Thursday 29 August 2019

Psychiatric Dilemma


A psychiatrist friend of mine went to see a psychiatrist. Now that is not the same as a doctor seeing a doctor. When a doctor is not well, he goes to see another doctor and explains the symptoms and the diagnosis he arrived at. Then he asks the other doctor if he agrees and whether a specialist's opinion is in order.

Not so with psychiatrists. With them it is all in the mind. As someone once said: If someone thinks he needs to see a psychiatrist he should have his head examined.

Anyway, this psychiatrist friend of mine went to see a psychiatrist. As he entered his insulting room he said, "Help me doctor. People keep ignoring me."

The insulting psychiatrist said, "Who said that?"

"Me," replied the first psychiatrist seeking an opinion, "I said people keep ignoring me and my psychiatrist advice. What should I do?"

"Join them," said the second psychiatrist.

"Is that really your advice?" asked my friend. "To let people ignore me?"

"Who said that?" said the insulting psychiatrist.

"Me ... I just said it," replied my friend.

"Oh do forgive me," said the other psychiatrist, "I have lost my hearing aid and I can't hear you properly."

"Let me help you find it," said my friend helpfully.

"Oh ... thank you. I have looked here everywhere and could not find it!"

"When and where did you last remember seeing it ... or hearing it?" asked my friend.

"Oh ... it was at home this morning. I must have lost it there!"

"You lost it at home?" asked my friend, "why did you search for it here then?"

"Oh ... the lighting in my insulting room is much better than at home. So I thought I'm more likely to find it here!"

"But shouldn't you be looking at home?" insisted my friend.

"Not really," replied the second psychiatrist, "I know exactly where it went. It fell in my corn flakes this morning and I must have swallowed it!"

"You swallowed your hearing aid?" repeated my friend.

"Yes I did ..." replied the other psychiatrist, "now I hear everything as if it was faint and coming from within a cave. And whenever I break wind I answer myself!"

"So you can still hear with the hearing aid within you?" asked my friend.

"That's right," said the other psychiatrist, "what do you say to that?"

"This too shall pass!" replied my friend.

"I hope so," said the other psychiatrist, "in the meantime I have to ask people to talk to me through my navel! Now what can I do for you?"

"Oh ... nothing," said my friend, "I've just been healed. You are the first person not to ignore me and listen!"

"Who said that?" asked the insulting psychiatrist.

20 comments:

  1. Mmm ... that's one professional I think I'll avoid, ya know?!

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  2. "This too shall pass" - indeed it will, Victor! Thanks for the laugh, my friend.
    Blessings!

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    1. I wonder whether he will hear it pass, Martha?

      God bless you.

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  3. Too funny, Victor! These two belong in a vaudeville revival!

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    1. Yes, I can see it as a sketch written for the stage.

      God bless you, Mevely.

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  4. This was so funny that I actually could picture in my head what was going on!!!
    I needed a good laugh today Victor and you were there for me...thank you! Your imagination is amazingly wonderful 💮

    God's Blessings 💮

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    1. It's great to laugh, Jan. It releases dolphins within us which tickle our insides.

      Have you tried any of my funny books? Keep one beside you for when you need to laugh. They are good as a gift for friends you don't like.

      Check them out on the tab at top of this Blog on the left - or on the right margin. My memoirs are good too.

      God bless.

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  5. I think most psychiatrists just mumble "umm humm" and don't listen anyway. Problem with psychiatrists is if they make the wrong diagnosis you might never know, at least with a medical doctor if you don't show improvement soon it is a good indication they've got it wrong.

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    1. I tend to agree, JoeH. As they say, "it's all in the mind!"

      God bless.

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  6. LOL. "this too shall pass" got me laughing. :)
    Have a great evening, Victor!

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    1. I'm glad I got you laughing, Bill. That's good.

      Best wishes to you. God bless.

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  7. Thank you for all the fun and happiness that your wonderfully talented thoughts create.

    When I LOL...hubby looks at me and asks " what's so funny?"
    I just say " Victor's posting "...he smiles with a knowing grin.

    God's Blessings 💮

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    1. Thank you for the kind compliment, Jan. I am so glad you and your husband like my humour. Please send more people over here so they can laugh too.

      God bless you both.

      Delete
  8. Cannot tell you how I have l have laughed at this! Your play on words "insulting room" and "insulting psychiatrist" is so funny! Thank you for brightening my day!

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    1. I am so glad I made you laugh, Cathy. That's good. Please send your friends over here too.

      God bless.

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  9. This too shall pass had me laughing as well!!

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  10. Chuckling over here, Victor! You have a WAY with words!
    Blessings!

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    1. Glad to see you laughing again, Lulu.

      God bless you.

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