Friday 10 December 2021

I'm thinking ... I'm thinking ...

 

Nearly fell off the tree because I was thinking of something else instead of thinking of what I was doing. I needed to prune the tree; cut off some branches which were getting too close to the house. I got up the ladder, then climbed on a branch, sat down and started sawing it off the tree. Luckily I realised in time that if I continued sawing I'd be going down with no parachute!

Funny thing thinking. You can't switch it off.

For example, have you ever wondered why we have percentages? What use are they? The Romans first thought of percentages. Probably because they realised we have ten fingers. They gathered their soldiers in groups of ten. Then every ten groups made one hundred. The officer in charge of 100 soldiers was called a centurion. Hence the word cent. The number ten was written like an X. So ten soldiers would be entered in the payroll book as XXXXXXXXXX. And the paymaster would pay=up because he thought the centurion was sending him kisses.

I had a good idea when up on that tree. There are so many perfume and after-shave adverts on TV now that we are nearing Christmas. So I thought of new fragrances for men - macho ones. For example after-shave that smells of pizza, or garlic. For the English market you could have after-shave smelling of fish and chips. I phoned one of the major after-shave manufacturers and they hung up the phone on me.

You know how we change the clocks backwards and forwards twice a year. Apparently it is done to annoy people.

I wondered. Assuming the clocks are turned back at midnight. Over here they are changed at 2:00am for some reason. I find it annoying having to stay awake until 2:00am to change the clocks.

Anyway, assuming they are changed one hour back at 2:00am ...  And you have twins born together. One just before the time to change the clock, (1:55am), and the other one half an hour later when the clocks have been turned back an hour (1:25am). Which baby was born first?

The one born at 1:55am or the one born half an hour later which is now 1:25am? Which one is older?

I nearly fell off the tree thinking about this one. Luckily it was in the afternoon so it did not really matter at what time I fell.

Oh ... and something else comes to mind. I'm sure we have all had reason to complain to big organisations about something or other. You know, like bad service we received from them, undue delays in delivering something, or whatever.

It always annoys me when afterwards I receive an e-mail asking me "how was it for you"?

We note you have had reason to file a complaint with us. We try our best to give a good service to our customers. Please let us know about your experience in making your complaint. Was it easy to complete the form on-line? Did you make use of the "chat" facility with one of our helpful assistants? And so on ... ... ...

Look idiots ... I made the complaint because I ordered a packet of sausages and you delivered a full scale replica of Michelangelo's statue of David.

We were out at the time, and when we got home we found the statue in our front garden and a note asking us to sign for safe delivery in the letter box.

The statue is so big we could not get it in the house; not that we want it in the house. It is hardly a substitute for a packet of sausages. People have complained that it lowers the tone of the street. I explained that I ordered a packet of sausages and they said they would not have minded a packet of sausages on the front lawn; but not a nude man standing casually and unashamed.

I complained on your website and you ask me how was the experience of making the complaint. Get rid of the damn statue and let me have my sausages for breakfast!

I'm still waiting ... and still thinking about what to do with the statue.


 

31 comments:

  1. Funny how statues change over time...😂 David looks different somehow....

    "You know how we change the clocks backwards and forwards twice a year. Apparently it is done to annoy people."

    So true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The reason that David looks like that is because he ate all my sausages.

      God bless, Sandi.

      Delete
  2. ...thinking seems to have gone out of fashion.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I do love how your mind works, Victor - never a dull moment!
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I seem to be always thinking of something or other. Can't switch it off sometimes. It was terrible at work at senior management meetings. I got bored of all their business talk and made up jokes in my head instead.

      God bless, Martha.

      Delete
  4. Oh you're mind is working overtime today, Victor!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's true, Linda. My head is spinning - just finished editing my latest book due out in January and available on AMAZON.

      God bless.

      Delete
  5. That's a lot of thinking. Thinking is a good thing and so are sausages.

    The statue made me laugh.

    Thank you for joining the Feline Friday Blog Hop.

    Have a purrfect Feline Friday and weekend. ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad you enjoyed my post today, Sandee. Thank you so much for your visit here.

      God bless always.

      Delete

  6. Always a good visit, BUT here we have a terrible signal today. We are living the PRESENT, that is for sure... gotta comment when the signal shows up.
    Sherry & jack.
    From NC Sherry & jack fighting for a signal...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hope you manage to get a signal soon. I once had similar trouble. My e-mails would not get through. Turned out my chair was on the internet cable and all the e-mails were piling up inside the cable. As soon as I lifted the chair all e-mails got through to my readers.

      God bless Jack and Sherry.

      Delete
  7. Dearest Victor,
    Yeah, sawing off a branch you're sitting on is dangerous...
    Haha, wrong deliveries can be oh so annoying.
    David got oh so obese over the years!
    Michelangelo might not even recognize him.
    Hugs,
    Mariette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I realised just in time I was cutting the branch I was sitting on.

      David is following the modern trend and eating too many pizzas and fast foods. Including my sausages.

      God bless you, Mariette.

      Delete
  8. So far, I've been fortunate my 'thinker' doesn't go off until I'm safely in bed. Oooooh, those follow-up messages are so annoying. I don't make a habit of lodging written complaints, but yes. In response to something that REALLY angered me, I received a nice-but-moronic note from the company, thanking me for my business and inviting me to return again soon. (Ya, when H*** freezes over.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, Mevely; instead of thanking clients and sending them follow-up questionnaires, they'd be better if they provided a good service to start with. Then there'd be fewer complaints.

      God bless.

      Delete
  9. Maybe your the last of the great thinkers, no one seems to be doing it these days. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me? A great thinker? No ... let me think about that for a bit!

      God bless, Bill.

      Delete
  10. Too bad the after-shave manufacturers didn't like your ideas. I personally would love to find a man smelling of pizza and garlic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure it would sell; but the manufacturers did not think so. I also suggested after-shave smelling of engine oil or sweat after a workout at the gym.

      God bless, Kathy.

      Delete
  11. Donate the statue to a museum and get your life back!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OK ... donate means give for free ... how about my sausages? Who will buy me some new sausages?

      God bless, Mimi.

      Delete
  12. We'll take it? No. I wonder if it would be placed next to the in-shape David.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll give it to whoever replaces my missing sausages.

      God bless you, Susan.

      Delete
  13. I don't recall Michelangelo's David being so chubby, perhaps he ate the packet of sausages.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I'm sure he did. I want compensation.

      God bless, River.

      Delete
  14. A man that smelled of pizza. mmmm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All sorts of possibilities for new after-shave smells.

      God bless, Liz.

      Delete

I PRAY FOR ALL WHO COMMENT HERE.

God bless you.