Memories

 

I don't know why sometimes our thoughts turn to times gone by when we were young and the world was a totally different place. 

I was lying in bed the other day thinking back to when I was younger. I used to like it so when my parents used to read to me before I got to sleep. Books like, "Algorithms and Logarithms", "Trigonometry for Beginners", "Teach Yourself Genealogy In Three Generations" and such other subjects. I remember I was 18 at the time, and this went on until I was 21.

Then my parents suggested it was time I left home. They said they needed my room to store dad's motorbike. It must have been difficult for him carrying the bike up and down the stairs every day; especially since my room was in the attic.

Anyway, by coincidence, that's when I found a job in London. So I moved out of home and lived in an apartment there. My first job was at a veterinary practice. I had to chew hay for a horse with no teeth. I also had to taste various dog foods for dogs on a special diet.

I then left that job and worked for one of those Vehicle Rescue Services - you know, if your car stops they come out to fix it. I was an assistant to one of their mechanics. One day as he was answering a call he started crying. I thought he was heading for a breakdown!

I then worked for a freelance scientist. He had his own lab and hoped to invent things and solve every day problems. For example: If buttered toast always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet; what would happen if you tie a buttered toast to a cat?

He also invented an instant laxative. But that did not sell either. 

I then worked at a Job Centre. I lasted a week and then got fired. I returned the next day to ask them for a job. They had a new manager and I got hired again.

I applied for a job as a statistician and told them I was willing to give 110%. They did not give me the job on account I could not count.

I then worked for an Australian psychiatrist who had just opened a practice in London. His chat with his patients was always the same, "Gday ..., Gday ... How ye doing? No worries. Too easy. Next!"

He always gave his patients a boomerang as they left to ensure they returned. 

My job at the practice was answering the phone; but it was never for me.

Then I got a job in a shipyard welding large pieces of sheet metal together. It was riveting.

A while later I quit my job at the helium gas factory because I didn't like being spoken to in that voice.

What are your memories of jobs you have done?