Wednesday 17 October 2018

For The Love Of Cars

To me, a car is a mode of transport from one place to another. Nothing more.

Apparently, this is not so for everyone.

A senior citizen bought a brand new super fast convertible car and drove it out of the salesroom.

Taking off down the highway, he floored it to 120mph; enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

Amazing!” he thought as he flew down the freeway, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 140mph, then 150 then 160.

Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the vehicle, looked at his watch and said,

“Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old man, looked very seriously at the policeman and replied,

"Years ago my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir", said the policeman.

And there's more ... Another man walks into the police station to report his wife missing.

Husband: I've lost my wife. She went shopping yesterday and has not returned home since.

Sergeant: What is her height?

Husband: I really never noticed. Can't tell for sure ... about that high!

Sergeant: Build?

Husband: Not slim, not very fat. Ordinary.

Sergeant: Colour of eyes?

Husband: Ehm ... don't know. Dark ...

Sergeant: Colour of hair.

Husband: She changes it so often ... ehm ... can't remember.

Sergeant: What was she wearing?

Husband: Dress ... or was it a suit ... I really don't know.

Sergeant: Did she go in a car?

Husband: Yes.

Sergeant: What kind of car was it?

Husband: Black Audi A8 with super charged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power with an eight speed triptonic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door ...

At this point the husband starts crying uncontrollably.

Sergeant: Don't worry Sir ... we'll find your car.


  1. MEN!!! That's all I have to say, Victor!!

    1. Well ... SOME me ... I don't particularly like cars. They are an excuse for people to ask me to give them a lift. Often, I have to go really out of my way to give people a lift. This would not happen if I was on a bike. Can you imagine ... "Excuse me, can you give me a lift home on your bicycle please? I'll sit on the handle bars. Or on your shoulders if you wish!"

      God bless.

  2. Bahahahaha! Thanks for the chuckles, Victor.

    1. So glad you enjoyed my humour, Mevely.

      God bless you.

  3. Some funny stories there, Victor. Thanks for the laughs. :)

  4. Thanks for the laughs, Victor! Good ones!

  5. These were great, Victor! I always look forward to the laughs you give us all.
    Your book, Take Care of My Sheep, arrived today. Can't wait to read it!

    1. So glad I made you smile, Martha.

      I know you like Fr Ignatius stories; so I hope this new book will live up to your expectations. They deal with real life stories which happened to priests I know.

      Please let me know what you think.

      God bless you. And thanx once more.



God bless you.