Door-To-Door

Did you know one of my first jobs when I was young was as a door-to-door salesman? I fancied myself as a good talker and took up the challenge to be a salesman able to sell just anything.

The marketing agency for which I worked linked me with a door manufacturer and my first job was a door-to-door salesman selling doors.

I had three doors strapped on my back to show potential clients the different qualities available; and I also carried two suitcases. One was full of locks and handles for clients to choose, and the other case was full of hinges of different sizes and materials.

I remember once I knocked at a door and a very tall man opened it and said: “Yes? What do you want?”

“Good morning Sir,” I said as I was trained by our chief salesman to say, “I am here to open doors to great opportunities!”

I know, it’s a corny opening line, but it was part of our slogan and it had to be said every time we met a new customer.

Anyway, I said my line to the astonished man standing there then as I stooped down to place the two suitcases I was carrying on the ground, I bent forward a little, and the doors on my back hit him hard on the forehead.

He had a small cut on his head and it started bleeding a little.

"Do you have any Band-Aid and bandage dressing?" I asked him.

"Do you need some too?" he replied holding a handkerchief to his head, "where did you hurt yourself?"

"Not for me ... for you ..." I said. "I’m a trained first-aider you know, as well as being a door salesman. Anyway ... it looks like your injury has stopped bleeding now, and I'm glad you didn't damage my doors."

He grunted and said nothing.

I then unstrapped the three doors off my back and proceeded to explain how well made they were. One was made of oak, another of mahogany, and the third was cheap plastic in case the clients couldn't afford the other two.

"It's the de-lux economy version ..." I said trying to encourage a sale.

He explained that he already had a front door which suited him quite nicely, thank you.

On another occasion I was selling in a very posh area of town. To be honest, I had no chance of selling a door there. The houses were so big and luxurious that I wouldn’t mind guessing that their front doors cost more than the house where I was living at the time. But I was assigned that area by the chief salesman and as an extra incentive he doubled the commission I would make if I sold any doors there.

I rang the bell at one of these luxurious houses and it was opened by a young woman totally naked.

“Yes?” she whispered softly standing there with a smile on her face.

For a moment or so I forgot our opening line, “I am here to open doors to great opportunities!”

I just mumbled, “Do you want a door?”

She smiled and said, “Not today, thank you!”

Before I could say anything more, the strap holding the doors to my back broke and the three doors I was carrying crashed to the ground with a big bang. A large dog inside the house began to bark ferociously. I left the doors there and ran away.

I phoned my chief salesman and he instructed me to retrieve the doors or else he would deduct the money from my pay.

I plucked up courage and returned to the house. My doors were no longer there. I summoned every ounce of courage and rang the bell again.

This time it was opened by a big man, also totally naked.

I explained the situation about the doors and my chief salesman and I must admit I was surprised at how understanding he was.

I guess I am the only salesman to buy back his products from a client who never paid for them in the first place.

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