Thursday, 29 August 2019
A psychiatrist friend of mine went to see a psychiatrist. Now that is not the same as a doctor seeing a doctor. When a doctor is not well, he goes to see another doctor and explains the symptoms and the diagnosis he arrived at. Then he asks the other doctor if he agrees and whether a specialist's opinion is in order.
Not so with psychiatrists. With them it is all in the mind. As someone once said: If someone thinks he needs to see a psychiatrist he should have his head examined.
Anyway, this psychiatrist friend of mine went to see a psychiatrist. As he entered his insulting room he said, "Help me doctor. People keep ignoring me."
The insulting psychiatrist said, "Who said that?"
"Me," replied the first psychiatrist seeking an opinion, "I said people keep ignoring me and my psychiatrist advice. What should I do?"
"Join them," said the second psychiatrist.
"Is that really your advice?" asked my friend. "To let people ignore me?"
"Who said that?" said the insulting psychiatrist.
"Me ... I just said it," replied my friend.
"Oh do forgive me," said the other psychiatrist, "I have lost my hearing aid and I can't hear you properly."
"Let me help you find it," said my friend helpfully.
"Oh ... thank you. I have looked here everywhere and could not find it!"
"When and where did you last remember seeing it ... or hearing it?" asked my friend.
"Oh ... it was at home this morning. I must have lost it there!"
"You lost it at home?" asked my friend, "why did you search for it here then?"
"Oh ... the lighting in my insulting room is much better than at home. So I thought I'm more likely to find it here!"
"But shouldn't you be looking at home?" insisted my friend.
"Not really," replied the second psychiatrist, "I know exactly where it went. It fell in my corn flakes this morning and I must have swallowed it!"
"You swallowed your hearing aid?" repeated my friend.
"Yes I did ..." replied the other psychiatrist, "now I hear everything as if it was faint and coming from within a cave. And whenever I break wind I answer myself!"
"So you can still hear with the hearing aid within you?" asked my friend.
"That's right," said the other psychiatrist, "what do you say to that?"
"This too shall pass!" replied my friend.
"I hope so," said the other psychiatrist, "in the meantime I have to ask people to talk to me through my navel! Now what can I do for you?"
"Oh ... nothing," said my friend, "I've just been healed. You are the first person not to ignore me and listen!"
"Who said that?" asked the insulting psychiatrist.