Know your planet

 

OUR PLANET EARTH.

Earth is the third planet from the Sun and is the largest of the terrestrial planets. The Earth is the only planet in our solar system not to be named after a Greek or Roman deity. The Earth is the only known planet to support life - not necessarily intelligent life.

The Earth’s rotation is gradually slowing. This deceleration is happening almost imperceptibly, at approximately 17 milliseconds per hundred years. At this rate the Earth will one day stop totally and one half will be always daylight whilst the other half will be dark with all night parties 24/7. 

Earth has a powerful magnetic field. This phenomenon is caused by the nickel-iron core of the planet, coupled with its rapid rotation. This field protects the Earth from the effects of solar wind. Be careful if you take minerals tablets in your diet, especially iron, as you may get stuck to the Earth and unable to move. This happens a lot to people with a magnetic personality.

70% of the Earth’s surface is covered in water. When astronauts first went into the space, they looked back at the Earth with human eyes for the first time, and called our home the Blue Planet. And it’s no surprise. 70% of our planet is covered with oceans. So there is no need to add water or ice to your whisky. A large percentage of whisky and other drinks is water anyway.

Earth doesn’t take 24 hours to rotate on its axis. It’s actually 23 hours, 56 minutes and 4 seconds. This is the amount of time it takes for the Earth to completely rotate around its axis; astronomers call this a sidereal day. This is because the Earth is putting on weight and gets heavier each year and is slowing down. Very much like an overweight person takes longer to turn round when pirouetting.  

A year on Earth isn’t 365 days. It’s actually 365.2564 days. It’s this extra .2564 days that creates the need for leap years. That’s why we tack on an extra day in February every 4 years. On average, people born on 29 February don't necessarily live longer than the rest of us. 

The Earth is not actually round in shape. In fact, it is geoid. This simply means that the rounded shape has a slight bulge towards the equator. So what causes this geoid shape? This happens solely because the rotation of the Earth which causes the bulge around the equator. If, like me, you don't care about this; just ignore it and read on.

Only 3% water of the earth is fresh. The other 97% is salted. Of that 3%, over 2% is frozen in ice sheets and glaciers. Means less than 1% fresh water is found in lakes, rivers and underground. Save water - drink whisky neat!

The Earth tilts at roughly 66 degrees. So do I after a few whiskies.

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The Earth's surface is 70% water. That water is un-carbonated. Therefore, the Earth is flat.

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What's the fastest liquid on earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.

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Two aliens are flying near earth

The first one says, "The dominant life form here have developed satellite based nuclear weapons."
The second one says, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first one says, "I don't think so, they have it aimed at themselves."

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Aliens visit Earth. They come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English.

Obviously, all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it's the Pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?"
 

"You mean JC?", responds the alien. "Yeah, we know Him! He's the greatest, isn't He? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok".

Surprised, the Pope follows up with: "He visits every year?! It's been over two millennia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!"
 

 The alien sees that the Pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize. "Maybe He likes our chocolate better than yours?"
 

 The Pope retorts, "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?"
 

The alien says "Yea, when He first visited our planet we gave Him a huge box of chocolates! Why? What did you guys do?"