Saturday 27 March 2021

Dance ... Dance ...

 


I must confess I’ve always wanted to be a professional dancer. Just like Fred Astaire or any other dancers you see in the movies and on TV.

The problem is I have big feet. Enormous feet!

When I get on the dance floor there is no room for anyone else because of my big feet. They take over the whole dance area.

And when I dance I tread on other peoples’ feet. If it’s a slow dance with the lights dimmed right down people trip on my feet and fall all over the place. I’ve had to put little flashing yellow lights on my shoes and a bleeping sound so that people can see my feet in the dark.

People say that the lights add to the atmosphere on the dance floor but the bleeping sound interferes with the music.

Someone suggested I take up line dancing. In line dancing people stand next to each other and mostly move sideways; so there’s no danger of stepping on anyone’s toes.

I tried line dancing. My big feet moved so slowly sideways that other dancers tripped over them as they moved left or right.

I tried ballet dancing. When I stood on tip-toe my head hit the ceiling and brought down a few tiles.

At a wedding once I danced the Hokey Cokey (Hokey Pokey). You know the one?

You put your left leg in, your left leg out,
In out in out, you shake it all about,
You do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around
That’s what it’s all about.

It was quite a sight seeing everyone else fall all over the floor whenever I stuck my feet out. At one point my big foot came out so suddenly it hit Aunt Matilda in the face sending her spectacles flying in the air. Everyone stopped to search for her glasses and I inadvertently kicked a few of them to the floor as I continued dancing not realizing what had happened.

The birdie song wasn’t a success either … nor was the conga line dance when they all follow each other across the floor.

So regrettably, Fred Astaire and all other famous dancers will get no competition from me. I’ll just sit on the side lines tapping my feet to the music … and watch everyone else bounce about as I shake the floor boards with my big feet.

25 comments:

  1. ...dancing has never been my thing!

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  2. WE never learned to dance, my feet aren't that big, but I trip over them.
    Thanks for the smiles, we are expecting a HOT day here in Florida, probably won't try dancing....
    Sherry & jack

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    1. It's great to see you here Sherry and Jack. Please call again soon and often.

      Over here in the UK it is still very cold. Sunny today, but windy and cold.

      God bless always.

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  3. Mrs. C worked at a ballroom dance studio run by a former world champion (Before Covid). Watching the pros dance around the floor it seems as they are floating, or skating on ice they are so smooth. Mrs. C is also pretty good, but I do not dance. I do like watching though.

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    1. Yes, watching them dance makes one envious. Why is it some people are good and I am not?

      God bless you and yours, JoeH.

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  4. Funny to picture the dancing scenes you paint here. I don't dare do any of the coordinated types of dancing you mention, whether line dancing or ballet.

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    1. It's great to see you here Terra. Thanx. Call again often and soon.

      God bless you always.

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  5. I don't dance and I think it wouldn't be a great idea to start again. :)

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  6. Hilarious! Have you considered a second career in the Big Top? (*smile*) Since I no longer try, I don't worry about what people think of my dancing.

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    1. Great idea, Mevely. Ballet in the Big Top. My head would never reach the ceiling.

      God bless always my friend.

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  7. Dearest Victor,
    Haha, no doubt you exaggerate just a teensy weensy bit about your feets' size but hilarious.
    I've always loved to dance and most of all, fance fast!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    1. I am not very co-ordinated, Mariette. When I dance people laugh ... and keep away.

      God bless you and yours.

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  8. And I thought having two left feet was the problem when someone can't dance. Who'd a thunk it it?
    Blessings, Victor!

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    1. Even with two proper feet, I still would have been bad at dancing, Martha. It's a question of co-ordination; moving in time with the music. I can't understand why people bother with dancing.

      God bless.

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  9. I can picture it all and you had me laughing!!! :)

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    1. Good you laughed. My audience cried at the time. Aunt Matilda had a black eye and broken glasses.

      God bless, Happyone.

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  10. Perhaps if you tried "Dancing with wolves" your big feet wouldn't get in the way...just saying. HaHa.

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    1. Now that's something I never tried, Wanda.

      God bless always.

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  11. Most of the teen boys i know have big feet, too. Maybe that's why some of them are too shy to dance at the proms.

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    1. Good point, Mimi. Besides, dancing is pointless. Football is better.

      God bless you.

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  12. I've always enjoyed dancing, I've always enjoyed singing, but it is debatable if I do them well! LOL!
    Of course grand-daughter thinks I'm good (Bless her) and she likes showing me new dance moves, I've done my best to copy them and haven't fallen over yet, but there's always a first time :)

    All the best Jan

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    1. You're so lucky, Jan. With me it is a question of co-ordination. I could never do the moves like those people in Strictly Come Dancing. Dancing is difficult!!!

      God bless you and your family.

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