Friday 19 April 2024

And then God created experts


Did you know that the very first consultant on earth was a snake? And see how that went!

And now, we have many consultants and experts on every subject you can imagine.

There are political and economic experts telling you why everything is so expensive and why life is so difficult.

You have health experts telling you why this and that is affecting your this and that and there is no real cure for it anyway.

Environmental experts are blooming everywhere telling us that we are harming the planet by our propensity to break wind and we should eat less meat but more beans and pulses instead to save the planet.

All kinds and manner of experts are everywhere. Although I'm curious to find out who appointed them as experts and where they got their expertise from.

These days there are marital and relationships experts as well as parenting experts. Did our parents or grand-parents need any of these considering the hardships and troubles they went through in the past one hundred years?

We now also have dog training experts. Hygiene and cleaning experts. Etiquette experts, de-cluttering experts and so on and so forth. How did past generations survive without them? Or without lifestyle experts telling them how to be fashionable and colour-coordinate their furniture with the wall paper?

According to a weather expert if a butterfly somewhere far away flutters its wings then the air turbulence it creates will move a little more air, and that little air will in turn move more air, and more and more that eventually, several weeks later, a hurricane will develop somewhere else far away. 

Armed with this information I now kill every butterfly in sight. Imagine how many hurricanes and tsunamis I have prevented single-handedly.

Now with the Internet, you can easily find an expert to advise you on everything and anything. If you have a pimple on your nose just Google it and an expert on the subject will tell you all about it; and how to share on social media and be famous in the process. 

I've discovered all sorts of experts on social media informing me on so many things I did not know about or even knew existed. Like for instance how to make your own hair restorer lotion using chicken poo. I am all cock-a-hoop about it and I'm now a sex symbol for women with no sense of smell.

Another on-line expert suggested a mixture of raw eggs and flour to remove unwanted hair. I rubbed it on my beard and now I have birds feeding there.

I read an article recently written by an expert on how to weld metal plates together to make your own ship. It was quite riveting I tell you.

A fashion expert on TV was deriding the sartorial habit of wearing trousers right up to one's nipples and holding them there with a belt and braces. I always thought it made me look handsome!

A friend of mine, a medic, has specialised and is now a nostril expert. The left one to be precise. Ask him anything about the left nostril and he's your man! Ask about the right nostril and he's totally useless.

Are you an expert in any field or subject? Do you know someone who is? Tell us more here.

The world needs experts.


  1. ...and all experts aren't created equal.

    1. Yes, some irritate me more than others.

      God bless, Tom.

  2. You're so right, Victor ... all chiefs and few Indians. Self-esteem is a good thing, I suppose, but to call oneself an 'Expert'? A while back I actually had to look up the term, 'Influencer' ... 'Digital Creator', too. I'm astounded at their number of followers/sheep. Or, am I simply envious?

    1. No Mevely, you are not envious. I too wonder about the many titles people on TV have these days. They often interview "Influencers" "Bloggers" "Commenters". What do these words mean? Any one of us could claim these titles for ourselves.

      God bless always.

  3. There are experts for everything but they don't seem to know much. :)

    1. We need an expert to tell us about experts. God bless, Happyone.

  4. thecontemplativecat here. There are many experts in all fields. Who has it right? Is there one answer? Are there too many experts? Hmmm.

    1. Experts should remain in fields.

      God bless, Susan.

  5. There are too many narcissistic people who declare themselves to be experts in one area or another. My take? They are only experts on one thing - their egos.
    In your comment to Susan, I was reminded of a "dad" joke my father liked and told often: Did you hear about the local farmer? He was outstanding in his field!
    I have an idea who the real expert in life, Victor. God!
    Blessings always!

    1. So true, Martha. So many egos competing with each other for attention.

      I like that joke about the farmer in the field. I might use it too.

      God bless, Martha.

  6. ... and apparently the new experts are called influencers!!!
    Where did that come from?

    Wishing you a happy weekend.

    All the best Jan

    1. Yes indeed, Jan. We now have on TV influencers and also commentators, whatever that is.

      Best wishes always my friend. God bless.

  7. Good post my friend, a little snide. But I will go along with you. I know a few people who are EXPERTS in Everythingl
    I am close, but no cigar. LOL Thanks my friend. Keep praying, I know God is Good.,,,,,,,, and.... You know...

  8. What the world really needs more experts in is kindness, compassion and respect.



God bless you.