Wednesday 28 April 2021

Best Vacuum Cleaner Ever

Salesman: Hello Sir. I would like to demonstrate to you the greatest invention ever. May I come in?

Man: Yes ... come in ...

Salesman: I would like to show you the latest invention which will revolutionise the world. This vacuum cleaner does not use any electricity at all. And no batteries either. What do you think of that?

Man: Neat!

Salesman: For a moment I thought you'd say it sucks!

Man: No ... it's neat!

Salesman: Indeed it is neat. And it will make your whole house neat. And it will save you hundreds of dollars in electricity. Because it does not use electricity, or batteries which you have to re-charge. And what's more ... no electricity means it will help save the planet because you are not using any power at all. So you save money and you save the planet. What do you say now?

Man: Neat!

Salesman: Yes ... double neat indeed. Let me show you how it works. You are married are you?

Man: Yes.

Salesman: Good ... because this vacuum cleaner requires the help of one's spouse to make it work. We call it Perfect Partnership. Husband and wife working in harmony together. Or indeed any couple, friends living together, or any two or more people working in harmony together to save money and to save the planet at the same time. Shall I show you how it works?

Man: Yes please.

Salesman: I'll pretend to be your wife and I will operate this hand pump here. As I pump up and down up and down ... see how I do it ... you will move the vacuum cleaner head backwards and forwards and suck all the dirt from the carpet. Let's try it ... what do you think?

Man: Neat ... it's great ...

Salesman: You bet it's neat ... it picks up all the dirt ingrained deep in the fibres of the carpet. And no electricity whatsoever. All it needs is me to pump up and down and you to suck in all that nasty dirt.

Man: It missed a bit over there.

Salesman: Yes it does every now and then. But you can always pick the bits it missed with your hand and put them in the trash bin. I bet you can't guess how much this new invention costs!

Man: I have no idea!

Salesman: Well, for you ... as an introductory offer seeing you are the first house I called on in your area ... this latest modern invention is yours for only $100. Do you like it?

Man: I do ... I think ...

Salesman: I'll tell you what ... I am authorised to make you a special offer. If I leave this vacuum cleaner with you for a month, and you demonstrate it to all your neighbours, family and friends ... for every vacuum cleaner you sell I'll give you $10. You only need to sell 10 in a month and I'll give you this cleaner for free instead. What do you say to that?

Man: Neat!

Salesman: Neat indeed ... now let me get your John Hancock signature on this contract here ... By the way, what will you do with your existing electric vacuum cleaner?

Man: I'll throw it away. It's only gathering dust!

25 comments:

  1. ...something for my Amish friends!

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    Replies
    1. No electricity ... works as good as a broom.

      God bless, Tom.

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  2. Memories, rotten memories! 1956, jobs were hard to come by. I waited in line for a couple hours to be interviewed for a job advertised as dangerous and not for sissies! When I got inside it was for selling vacuums! Okay, I did like the punch line!
    The best to you...
    Sherry & jack (trying to find our vacuum!)
    (John Hancock????)

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    Replies
    1. John Hancock is primarily remembered by Americans for his large, flamboyant signature on the Declaration, so much so that John Hancock became, in the United States, an informal synonym for signature.

      Did you sell many vacuum cleaners door-to-door? Did you know I used to sell doors door-to-door?

      God bless Jack & Sherry.

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    2. Many of the signers of "The Declaration" were no doubt reticent for fear of retribution by the British for insubordination. John Handcock was the first to sign and he made a show of his conviction and fearlessness of the British with the huge and flamboyant signature.

      Delete
    3. This post did not suck!

      Delete
    4. Yes, you are right about John Hancock.

      And thank you about the post too! God bless, JoeH.

      Delete
  3. Love the punch line, Victor!
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. I thought it would clean up!!!

      God bless you, Martha.

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  4. Hahahaha! And think of all the cardio benefits you and the Mrs. will enjoy. (or not ....)

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    Replies
    1. Exercise while you clean; what a brilliant invention. Environmentally friendly too. I'll make a fortune!

      God bless always, Mevely.

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  5. Neat. :)
    A two person vacuum would never work in my house. I don't think Ken has ever vacuumed the house!!

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    Replies
    1. It's useful when there is no electricity, like when out camping.

      God bless, Happyone.

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  6. Hahaha ...
    Very neat :)

    All the best Jan

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  7. What an idea! It wouldn't work on my jobs, though, as i am mostly by myself when cleaning. Oh, well.

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    Replies
    1. That's a shame, Mimi. We have a wind-powered version too.

      God bless.

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  8. With that vacuum you would never need to go to the gym.

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    Replies
    1. Exactly. Sometimes, I am so brilliant I astonish myself.

      God bless, Kathy.

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  9. I was trying to figure out what you would end this post with, and I could not. When I saw your last sentence I thought 'Clever Dick', or should I have said 'Clever Vic' :-)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Brenda. I often don't know the punch-line until I finish the joke. Then I laugh.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  10. I think I must pass on that wonderful new invention. The push lawn mower that I used to mow the lawn helped me to appreciate electrical and gas powered machinery. Thanks for another delightfully funny story. Blessings

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I remember those non-electric manual push mowers. I found one yesterday at the bottom of our garden.

      God bless.

      Delete

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