Doing my bit

 

There's so much talk these days about saving the environment, helping the planet, reducing our carbon footprint, plastic waste, global warming, climate change and similar slogans that mean very little to most people.

We did not have all this when we were young. The planet seemed able to look after itself without our interference. 

The other day I was in the library standing by the Natural History section reading a book. A man approached me and said, "Do you realise that whilst you've been standing here they have pulled down 25 square miles of rain forest?"

So I moved somewhere else. I don't want to be blamed for the deforestation of any forest. 

I sat at a table reading. The man next to me was reading a book on World Population. Apparently, there's over 8 billion of us. He was reading a chapter on births and deaths. He told me, "Do you know, every time I breath in and out a person dies." I suggested he uses a better mouthwash.

In my own minuscule way, I am doing my bit to save the planet.

I have now decided to wash only half of my car at a time. Some weeks I wash the left side, other weeks the right side of the car. I plan beforehand where I'll be parking my car and whether people on the side-walk will see the left or right side of the vehicle. I'm saving water, soap, and ultimately the planet.

I've also decided to stop adding ice or water in my whisky. I drink it neat saving more water.

I often look at people from on top of my spectacles to save wearing out the lenses.

I used to walk home following the route the bus would take from town in order to save money. Now I follow the route the taxi would have taken and save even more money.

When people ask me for help or favours I usually make an excuse and ignore them thus saving the energy it would take in doing what they want or need. My wife is particularly upset about this; but I ignore her for the sake of the planet.

So you see, all this saving the planet and the environment talk is good as far as I'm concerned because I can get away from doing a lot of chores. Like painting the fence and gate - I said let's save some paint and do the job in a year or so. Like mowing the lawn - let's save electricity and not use the lawnmower that often; how about doing it next month. Like visiting the in-laws - let's save some gas and do it next year.

If you put your mind to it there's a lot of jobs you can postpone and procrastinate on in the name of saving the planet! What do you think?