I don't know what it says but it looks nice."

I thought it was rather odd, or silly, to have an inscription tattooed and you don't know what it means.

"You're good at languages," she said, "perhaps you could translate it for me." And before I could say anything she revealed her shapely body and showed me the inscription.

It took me quite a time to decipher it. I did not know what it said. So I scribbled every bit of the inscription on a piece of paper as accurately as I could. Took me some time in order to be very accurate.

She said she saw the inscription in the tattooist catalogue and liked it. 

I checked with a colleague what the inscription means and it is "Do Not Machine Wash - Dry Clean Only".

Do you think I should tell her? Or should I go back and check the tattoo inscription again in case I got it wrong first time? This time I'll copy it more korrectly ... correctly.

Christmas Fun

 

Hi Folks!!! I hope you've had a wonderful Christmas. A traditional one at least, or perhaps you've broken away from tradition and did something totally different this year. Just to be different.

One tradition in our family is that every Christmas, after our meal, we play charades or mimes. One of us starts, usually me, and mimes either the title of a book, a film or a song and the rest of the family have to guess which book, film or song it is.

To make it easy, every year it is the same mimes. I start with miming the book "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens, followed by "A Christmas Carol"; and the family have to guess. They have to pretend not to know it at first and they say things like Star Trek, I left my heart in San Francisco, or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Then they guess correctly.

Other mimes in our annual repertoire are The Sound of Music, Jingle Bells and Gone With The Wind. 

It is always the same mimes. And its great fun. You should try it.

The Holy Family

 

A SERMON BY

 

FATHER FRANCIS MAPLE

.

FATHER FRANCIS MAPLE

CLICK HIS WEBSITE HERE

THE FINE ART OF LIVING TOGETHER Luke 2:41-52 

 

The number one need of our world today is for people to learn to live together in harmony.  How wonderful it would be if people of all religions and nationalities lived peacefully.  Peace would prevail everywhere.  

Jesus went with His family to the Passover Feast in Jerusalem.  They made the pilgrimage in a large company of friends and relatives.  When the feast was over, everyone started home, except Jesus.  He decided to stay behind.  Mary and Joseph and their party had travelled one full day without Him, assuming that He was somewhere in the group.  Sometime that evening, it became apparent that He was not with them.  His frantic parents headed back to Jerusalem in search of their Child.  It took the better part of three days for them to find Him.  Can you imagine what they were feeling during that time?  

When they finally found Him, Mary said, "Son, why have You done this to us?"  A question that any mother or father would ask under the same circumstances.  Not that He was deliberately unkind.  He felt the call from His Father to stay on in Jerusalem.  But we can ask, "Why didn't He inform His parents?  It would have saved them a lot of heartache.  

After this event, we are told that He went home with them and "progressed steadily in wisdom and age and grace before God and men".  He was learning many things, among them the fine art of living together.  What are the basic ingredients of this art?  I think the first is commitment.  For people to live together in harmony, they must be committed to one another.  A man and a woman stand at a church altar, and say, "I do".  That is their answer to the questions, "Do you take this woman to be your wife?  Do you take this man to be your husband?"  They, of course, are doing more than taking.  They are also giving themselves, each to the other.  That is one of life's deepest commitments.  Without it, there can be no marriage.  There can be no home.  There can be no successful living together.  Joseph and Mary made that commitment, which is part of the reason we call them "the Holy Family".  The process, however, does not stop there.  A baby comes into the home, and the parents enlarge their commitment.  It now includes their new born baby.  

Whatever it may cost them, they will see to it that his or her needs are met.  They will provide food, clothing, shelter, discipline and, above all, love.  No sacrifice will be too great, if caring for their child requires it of them.  That is what it means to be parents.  It is, first and foremost, a commitment to their child.  In the Bible, especially the New Testament, the family is the main model for living together.  But it neither begins nor ends with husband, wife, and child.  Paul traced it back to God.  In his letter to the Colossians, he wrote, "You are God's chosen ones."  That means God has committed Himself to us.  Then, on the basis of that, Paul expanded it to include other people.  He appealed for "heartfelt mercy, with kindness, humility, and patience."  "Bear with one another", he said,  "Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you."   When we recognize the commitment that God has made to us, it stands to reason that we would make the same commitment to others. It would just not make sense for us to exclude anyone.  

If we are to live together in harmony there is another ingredient and that is compromise.  Whether it be in the family, or community, or nation, or world, living together is a matter of give and take, which means compromise.  The husband, who always has to be right, will never have a good marriage.  He may win the arguments, but he will lose the trust and respect of his wife.  The people in authority, who always have to be right, will never have a harmonious city.  They may win the struggles, but they will lose the spirit of community.  The nation that always has to dominate cannot be assured of peace.  Whenever and wherever people live together, sadly you will find conflict, but this should not be so if there is give and take and compromise and love for one another.

Lord Jesus, living together in harmony is the number one challenge facing our world today.  The three things needed for there to be peace in our world today are respect for one another, commitment and compromise.

Mary's Boy Child

 

Wishing A Blessed Christmas 

to all our friends.

Thank you for your support and encouragement.

God bless.

Christmas Cheer

 

 

 

White Christmas

 

 

The Legend of the Christmas Tree

 

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

On a totally separate incident ... ... ... 

I bought a big Christmas tree from the garden centre the other day. As he helped me tie it on top of the car the assistant said, "Are you going to put it up yourself?"

"No; I'll put it up in the living room!" I replied growling at him.

Silent Night

.

ME ... SINGING

SILENT NIGHT

FATHER FRANCIS MAPLE

SINGING

SILENT NIGHT 

 

CLICK HIS WEBSITE HERE

FATHER FRANCIS' WEBSITE 

Silent night, holy night!
All is calm, all is bright.
Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child.
Holy infant so tender and mild,
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight.
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia,
Christ the Saviour is born!
Christ the Saviour is born

 

 Silent night, holy night!
All is calm, all is bright.
Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child.
Holy infant so tender and mild,
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace

Hark

 

Feliz Navidad

 

Loving and Caring

It was a special Sunday and Father Ignatius had been invited to celebrate Mass at the Hospital Chapel. The tiny church was full to capacity with nurses and doctors and other medical staff commemorating the 50th Anniversary of opening the hospital.

The priest approached the lectern and said:

“I am very pleased to see so many of you gathered here today to celebrate 50 years of service which you, and this hospital, have given to the community.

“I would like, if I may, to read you three passages from the Bible. The first is from Luke Chapter 4 Verse 40.

“After sunset all who had friends who were sick with various diseases brought them to Jesus; He placed His hands on everyone of them and healed them all.

“This reading is from Matthew Chapter 8 Verses 2 and 3.

“Then a man suffering from a dreaded skin-disease came to Him, knelt down before Him, and said, ‘Sir, if you want to, you can make me clean’”. Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him. “I do want to,” He answered. “Be clean!” At once the man was healed of his disease.

“And finally I like to read from Mark Chapter 7 Verses 32 to 35.

“Some people brought Him a man who was deaf and could hardly speak, and they begged Jesus to place His hands on him. So Jesus took him off alone, away from the crowd, put His fingers in the man’s ears, spat, and touched the man’s tongue. Then Jesus looked up to Heaven, gave a deep groan, and said to the man, ‘Ephphatha’, which means, ‘Open up’. At once the man was able to hear, and his speech impediment was removed, and he began to talk without any trouble.”

Father Ignatius paused for a few seconds and looked at the congregation.

“You will remember” he said, “that the woman who followed Jesus on the way to Jairus’ house only had to touch His cloak and she was healed.

“A few verses further on, we read that when news came that Jairus’ daughter was dead; Jesus walked all the way to the house and there He performed His miracle and raised the little girl.

“Have you noticed, I wonder, something common in all these stories we have read? They are written by different people; Luke, Matthew and Mark, yet they all record something in common. What is it?”

Father Ignatius paused yet again to allow the congregation to think.

“In all passages we read that Jesus touched people to heal them,” he continued.

“Jesus placed His hands on the sick. He touched them, and they were healed.

“Now we know that Jesus was, and He is, all powerful. He could have clicked His fingers, or even thought about it, and the sick person would have been healed, if He wanted to.

“But He didn’t do that. He stopped and touched them instead. And they were healed.

“He really didn’t have to walk all the way to Jairus’ house. He could have said ‘Talitha, kaum. Little girl, I tell you to get up!’ from the very place He was standing and she would have been raised from the dead.

“But He did not do that. He walked all the way there and raised her up in the presence of her parents.

“And what we learn in all these stories is that Jesus really cared about people. He sympathized with them. He shared their pain and their worries and their fears and had compassion for them.

“He stopped and took time to speak to them. To touch them and to be with them on a one-to-one basis.

“He didn’t just raise His hands and a multitude of them were healed at once. He treated them as individuals and loved each one of them as individuals. They were important to Him and He made them feel worthy of His care and attention

“And that’s what I would like to remind you dear friends.”

Father Ignatius stopped for a few moments yet again.

“Most of you gathered here are practicing in the medical profession. And I do know that you tend to get very busy … I’ve been here visiting many times and seen you work very hard dealing with several emergencies at once.

“And being busy … it is possible that sometimes you may deal with those in your care as just another patient, another case in the long list of cases that come your way.

“Please remember that the person lying there in the hospital bed, or waiting for medical tests, is a human being with fears, worries and natural foreboding of what is to come.

“If you can, spare a minute or two treating that person as an individual … just like Jesus did all those years ago … and still does today.

“And this thought applies to the rest of us as well … those not in the medical professions. Counsellors, lawyers, teachers … and priests too.

“Oh yes … I’ve known many priests too busy rushing from one Ecumenical Meeting to another to spend time with their parishioners … I suppose I’m guilty of this sin too … may the Lord forgive me.

“Whatever our profession … medical or otherwise … let us remember to treat those that God has placed in our way with love, care and compassion; just as Jesus taught us.

“No matter how busy we might be; let us never switch off our kindness dispenser!” 

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

 

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Our street is full of Christmas lights and decorations. We've put our lights at the windows and a colourful Christmas wreath. 

I tell you this, I ceased to believe in Father Christmas, or Santa, years ago. As a child I asked for a live unicorn as a present. I didn't get it. I was told Santa could not bring him down the chimney. So I ceased to believe.

Until the other day. I got home from work late and as I drove into our drive I saw Santa leaving our house in a hurry from the back door. He jumped over a fence and into his car which drove off at speed. No doubt he's delivering our presents early this year!

I wonder. What's the difference between thinking and meditating? I was at a relaxation class the other day and this woman with a deep boring voice tried to get us to relax by asking us to close our eyes, take slow deep breaths and so on and so forth ... I nearly fell asleep. I could hear her saying, "imagine you are lying under a tree in a beautiful green valley ... the sun is shining ... there is a slight breeze ... ... ... "

I imagined lying under a tree as she said, then a dog came and relieved itself! 

Talking of unicorns ... a friend of mine was a horse whisperer. He used to stand ten or fifteen horses side-by-side then whisper something in the first horse's ear. That horse would whisper it to the second one and all the way down the line. Until the last horse which would shrug its shoulders and say "Prrrfttt!!!" Not having understood a thing.  

You know those contraptions they point at you to check your temperature? I went to the supermarket and the assistant pointed it at me. It must have messed up my brain. I went in the shop for some groceries and got out with wines and chocolates.

Just a thought ... what if you went to church and the priest pointed the instrument at you. And he could tell all your sins. Would you go to church again?

But God can see all your sins. He does not need an instrument for that. Think about it!

Anyway ... not much else to say for the moment. So as I lean back on my chair and read what's on my computer monitor one more time ...

All I have to say is ... ... ... ... ...

Thank you for your reviews

THANK YOU

FOR YOUR REVIEWS ON 

AMAZON

 

This is such an excellent written book, that keeps you literally on edge till the very end. I read it through... could not put it down! WOW. - Mariette

When Father Ignatius and Father Donald are called away to a Conference at a monastery little did they know they would end up as suspects in the murder of a monk. Murder in the Monastery is a murder mystery with a unique twist. Even though the story is a who-dun-it there are several passages throughout the story that Father Ignatius speaks to others about  forgiveness. I intend on reading more by this new author and I recommend this inspirational story to others.- Romaine Heart

Victor using his created character, Father Ignatius, has completed a very good example, in short stories, of a man of God interested in people. I smiled as I read the stories. It could have been the small office or churches my dad pastored. Victor's insight into the problems encountered by any ministers of the Gospel, yeah, including priests. As I read I actually remember several short stories that were nearly word for word of problems and the Priest's answers were as if my dad had advised. I recommend this book very highly. As I write this review I am smiling remembering my dad the pastor of a very fundamental Protestant church. He would have gotten a kick out of me comparing him to an educated Catholic Priest; my dad was self taught, very successful, from a very poor family and a formal education of the 3rd grade. He had to quit school to be a full time farm hand. Victor's Father Ignatius was also from a poor family. Anyway, no matter your situation, you will enjoy Father Ignatius. - Kindle Customer

If you haven't already met the lovable and caring Fr. Ignatius, here is your chance! Take Care of My Sheep is a collection of thoughtful and inspiring stories by author Victor S E Moubarak, stories that star Fr. Ignatius and the varied experiences he encounters that cry out for his Christian knowledge and gentle demeanour. When I'm feeling down, I pick this book up and immerse myself in one of the stories - they never grow old! ~Martha Orlando, author of A Trip, a Tryst and a Terror, Children in the Garden, The Moment of Truth, Revenge!, Redemption, and Revelation, all available on Amazon 

Victor Moubarak has provided us with a collection of short stories that are simply heartwarming. I enthusiastically second Martha Orlando's positive review!- Chris Lally

This is a very well written 'Who Done It'. I thoroughly enjoyed the plot, and many original lines. The one I remember most was concerning a conversation in which the old saying "If someone yells in a vacuum can it be heard?" You have to appreciate the wit of the author and also the surprise ending. It is a very enjoyable read and I definitely would recommend the author. Yep, tis a fun read. - Jack Darnell

 A man of many talents, Victor, entertains us with a "Who Don It" in this offering! What I liked MOST about the story---the reminder to not jump to judgement based upon circumstances! Victor tells a story with a touch of tongue in cheek--always--and adds a lesson in morality and faith while weaving an intriguing tale of murder and mystery. The faithful stand by Father Ignatius, but most fall away and even call for heads to roll--reminiscent of the last days of Christ. A talented writer, Victor, has once again used the infamous Father Ignatius to keep us on the edge of our seats--while at the same time gently reminding us of important life lessons. A Great Read!- LJC

I so much love this book! I am still reading it, have not finished, but love how the story combines adventure, faith, and suspense. The author is very talented and has crafted a wonderful story. My highest recommendation!- Patrick Kearns

I have read Victor Moubarak and am impressed with his ability to teach me about the Catholic Church and it's stands and beliefs. He does not shy away from the controversial and that is important for me. I will probably never be a Roman Catholic Church 'follower' but it is refreshing to read, and learn things I did not know. One of my best friends converted from Baptist to become a Catholic, we have had many discussions. Now after following Victor and reading his books I feel more informed. I recommend the book as a very good fiction novel, very entertaining, you cannot go wrong giving this book a read. - Kindle Customer

I really enjoyed following my favorite priest, Fr. Ignatius, as he navigates his way through a tough challenge. Celibacy and the priesthood are tough subjects, yet the author addresses it with such grace and insight. Priests are people, just like any of us, with the same feelings and inner conflicts. This book just made me love and respect the character of Fr. Ignatius more than I already did...which was a lot!- Ceil Ryan

Of all Moubarak's Father Ignatius stories, this one most definitely is his most poignant. Torn between his priestly vows and the reemergence of a former love, Fr. Ignatius is faced with a deep and life-changing decision. You do not want to miss this one! - Martha Orlando, author of A Trip, a Tryst and a Terror, Children in the Garden, Moment of Truth, Revenge!, Redemption, and Revelation, all available on Amazon 

Everything you ever wanted to know ... but were embarrassed to ask. :)
As ever, the author's narrative flows easily, and provides answers to 'those' niggling questions. Thank you! - Myra G.

Especially nowadays where so many people tend to stray away from God, this is a very good book for bringing them back into the fold.- Mariette

Thank you everyone who has reviewed my books on AMAZON. Too many to mention here. I am really humbled and grateful for your kindness. God bless you.

PLEASE CLICK HERE 

FOR LIST OF BOOKS

 

Love Letters

 

I don't know if you ever sent love letters. And whether, if you did, did you keep copies of the letters you sent to your sweetheart? Did you have access to a photocopier or printer, or did you use carbon paper which people used years ago to make copies of letters and documents?

Anyway, years ago I kept carbon paper copies of the hand-written letters I sent to my various girl-friends. I'd forgotten about them, but I found them in an old shoebox the other day when I was looking for a box big enough to bury our hamster in. As it happens, he was not dead. By the time I put him in the box he opened his eyes and twitched. Apparently he was a little lethargic because he saw an episode of Downton Abbey on TV. Anyway, he was now better and saved from a premature burial.

Back to the letters. They were a bit faded but you could still read some of the words faintly. Here are a few of them.

This letter was written to Helena to tell her that I wanted to break up our relationship.

Dear Helena,

This is the most difficult letter I have had to write. So let me make it easy and let you work out what I want to say.

Bye.

Vic M

This letter is to Erica. For some unknown reason she broke up with me.

Dear Erica,

I cannot understand why you have stopped contacting me and do not answer my phone calls. I have said a million times that I am sorry to have dropped the anvil on your foot. I was practicing at being the strongest man and could hold it no longer when you tickled me.

I am heartbroken at our breakup; although I would guess you are toe-broken as a result. 

I hope your toe gets better soon. Does it hurt?

Vic M

She never answered that letter and I did not see her again. She emigrated to Australia soon afterwards.

This letter was written to Marjorie. 

Dearest Marjorie,

I am so saddened and in despair at the lack of seeing you and being with you. I write once more whilst on my bended knees to ask for your forgiveness. 

I am so so sorry that whilst massaging your dog my wristwatch got caught in his hair and he jolted and bit your nose. How was I to know he'd be so frisky. And to be fair, you were holding him rather close to your face at the time. So in my estimation, the blame should be shared equally between us for the unfortunate accident which led to you going to hospital to have some stitches in your nose. I hope it heals up soon and your nose would be as beautiful and as kissable as ever it was. Do not believe the doctor about the scars that will be there as a result. What do doctors know anyway?

I am sorry too about the various injections you had in your bottom at the hospital to prevent any possible infections. Life is full of surprises. We never know when we'll be showing our backside to complete strangers.

How was I to know you would get an adverse reaction to the injection? You can hardly hold me responsible for that.

Oh ... and about the door ... I did not know you were standing behind the door when I opened it. So fortunate we were at the hospital at the time and you got treated in the Emergency Room. Hope your eye is better soon.

Despite the pain we have shared together, and my broken wristwatch strap, I sincerely hope we can get back together again.

How is Fifi your dog?

Love and kisses,

Vic M

She did not reply to the letter although we had several correspondences from her lawyers. 

I also had a girl-friend called Michelle. She was French. This is what I wrote.

Mon petit choux Michelle.

You are so beautiful Michelle ma belle. These are words that go together well. I love you I love you I love you.  

Michelle ma belle. Sont des mots qui vont tres bien ensemble. Tres bien ensemble.

I would like to serenade you like Maurice Chevalier, like Charles Aznavour, like Sacha Distel ... like Edith Piaf. These words by The Beatles were written for you, ma belle.

I am so very sorry that when we were in lovely Paris together I accidentally tripped you up and you fell in the river. I am also sorry that I did not jump in to help you out because the water was too cold.

You must have thought I was insane at the time; although strictly speaking it was you who was in Seine at the time.

I'm also sorry at this puny joke I made as Claude jumped in and got you out of the water.

How is Claude these days? I hope you two are happy together. I shall always miss you.

Adieu.

Victor.

Claude was a passer-by who jumped in the river and got Michelle out. They are now married and have three children.

CHRISTMAS

 

There is a new modern trend not to send Christmas cards because they are not environmentally friendly and that we should all do our best to save the planet.

This leaves me both perplexed and somewhat vindicated; because for the past few years I have not been sending any Christmas or other greeting cards to anyone. My reasons had nothing to do with the hot air generated by the global warming debate, but more because I am mean by nature and resented having to spend so much on cards which are thrown in the re-cycling bin within days.

For a period I had considered sending people cards which I had received from family and friends in previous years, thus saving me having to buy new ones. But then the cost of postage went through the roof and I discovered another opportunity to save more money.

So I stopped sending cards altogether and decided on one group e-mail sent to everyone on my mailing list saving me the time and effort to type different greeting messages to everyone.

That's efficiency as well as preserving the planet for a few more years or so.

Oh ... another thing ... the money saved is grudgingly given to charity!

CLICK HERE

A message from Father Francis Maple

 

FATHER FRANCIS MAPLE

 

VISIT HIS WEBSITE HERE

 

This Christmas we need to focus on the greatest reality there is - that God loves us so much that He gave us His only Son to free us from our sins! 

We need to be grateful for His love and respond to His love; and the best way to do that is by surrendering our life completely to Him, as He has surrendered Himself completely to us. How do we do this - by putting Him first in our daily lives? This means that we build our day around Him. We need to give Him quality time in our prayer life. 

As we meditate on His birth and see Mary holding her divine Child in her arms we can think of her saying, "Would you like to hold Him?" Then she hands Jesus to you and you get to hold the God of the universe in your arms. But we do not just stop there – we realise EVERY DAY we can hold Jesus in our arms when we receive Him in the Eucharist! To believe that Jesus, who is God, and who the Universe cannot even begin to contain, became a little baby for us and continues this humility in the Eucharist is amazing - What a gift He has given to us! How very blessed we are!

I also realize and appreciate that there are some who think Christmas is a hard time. You may be experiencing loneliness or illness, or you may be in sorrow because you have lost someone dear. You need to know that you are never alone! Jesus became one of us so that He could be near us! There is never a time when you need to feel that no one cares or that you have to go through your struggles alone - YOU ARE LOVED! This is what Christmas is about, and this needs to be our hope that brings us through the darkness.

Remember that no matter how dark the darkness is - it can never conquer the Light! Try this - go into a dark room and light a match or candle and watch just how the darkness flees from the power of the light. Jesus is that Light and He is inside of YOU! That is so true. Cling to this Truth, and know His power!

This Christmas let us pray for each other and accept the love of the Christ Child, and of Our Father who gave Him to us, our best Christmas present. Mary and Joseph, we thank you for the part you played in bringing Jesus to our world.