Saturday 7 December 2019

Office Christmas Party

If there is one thing I used to hate when I worked for a large organisation was the annual office Christmas Party.

It worked something like this.

All senior managers, there were about six of us, had to donate a sum of money which was used to pay for the Christmas Party. All junior staff attended free.

Now, being related to Ebenezer Scrooge, I used to resent this. Why should I pay a sum of money which I would rather spend on my pet hamster, to buy some food and drink for the junior staff for the "good work" they have done throughout the year? They have been paid handsomely for their work by the company anyway. What more thanks do they need?

But the Head of Department had decreed it will be so and being a coward more than a scrooge I usually grudgingly paid up.

The buying of food and drinks was organised by the juniors who decorated the large meeting room and waited for everyone to attend.

On the day in question, at about 5:00pm, we would all sheepishly gather in the meeting room. A junior would offer everyone a drink of wine or beer, and there was a table with little bits of food one would pick and pretend to enjoy. Personally, I would prefer to be home with my family watching football on TV with a glass of Guinness in hand; but the coward in me won the day.

At the party we would all gather in little groups. The juniors at one end talking to each other and the senior managers standing around like a spare cigar in a non-smokers convention.

I daren't approach a group of juniors. What would I say as small talk? After all, I was working with them not an hour ago. I have nothing in common with them apart from work. This is a Christmas Party after all. Saying something like, "are you ready for Christmas?" or "have you done all your shopping yet?" seems so limp and false because in all honestly I don't care the slightest about their festivities arrangements.

I stand there by myself sipping this vinegar masquerading for fine wine until I am approached by another senior manager who is also at a loss for something to do. He bores me to death with the financial report he is preparing for some project or other. I daren't tell him to his face that I care more for my hamster than his financial report or my staff's Christmas plans. But I nod politely and make some inane comment safe in the knowledge that at least I don't have to circulate and pretend to be enjoying myself.

At some point someone taps his wine glass with his knife and asks for silence. The room quietens down and the Head of Department makes a speech thanking everyone for their hard work during the year, wishing us a Merry Christmas, and hoping for better things from all of us the following year.

On one occasion, I remember a certain Head of Department, totally unannounced, had invited his wife to the office Christmas Party. She was the only "outsider" in the room. She stood beside him as he made his speech and then someone, who had been forewarned, came forward and presented her a bouquet of flowers. He then called his senior managers one by one and introduced us to her.

What could I do? Leave the room? I am a coward after all, remember! I came forward with the other toads when called, shook her hand and wished her a Merry Christmas.

And that was Christmas in years gone by at our office.

20 comments:

  1. Oh Victor! That party sounds truly dreadful. "A spare cigar standing around at a non-smokers convention." LOLOLOL!
    Years ago I was fortunate that the TV station where I worked pulled out all the stops for their employees and spouses -- formal wear, ice sculptures, etc. But like so many things, the station was acquired by a media giant and our 'parties' were reduced to paper cups and false cheer in the newsroom.

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    1. You said it, Mevely. "False cheer". That's what I did not like about those Christmas parties. We were compelled to attend and our absences were noted. It was just a formality with very little good cheer.

      God bless you this Advent and always.

      Delete
  2. You poor soul.
    What torment you had to accept as a part of being higher management.
    But you at least had your family to go home to and your bottle of Guinness 🎄🎅❄

    Just browsing today ☃

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    1. It's really great to see you here again, Jan. Thanx. I hope you are keeping well.

      I think what I did not like is the falseness of it all. It was more an obligation rather than a Christmas party. Especially the year when the big boss invited his wife so she could meet all the minions.

      God bless you, Jan.

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  3. Basically the only thoughts I can drum up at these is "Get me outta here". Carrying a plastered smile and false joy is exhausting. Now I am a really nice person, friendly and helpful. But these events erase my honest niceness and leaving was wise.

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    1. Get me out is exactly my feeling too, Susan. But I really could not. I am a coward and valued my job greatly.

      God bless.

      Delete
  4. Boring indeed. Should have had someone call you, then you can leave saying it was an emergency. The hamster after all is at home waiting for his treats. :)

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    1. Good point, Bill. I should have trained the hamster to make a phone call. Why did I not think of that?

      God bless you always.

      Delete
  5. SOunds much like many parties I remember. We had catered events and the bartenders, to save time, poured very large drinks. I had trouble finding my way home until I realized those drinks were double-doubles.

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    1. That's a thought, JoeH. In Olden Days a bottle of wine used to serve 8 glasses. Now it serves 4. Have the bottles got smaller or the glasses bigger.

      I remember when the opticians gave me glasses everything looked bigger than it really is. I should loan them to my wife sometime!

      God bless.

      Delete
  6. Nothing merry about that Christmas, Victor. Oh, how I hated those "fake" gatherings, too, when I had to go. Glad you no longer have to endure those!
    Blessings!

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    1. That's the sad thing, Martha; the fact that they were fake. No one really enjoyed them but they had to attend because it was the tradition.

      God bless you always, Martha, and your family.

      Delete
  7. Happy to say I've never had to go to one!!

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  8. Where Sweetie used to work, the office paid for the party, but everyone was expected to contribute money to the boss' gift. He kept a list of who contributed, and based your end of the year bonus on whether or not you contributed. The party was boring, he said, and the food was always stuff he didn't like.

    That's why i'm glad i work for myself as a cleaner and don't have to have a holiday party!

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    1. The staff contributed to the boss' gift? That is really bad, Mimi.

      God bless you and yours.

      Delete
  9. The dreaded office Christmas party... So thankful I have never had to endure one:) A glass of Guinness sounds so much better!

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    1. You're right, Chris. It was dreaded and dreadful, and so false too. But it was a big organisation and you had to follow traditions if you were to remain in the job successfully.

      God bless.

      Delete

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