Tuesday 31 December 2019

Ten New Year Resolutions For you to try

Happy New Year to all our readers.

Wishing you
Happiness and Joy
Hope and Good Health

Here are 10 New Year Resolutions you might wish to try

If you want to lose weight stop weighing yourself. The scales are always wrong anyway.

Stop throwing dead squirrels and frogs into your neighbour's garden. It is not friendly.

Do not take too many selfie-photos. You may crash the car whilst driving at the same time.

Do not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow has already happened in Australia.

Do not judge someone else unless you have walked a mile or more in his shoes; then you'll be accused of stealing his shoes.

Do not help old ladies to cross the road. Usually, old ladies hopping from foot to foot at the edge of the sidewalk want to go home to the bathroom, not cross the road.

Do not leave for tomorrow what you can do the day after that or never. Delegate it to someone else to do.

Do not buy perfume or after-shave lotion that smells worse than your body odour.

Do not waste time worrying whether the glass is half-full or half-empty; as long as it does not leave a wet stain on your table. A coaster on the bottom will avoid such a problem. That's the glass bottom; not your bottom. Unless you want to start a new fashion in these crazy times.

Try to smile and laugh more often. A feather duster in your underpants will increase your chances of doing so.
WHERE'S MY FEATHER DUSTER GONE?

GOD BLESS 

AN APPEAL TO ALL OUR READERS:

If you enjoy visiting here and smile at the humourous articles, or reflect at the Christian ones which I publish from time to time; why not do someone else a favour as part of your New Year's resolution? Please invite someone else to visit us here and share or contribute to our conversation. 

All of you, my loyal readers, are precious to me. Whether you comment in my posts or whether you visit and leave without saying a word. Whoever you are, I am praying for you.

Thank you. God bless.

30 comments:

  1. 😂

    Happy New Year, Victor!

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  2. Thank YOU, Victor, for the many laughs you gave me in 2019! Some were 'out-loud, guffaws'; some brought 'chuckles' that kept repeating throughout the day (like hiccups); and some just put a smile on my face throughout my whole day, as comical mental pictures would come to mind as I navigated through the day! May you and your Loved Ones, have a very 'Happy & Prosperous New Year' in 2020!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a kind thing to say Suzanne. Thank you. It pleases me if only one person gets a smile from what I write. We all need cheering up every now and then. Feather duster or not.

      A Blessed New Year to you and yours. God bless.

      Delete
  3. Happy New Year to you, too. Thanks to you I have my motto for the year...Do not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow has already happened in Australia. Inspired!

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    Replies
    1. Australians always like to be first with the New Year celebrations, Kathy. Let us celebrate with them.

      Best wishes always. God bless.

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  4. These are great, Victor! Weighing (all) myself has, I fear, become an obsession.
    Let's see. If memory serves, you're 6 hours ahead of us....right about time to lift my wineglass your direction. Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I find weighing myself a waste of time. Did you know you would weigh less if you hold on to something, like a chair, whilst standing on the scales. Sometimes I weigh only three ponds.

      Also, did you know that if you have a bird in a cage and you weigh both, and at the time the cage is on the scale, the bird flies off its perch for a split second. His weight will not register on the scale, even though he is in the cage.

      And ... if you do the same thing under water, the bird would drown and die. This proves that it is not true that we weigh less in water.

      As it is getting near midnight, let me drink to your good health, and happiness, and the hope that your scales do not work in 2020.

      God bless you and yours, Mevely.

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  5. These all have merit especially the one about Australia. Hadn't thought about that one before. All were grin worthy and thanks for the chuckles. Wish I had found you earlier.
    Happy New Year.

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    Replies
    1. It is good that we met each other on the internet, Patti. Let us drink to that and to happiness, good health and feather dusters to one and all. Please invite your friends to share in feather duster giggles.

      Happy New Year. God bless.

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  6. Happy New Year, Victor, and thanks for all the suggestions for resolutions! Yes, I resolve to laugh more in the coming year, and your posts will definitely inspire me to do so.
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. Laughter is good for us, Martha. As the great philosopher Rene Descartes should have said: "I laugh, therefore I am!"

      But then, he never read my Blog.

      A blessed New Year to you and yours, Martha. God bless.

      Delete
  7. That's quite a list! : )
    Happy New Year to you.
    Thanks for all the laughs and Father Ignatius stories this past year.
    And thanks too for the prayers.
    Much happiness and good health in the new year!!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Happyone for your good wishes. I am so glad you enjoyed my posts here. May God bless you and your family always. A Happy & Healthy New Year to you all.

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  8. Thank you for bringing 2019 to an end with a few laughs. Have a wonderfully blessed 2020.

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    Replies
    1. Wishing you the greatest of happiness and good health in 2020. God bless you always, Liberty Belle.

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  9. Replies
    1. Thanx Susan. A blessed New Year to you and yours.

      God bless.

      Delete
  10. Oh, Victor! You are so hilarious! Thank you for making me laugh on this New Year's Eve! God bless you, my friend. Happy New Year's!

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    1. Wishing you and your family great happiness and good health, Cheryl. May 2020 be blessed for you all.

      God bless.

      Delete
  11. Happy New year 🎉
    I love your New Year Resolutions...they made me laugh!
    My hubby heard me and came into the room and asked me what was I laughing about.
    I told him that your resolutions tickled my funny bone and then he started laughing and said "no more of that!"
    I have two comedians to begin my 2020 with...life is good:)

    God's Blessings Victor ✝

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is so good to hear from you and to hear your laughter, Jan. Yes, it is so good to laugh.

      Wishing you a very happy and healthy New Year filled with joy and laughter.

      God bless you and your family always.

      Delete
  12. Finally someone suggests resolutions that i can keep, Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let us keep laughing together in 2020 and beyond, Mimi.

      May God bless you and your family always. Happy and healthy New Year to you all.

      Delete
  13. Happy new year, Victor! May your heart continue to overflow with joy and wisdom ... you have touched so many hearts along the way.

    Bless you.

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    Replies
    1. Wishing you the best of happiness and good health to you and your family.

      God bless you always, Linda.

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  14. My new year’s resolution is to get better at pretending to know the words to Auld Lang Syne.

    Truth be told, I didn't come up with that. I stole it. So my New Year's resolution is to not steal any more jokes. :)

    Happy New Year to you and your readers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing wrong in passing on a funny joke, Manny. That's what jokes are for. A lawyer once told me you cannot be sued for stealing a joke; but if you steal a lot of jokes from the same person that's plagiarism.

      I hate plagiarism. Imagine a world with no plagiarism. I wonder if you can. You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us. And then the world will have no plagiarism at all.

      Happy New Year. God bless.

      Delete
  15. Happy New Year Wishes to you and yours Victor.

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With best wishes of happiness, hope and good health.

      God bless you and yours, Jan.

      Delete

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