Tuesday 18 February 2020

A Walk In The Park


A few days ago we visited a park in a town we happened to be staying at for a few days. It was one of those beautiful well-maintained parks with a variety of plants and flowers and trees which you could admire and enjoy, if you are that way inclined.

The park had a very interesting feature new to me. Every so often along the path there was a bench for you to sit on and admire a special plant positioned right opposite.

Nothing unusual about that, you may say. But wait. As you sit on the bench a voice emanates from your trousers and it tells you all about the plant or bush you are sitting in front. It tells you what the plant is called in English and Latin, where it originates from, and various other facts you probably did not care to know about anyway. The voice emanating from the seat also told of the wildlife in this park, what kind of birds have been spotted and such other interesting facts which you may, or may not, wish to know. Let's face it ... I go to the park, unwillingly I might add, just to be with the family on a day out. Not to be lectured by talking benches.

It was uncanny, every time you sat on a bench this voice told you all it had been programmed to say and then after ten minutes it would start again; unless you happened to stand up and walk away.

It set me thinking, hitherto, the only sound that came out of people's trousers, or dresses for that matter, bore no resemblance whatsoever to a human voice. But all this changed with these new style benches.

Whose idea, I thought, was it to hide little speakers on these seats which are somehow triggered into speech as you sit on them. And what happens when it rains, for instance? Do they gargle their message or just shout, "I'm drowning here!"

I sat on one of these benches opposite a red leaved bush and the voice kept on repeating ad nausea, "Hello. You are looking at the photinia red robin bush ...." and on and on it went  about this plant I'd never heard of before nor wished to hear of again.

As soon as the voice stopped talking it repeated again, "You are looking at the photinia red robin bush ...." which was not strictly true because at  that moment I was looking at some strawberry jelly which fell from the doughnut I was eating and onto my lap. I must say I never heard it called a photinia red robin before! 
   
But believe it or not, these benches were very popular. People kept rushing from one bench to another and plonking their backsides hurriedly to hear the voice speak to them.

In order to participate in the fun, and to prove that I too can be light-hearted at times, I did try a few benches myself. I moved nonchalantly along the path looking left and right as if I were a plant expert and then, as soon as I reached the next bench, I sat hurriedly to hear what it had to say to me.

All went well until at one bench I sat down quickly without looking and instead of the familiar dulcet tones through my trousers I heard a female voice shout at me, "You idiot. You sat on my prize cactus!"

I'll admit that I got up faster than the sound of her voice could travel. The stupid woman had placed on the bench a cactus plant that she'd just bought from the souvenir shop. The plant had come out of its plastic pot and was totally entrenched in my trousers. The pain was out of this world!

I suggested we retrieve the plant and put it back in the pot; but the woman walked away saying some unrepeatable things which I will not repeat here.

23 comments:

  1. Victor, Your adventures are interesting for sure. I have never encountered a pressure plate triggered talking bench before... I can't say that I have ever sat on a cactus before either... OUCH!

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    1. The talking benches are real - these are benches with a speaker in the backrest triggrede when you sit down. The cactus is also real. It's a plant I have deep rooted feelings for.

      God bless, Ryan.

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  2. It amazes me the trouble you can get into without even trying, you are very talented! Heeheehee!

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    1. It wasn't my fault. I thought the bench will start talking, instead the cactus started me screaming.

      God bless, Mimi.

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  3. Have to agree with both Ryan and messymimi. If I didn't know you from other "adventures" I'd say you make them up. Life must be a roll of the dice to be with you. :)

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    1. Life can be an adventure at times, Bill. Like today for instance. The electronic car key that opens my car doors got damaged. I went to get a new set of car keys. The new car keys cost more than the car itself. Why do they make them that expensive? Why is life so complicated? Now I lock the car and get in and out through the open windows ... SIMPLE!

      God bless, Bill.

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  4. OUCH! I never sat on a cactus before, but was once attacked by a jumping cholla. (Truth)
    Even for someone I dearly cared about, it would take all my willpower to participate in such a stroll. B-O-R-I-N-G!!!

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    1. "Boring", as in such a park, that is. Certainly not your post!

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    2. I agree, Mevely, walking through parks looking at various plants is boring. We have garden centres here full of various plants, young trees, pots, various seeds, garden ornaments, furniture and every other boring thing you can imagine. I have now taken to sitting in the car listening to the radio whilst someone else is doing all the walking and ooohing and ahhaaing at the "wonderful" plants.

      God bless you.

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  5. Those benches could be annoying. THey should be voice activated...you sit and they ask would you lik eto hear about bla bla bla? You could then respond "why yes" or "no thank you."

    Get the point. Oh wait, you already got the point.

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    1. Yes, I got the point, Joeh ... many of them. You're right. The voice could be activated by a button which you push. It seems people these days invent new gadgets just for the sake of it. They'll be inventing telephones which you carry with you where you go next. Who needs that? Imagine getting no peace with people phoning you all the time!

      God bless, JoeH.

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  6. When I was a kid, my brother pushed me onto some prickly grass. My pants didn't say anything, but I sure did.

    I saw an article last year that some parks in London would have the statues tell you all about them when you looked at them. I think that would make me jump out of my pants. 😺

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    1. I would guess it's the same people who thought of the speaking benches are behind the talking statues idea. I remember when I went to London zoo years ago, they have talking machines by each animal enclosure. At least they operate by pressing a button, not automatically.

      Hey ... you gave me an idea ... why not train a parrot by each enclosure to tell visitors what the animals are and what they do? The parrots could also say, "Move along now ... you've been here for too long ... go away!"

      God bless you, CJ.

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  7. You certainly made your point with this story, Victor. What a prickly situation!
    Blessings!

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    1. Yes ... prickly and to the point.

      God bless you and yours always, Martha.

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  8. It actually sounds pretty interesting to me, Victor. The cactus, not so much.
    My problem was walking off path and through a patch of nettles. I still remember it well.

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    1. Oh yes ... nettles ... I know the feeling. Have you ever tried nettles tea? It's like drinking a cactus. You get all the itching spiky things on your tongue.

      God bless, Susan.

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  9. Sounds like an interesting way to learn about plants but you should look before you sit down...you could have been stuck there for a while and walking funny to the next bench.
    You meet people in the strangest ways.

    God Bless 💮

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    1. I can understand the interest if one likes plants and flowers, Jan. I felt like I was being lectured every time I sat down. Perhaps they could have put a button to activate the speakers if you wish. Did you know the cactus song? "I've got you under my skin!"

      God bless, Jan.

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  10. I think it sounds like a pretty good idea. You don't HAVE to sit on the bench. : )

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    1. I agree about the idea being good. It's the fact that it is activated by sitting on it, rather than a button you press.

      God bless, Happyone.

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