Friday 14 May 2021

Why did it happen to me?

 

WARNING
IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED
DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER

It happened this way ... let me first explain that in the UK, in many public places like cinemas, pubs, restaurants and the like, they have machines in the gents' bathrooms which sell condoms. Why in such places in particular? I don't know. Perhaps people go to the movies or for a nice meal and drink afterwards and get ideas ...

Anyway, I was at the gents and I noticed that the button on such a machine was sticking out, denoting that someone had put in some money and not got his purchased product. Now, normally I would ignore such a casual observation and left well alone. If it was a machine selling chocolates, or soft drinks, I would not bother to do anything about it. But somehow, the devil had other ideas in mind.

I was tempted to press the button. Nothing happened. It went in ... then out again. I pressed it once more. Nothing happened. I pressed it harder two or three times. 

A voice behind me said, "Is it not working, Sir?"

I jumped out of my skin. It was an attendant that came to clean the place every so often. I did not know what to say. I am a Catholic after all, and we're not allowed to use such things. We rely on playing chess, or backgammon or Monopoly. Sometimes Scrabble.

I just stammered.

He pulled out a key from his pocket, opened the machine and asked, "which one were you intending to purchase, Sir?"

"Eh ... hmmm ... ehm ..." I said incoherently. I mean ... I did not know what kind, size, flavour or type to choose. I did not know there were so many choices. That's the problem with modern life ... too many choices. Why can't we have one size fits all like in olden times? No choice apart from buy it or don't!

 I pointed at the machine.

He pulled out a packet and said, "It's a popular choice, Sir!" and gave it to me.

I thanked him and ran out of the place.

Now the problem is ... do I confess to Father Frederic that I got a packet of condoms without paying for it? What if he asks me what I intended to do with it? 

I am not sure which is the bigger sin - using it or not paying for it.

26 comments:

  1. ...what is the saying? Curiosity kills the cat?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know ... I know ...

      God bless, Tom.

      Delete
    2. After reading the article (and subsequently picking myself up from rolling on the floor) and then peruse these comments Tom has the best response yet...

      Maybe you just shouldn't go around pushing buttons... literally and figuratively.

      God bless you

      Delete
    3. So nice to see you visiting here Steve. Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed my humour. Please call again soon and often. And invite others here too.

      God bless always.

      Delete
  2. How embarrassing, Victor! How do you manage to get yourself in such predicaments, I'll never know.
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. It's not my fault, it's the vending machine. The button was sticking out.

      God bless you, Martha.

      Delete
  3. You could always leave the packet in a place where someone who needed 'protection' could pick it up.

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  4. How funny! I'd have jumped out of my skin!
    How about, you surreptitiously drop it in the collection plate? The Church will know best what to do.

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  5. WHAAAAAT ???? Drop it in the collection plate in a Catholic church? Are you trying to get me into trouble, Mevely?

    God bless always.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Tell him that you found it on a pew inside the church. Let the priest take care of it, I bet that will be the end of the issue. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would be adding lying to the list of wrong-doings.

      Keep smiling, Bill. God bless.

      Delete
  7. I wouldn't mention it at all! :)

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  8. Dearest Victor,
    Haha, it is worth the laugh but nothing more than that; let it be!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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  9. I see no confession to make here. You didn’t open the machine; the attendant opened it and handed the merchandise to you. I see an overwhelming case of curiosity to be the blame. Being curious is not a sin!! Relax, throw the thing in the garbage and forget about it!! Good laugh here. Blessings.

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    Replies
    1. Good advice, Nells. I am so glad you enjoyed this story. It's great to see you visiting here. Thanx.

      God bless.

      Delete
  10. We had some laughs at the predicament and the comments. Loved Meverly's LOL DO NOT use it as a ballon at the next event in the garden! Just sayin'.
    Sherry and jack (jack commenting! being safe!)

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    Replies
    1. I am so pleased you enjoyed this story so much Jack and Sherry. It is good to laugh. Mevely has a great sense of humour.

      God bless you always.

      Delete
  11. Perhaps best not to mention it at all :)

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
  12. Agreeing with Nells. You did not ask an attendant to pop up and give you anything, throw them away.

    If your conscience still bothers you, anonymously mail the money to the business and tell them you took a packet without paying and felt guilty, and here's the money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Throw away - YES. Pay for it - Definitely NO. My conscience is not that generous, Mimi.

      God bless you.

      Delete

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