Saturday 20 October 2018

The Fox And Moon

It was a lovely summer’s day as I sat on the park bench enjoying the take-away meal I just bought from my favorite burger bar.

I’d just finished my large portion of French fries and I put the empty packet on the bench to dispose of it later. To stop it blowing away I put my cell-phone and keys in the empty fries container to weigh it down, and proceeded to enjoy my burger and cheese bun.

As quick as a flash, a fox came out of the bushes, no doubt attracted by the smell of food, grabbed the empty fries container in its mouth and ran away.

I ran after it frantically and it eventually dropped my cell-phone, but unfortunately it hid in the bushes before I could retrieve my keys. I searched everywhere to no avail. The bushes in that area were quite thick and almost impenetrable.

I walked back to my car intent on phoning for help when I found a park ranger standing next to my vehicle writing in her notepad.

I immediately recognized the lady in question.

I’d seen her several times in church talking in the car park after Mass with friends, but I never spoke with her.

She’s a short woman in her mid-forties well built all over and a little rotund. She must have a great sense of humor apparently since she’s always laughing loudly outside church with a contagious laugh which makes you want to join in the fun even though you’re not part of the conversation.

Today of course it was different. Dressed in her tight ranger’s uniform she was as severe as befits a person in authority.

“You have parked beyond the stipulated time,” she said sternly, “and I must issue you with a fine to be paid within a week!”

I tried to explain what had just happened and why I was late driving away from the parking space.

“You’re from our church …” she declared, “I recognize your face. Show me where it happened.”

We walked back to the bushes and I showed her where the fox had run away.

“We have had sightings of a vixen and a young family around here,” she said, “the mother is probably trying to feed her cubs!”

She handed me her jacket and continued, “I’ll go in there to look for your keys. I wouldn’t want you to disturb them if they’re in there!”

She got down on her hands and knees and like a dog she slowly and carefully made her way forward into the thick bushes until all I could see was the sole of her shoes.

Eventually she said “I got them …” and started reversing back slowly, on all fours, just as she got in.

Suddenly, there was a loud ripping sound and her very tight trousers tore from top to bottom at the back revealing very minute skimpy underwear and leaving nothing to the imagination.

I stood there frozen, holding her jacket.

To my amazement and total confusion she suddenly burst out in uncontrollable fits of laughter. She stayed there on all fours for a few seconds laughing herself out of breath despite her obvious expose.

She then continued reversing ever so slowly, presumably to avoid disturbing any foxes which would no doubt be as confused as myself; and then standing up and still giggling she said, “You can stop ogling my derriere now and help cover up my modesty!”

She wrapped her jacket round her waist to cover her rear and said, “I must have given you quite an eye-full there. How are you going to explain that to Father Frederic in Confession?”

Before I had time to reply, she continued, “You’ll have to drive me home to get changed.”

I did drive her home and we became great friends with her and her husband.

20 comments:

  1. How did you meet, can you imagine these conversations in the future, lol.

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    1. That's right, Christine.

      "How did you two meet?"

      "Oh ... she mooned me to attract my attention! In plain day light too."

      God bless.

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    2. Or ...

      "A fox mugged me and she mooned me as a result !!!"

      (Can our readers suggest other responses?)

      God bless.

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    3. Or ... (song themes)

      Talking to the moon (Bruno Mars)
      Moon is up (Rolling Stones)
      Bark at the moon (Ozzy Osbourne) Do foxes bark?
      New Moon on Monday (Duran Duran) It was Monday
      Mr Moonlight (The Beatles)
      Moonlight Drive (The Doors) I drove her home
      Moonshadow (Cat Stevens)
      Harvest Moon (Neil Young) It was Autumn
      Bad Moon Rising (Creedence Clearwater Revival)

      Any more?

      God bless.

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    4. How about Bad Moon Rising by Creedence Clearwater Revival? Or Shame on the Moon by Bob Seger?

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    5. Good point, Kathy. There are so many songs we could pick for this episode in my life.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  2. What a great sport, that ranger! Mostly, I like her tender heart for the well-being of the fox family.

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    Replies
    1. It was an experience, Mevely ... ... ... for me !!!

      God bless.

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  3. What an interesting story on how to start a friendship, a personal experience. :)

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    Replies
    1. For sure, Bill. A very personal experience.

      God bless.

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  4. Funny story, love your sense of humor.

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    1. Hello Joeh,

      Welcome to our Blog. Nice to see you. Please visit us again soon.

      God bless.

      Delete
  5. This story is both funny and sweet, Victor. Loved it!
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. I am so glad you enjoyed this episode of my life, Martha.

      I should have added that the lady in question is Mrs River; and the episode title should have been "Moon River".

      God bless you.

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  6. I was right there seeing it all happen, Victor! Your descriptions are so great that it puts the reader (me!) right there!! Glad she cared for the fox and babies!

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    1. Well, if you were there, Terri, why did you not hold her coat and save me all the embarrassment.

      God bless you, my friend.

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  7. You never know how or where you will meet your next friend.
    Great Story. : )

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    Replies
    1. Indeed, Happyone. Maybe I should just stay at home.

      God bless.

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  8. Your sweet story put me over the moon, Victor :}

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    Replies
    1. I am so pleased you liked this story, Chris. Thank you so much for visiting.

      God bless.

      Delete

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