Friday 7 May 2021

Catalogue of disasters

 

Well it all started some years ago when a man from a pet charity came knocking at our door. Can't remember the name of the charity, but he asked me if I would like to sponsor a cat.

I asked him, "What will it do?"

He did not understand, so I explained, "you want me to sponsor a cat, will it run the marathon? Go on a diet and lose weight? Climb a mountain range? Eat broccoli for a year? What will it do?"

He said that it doesn't work like that. This sponsoring method is that I pay a given sum every month and the charity looks after the cat.

"What's in it for me?" I asked, "I seem to be out of pocket in this transaction!"

He said it's a charitable gift, tax deductible, I would get photos of the cat every now and then and a progress report how he is doing. I thought it was a waste of money. I might as well buy a cat. So they sold me a black cat called Snowy.

Unfortunately he was difficult to handle so we exchanged him for a white cat called Rover. Sadly, on a snowy winter he got run over by a snow plough. Perhaps we should have kept the black cat called Snowy instead.

So the charity gave us another cat. A ginger one called Albatross. He was very clever for a feline.

I lived in London at the time. In a tiny apartment.One day my boss said I had to go and work in Glasgow for three months. It was an urgent project and I had to fly there that very evening. There was no one to take care of my Albatross for that length of time so I decided to take it with me. 

There was no time to make any arrangements so I looked on the internet and there's an organisation that can transport animals from one place to another for a fee. They took my cat and said they'll deliver him to me in two days' time.

Two days later, in Glasgow, they delivered a Golden Labrador dog called Pussycat.  

"What the **** is that?" I asked the delivery man who could not put such a big dog through my letter box.

He looked at his delivery note and read, "A ginger cat called Albatross!"

"So?" I asked, "do you see a mistake here perhaps?"

He looked at the dog and said, "he's a bit big for a cat!"

"Of course he's big, he is not a cat," I said holding back my temper, "he is a Golden Labrador, not a damn cat!"

"Do you not want him?" he replied, "he is bigger than a cat, and very friendly. Saves me having to return him to the depot. Besides, this delivery note was in the cage he was in. It says ginger cat named Albatross. So he's definitely yours, look the address is correct as well!"

To cut a long story short, as you have guessed, someone at the depot had mistakenly put the wrong delivery notes on the cages. We got down to his delivery van. It was full of cages with rabbits, hamsters, guinea pigs, parrots, snakes, tortoises and other creatures due for delivery. And, you've guessed it again, all the delivery notes were on the wrong cages. The snake was labelled a parrot, the parrot was labelled a hamster and so on.

We found my ginger cat called Albatross. His delivery note said tortoise called Speedy to be delivered to a totally different address to mine.

I convinced the delivery man to give me my cat in exchange for the Labrador called Pussycat.

21 comments:

  1. ...Golden Labrador named Pussycat?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's right, Tom. I wonder why it's owner called him that.

      God bless.

      Delete
  2. What a mix up! Loved your animated photos here, too, Victor.
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. These are very clever cats. The white cat was called Rover, and the ginger one Albatross.

      God bless, Martha.

      Delete
  3. It wasn't until I went back and re-read your post that I realized the title tied in so well. A 'cat'alogue, indeed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's right Kathy. If I were on my own it would have been a monologue.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  4. That massage looks mighty tempting. All the same, I'd have rather kept the Golden Lab.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Golden Labrador did not do massage; but I understand he was a good cook.

      God bless, Mevely.

      Delete
  5. What a mix up, you're lucky they only dealt with pets and not people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They wanted to give me a lift back to London; but I chose public transport instead.

      God bless, Bill.

      Delete
  6. What a mess that turned out to be! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. You shoulda took the snake, or turtle. I hope it works out next time. I might believe one graphic..... however....
    From over here
    Sherry & jack

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was a nice snake, called Rope. The turtle was called Swimmer.

      God bless, Jack and Sherry.

      Delete
  8. Dearest Victor,
    That really was a true DISASTER!
    Glad you got your cat back...
    Hugs,
    Mariette

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'd have kept the Lab, they are wonderful dogs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was very ... very ... tempted, JoeH. We've had Labradors in the past. Wonderful kind dogs.

      God bless.

      Delete
  10. As much as i love dogs, i don't have one because it takes so much time to walk them. Keep the cat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Teach your dogs to use the treadmill.

      God bless, Mimi.

      Delete

I PRAY FOR ALL WHO COMMENT HERE.

God bless you.