Thursday 22 April 2021

Why does it always happen to me?

 

So that's how it happened. We were visiting mom-in-law to celebrate her birthday. It was a lovely Summer's day in August. I did not know what to get her as a present. I thought, seeing we'd all be outside in the garden enjoying a barbecue and no doubt jumping and swimming in her swimming pool in the garden; why not get her something we could all enjoy.
A TRAMPOLINE
 
I bought her a trampoline. My wife did not think it was appropriate for someone her mom's age; but hey ... why not? You are as young as you feel your age; or whatever the saying is.

She had a nice barbecue ready with sausages, burgers and steaks. By the way, as an aside, I once had elephant steak. Have you ever had elephant steak? You'll never forget!

So I set up the trampoline in the garden and the children quickly had a go at bouncing up and down. To her credit, so did mom-in-law. She got out of the swimming pool and decided to try out her new toy which I got her. She is such a short lady. So short that her legs don't reach the ground.

I had to pick her up and lift her onto the trampoline. Once there she started bouncing higher and higher and somersaulting as she did so. She got up so high that her swimming bikini bra got caught up in the branches of the nearby tree. She just hung there like an ornament on a Christmas tree. We did not know what to do. I was concerned in case the bra strap broke and she'd come tumbling down and break the trampoline. 

It reminded of the occasion years ago when I learnt magic and had practised levitation. It was at this very house where she lives. I got her to lie down on her back on the dinner table and magically levitated her. She floated up slowly until she reached the ceiling. Unfortunately, once she reached there I could not get her down again. She remained up there in a lying down position with her nose touching the ceiling. In my panic I forgot the magic word to bring her down again and I was afraid she might suddenly drop with a bump and break the table.
 
This time it was no different. If she fell down from the tree she'd break the trampoline for sure. I did the only obvious thing and moved the trampoline away.
 
My wife got very angry at me shouting at me to get her down. I explained that bra straps these days are made of very strong material and are unlikely to break - polyester I believe! This did not appease my wife.

We got a long step ladder from the garage and I was volunteered against my will and better nature to get up there and get mom-in-law down. It was not a pleasant experience. Going up there and holding on to her legs whilst I tried to untangle her bra from the tree branch. What if I fell? There was no trampoline down there to soften my fall. 
 
Anyway, I got the bra strap off the tree branch. She sat on my shoulders, and I slowly step by step got down to terra-firma.
This is me and father-in-law enjoying bouncing on the trampoline. He did not want to go up the ladder to get his wife down because he was minding the barbecue at the time. No one likes burnt food!

25 comments:

  1. ...those sure are short legs!

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    Replies
    1. Yes they are. If she were a little taller I would have got her down from the tree quicker. It took ages to get her legs to touch the ground again!

      God bless, Tom.

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  2. You DO have the most interesting things happen to you!

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  3. Dearest Victor,
    Oh, this story is so brimming with 'love' and 'caring'...
    Breaking the table or the trampoline speaks volumes!
    You're a badass...
    Hugs,
    Mariette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course I DO care for good quality furniture, Mariette. The table was so old it belonged to Louis XIV's father-in-law. He made it from old firewood. The trampoline I bought was very expensive - $24.99

      It would have been heartbreaking if either were damaged.

      God bless you always.

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  4. I'm surprised the trampoline didn't cause a major accident for you considering all your bad luck. :)

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    Replies
    1. Nope ... I was OK. Before I climbed the ladder to get mom-in-law down I packed the trampoline back into its case in case she fell on it and broke it. Father-in-law and I then bounced on it but far away from the tree. Mind you, he nearly bounced off it and into the barbecue!!!

      God bless, Bill.

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  5. By all means, don't harm the merchandise. I imagine those things are expensive!

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    Replies
    1. $24.99 for a trampoline is very expensive. Especially if she fell on it with her short legs.

      God bless, Mevely.

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  6. Oh, this was a great story, Victor! Hanging by a bra strap instead of a thread . . . Glad you all could enjoy the trampoline after the drama was over.
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. It was such a frightening experience, Martha. I was afraid she might fall and break the trampoline.

      God bless always.

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  7. Sounds like a typical day for you. :)

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    Replies
    1. I was all right - it was her!!!

      God bless, Happyone.

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  8. I enjoyed your story, it took me back several years when I had a go on a garden trampoline! Oh dear! I decided best left to the youngsters :)

    All the best Jan

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    Replies
    1. Trampolines can be dangerous, Jan. You're right; they should be left for youngsters.

      God bless.

      Delete
  9. Your Father-in-Law sounds like the smart one, keeping out of it!

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    Replies
    1. Yes he is smart. He was a University professor. He taught graffiti.

      God bless, Mimi.

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  10. I don't even like trampoline stories. I got on one when I was in my 50's. It was three years before I could raise my arms above my head, shoulders ruined. That makes it tough when you are a builder. A very true story of an old man trying to act young. LOL
    Enjoyed your tale though. Hope you weren't sore afterwards. LOL
    Be safe
    Sherry & jack

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    Replies
    1. I'm so sorry to hear about your trampoline accident, Jack. They are dangerous contraptions, I must say. I thought it would be fun for mom-in-law for her 78th birthday.

      God bless.

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    2. It was good of you to be so gentlemanly and get your mom-in-law out of the tree. Cute story. Thanks and blessings.

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    3. I was worried in case the branch broke and damaged the tree.

      God bless, Nells.

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