Wednesday 26 February 2020

The Ancient Greeks

Today's history lesson is about the Ancient Greeks. A people who have brought civilisation many things we love and cherish today, like baklava, avgolemono, youvarlakia, stuffed vine leaves, ouzo, the Olympic Games, as well as Nana Mouscouri and Demis Roussos.

How many of these do you recognise?

Of course the Olympics Games have changed a lot since they were first held in Ancient Greece. In those days the games consisted mostly of running round the track and throwing the discus or javelin. To be fair, they did try to throw the boomerang, a sport introduced by Australian competitors, but it did not catch on because the boomerang kept coming back and hitting the contestants on the head.

One little known fact about the Olympics is that only men competed at the games when held in Athens. And they did so totally naked which must have been somewhat disconcerting during the relay race in case the runner behind you did not catch the stick in your hand.

Another little known fact about the Olympics is that in Athens, apart from the men, only virgins and unmarried women were allowed in as spectators. Married women were forbidden to watch the Games under penalty of death; in case they got attracted to the naked athletes and put them off their stride.

By contrast in Sparta, which compared to Athens was more liberal in outlook, they allowed both men and women to compete in the Games in the nude. (I bet there was a lot of socialising afterwards).

The history of the relay race is quite interesting. Apparently, the god Pormetheus stole fire from the other gods and brought it down to earth for humans to use. The other gods got very angry, and presumably somewhat cold without a burning fire to keep them warm. So they chased the humans to get their fire back. The humans ran away with burning torches. 

The relay race in the original Olympics was run with burning torches in honour of the god Pormetheus. Also, running naked with someone behind you with a burning torch gave the athletes extra incentive to run faster!

A famous Greek was a man called Pythagoras. He was a mathematician, philosopher and founder of a movement known as Pythagoreanism.

He believed that the square on the hippopotamus is equal to the two other squares on the other side of the triangle. The triangle of course being an early musical instrument which was easy to tune since it only has one note. Apparently, he also invented cheese triangles much loved by people to this day; and are not to be confused with wedgies which are an entirely different thing.

His well known Pythagoras Theorem was taught to children at an early age and is still taught today for no apparent reason, since it has very little to do with getting a job as a celebrity, politician or even a cashier at the supermarket. It is still useful though if you work in a zoo and have to draw a square on the side of a hippopotamus.

Pythagoras, take my word for it, was believed to have a golden thigh. Which must have constricted his speed when he took part in the relay race. On the positive side though, he did not need to win a gold medal since he already had enough gold to weigh him down.

He believed in a strict diet and in particular had an aversion to beans. Hitherto, he noticed that his followers stood upwind from him at meetings; so he stopped eating beans and advised his followers to do the same. His hatred of flava beans stems from the belief that every time one farts they lose a bit of their soul. Which explains perhaps where he kept his soul.

This caused his eventual death when one day his enemies chased after him. He ran as quickly as he could and eventually reached a field where beans were being grown. Rather than enter the field and escape his enemies, he stood his ground and was killed.

Proving the point that it is not always wise to stand on your principles. And so it came to pass that within seconds of standing still by a field of beans, Pythagoras himself became a has-bean.

Pythagoras also believed in re-incarnation. This has nothing to do about people coming back to life as a tin of condensed milk made from contented cows. He believed that when we die we come back in the body of someone or something else, like a dog, a cat or even a tree.

If you have been naughty in this life you would come back as the worst thing of all ... a woman!

This is just a short history lesson about the Ancient Greeks. You can check the accuracy thereof in a book which I am writing on the subject. I'm hardly going to lie to myself, am I?

22 comments:

  1. I was only aware of 3 of the items on our list...I think I failed the exam.

    Regarding torches, running, nakedness and theorems...
    They all seem potentially dangerous.

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    1. Running naked with torches is true, Ryan. Also Pythagoras' views on beans and re-incarnation.

      God bless.

      Delete
  2. I chuckled and groaned. I have bean reading your blog for over a month and learn something new every time. I'm thinking I'll file it under bean tossed aside.

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    1. Don't toss my blog aside, Bill. It's good to read and there's plenty of "real" stuff there to learn from. I've learnt a lot from reading my blog.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  3. Chuckling throughout! You know don't you, I'll not be able to watch any more Olympic games without remembering this post. :)

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    1. The thing is, Mevely, 96% of what I say is true.

      Athens games were in the nude - men only. No married women allowed as spectators.

      Sparta games allowed men and women to compete nude.

      The story of the god stealing fire was a true Greek belief; hence the relay race.

      Pythagoras had an aversion to beans. He believed that farting make us lose our souls, and did die because he did not enter a field of beans and his enemies killed him. He believed in re-incarnation as I said, and that bad people returned as women. He was also believed to have a gold thigh.

      See ... I tell the truth, sometimes, not often, maybe, perhaps, every now and then, who knows?

      Keep smiling my friend. God bless.

      Delete
  4. Lots of interesting facts I never knew! :)

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  5. Good stuff there, Victor. You should go into being a political cable TV news person. Many people wouldn't recognize truths, half-truths, almost truths, downright non-truths anyway.

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    1. Politicians by nature always tell the truth, Susan.

      God bless.

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  6. A "has-bean" - what a great pun, Victor! But if I need any help in math in the future, I don't think I'll come calling on you as a tutor - lol!
    By the way, this was all Greek to me.
    Blessings!

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    1. It was Greek to me too when I first read it. Don't worry about maths, Martha. Did you know that 9 out of every 7 people are not good at maths? That's almost half or 49%.

      God bless you always.

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  7. Replies
    1. You're probably right, JoeH. It's odd, but true, in those days they did not see anything wrong in men and women competing in the Olympics naked. I mean ... can you imagine wrestling naked? I need a drink ... do you watch wrestling on TV?

      God bless.

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    2. I used to watch the professionals with my sons, not so much now, but they are skilled, fun and entertaining. A million years ago I did the real wrestling in HS...Terrible sport to participate in.

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    3. Wow ... well done. I did not know you were a wrestler. On TV these days it is all well rehearsed gymnastics the way they jump and fly.

      God bless, JoeH.

      Delete
  8. What’s a Grecian urn? Two bucks! 😺

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    1. Good one, CJ. Two bucks for two butts - and that's what is called turning the other cheek.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  9. You always amaze and amuse, don't you!

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    1. That's my job here, Mimi. I hope I do it well.

      God bless you my friend.

      Delete
  10. An interesting read Victor, thanks.

    All the best Jan

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