An acquaintance of mine has recently died. To call him a friend would be a bit of an exaggeration. He lived a few houses down the road. We used to be nodding acquaintances. That is, whenever we met in the street, we nodded at each other and said, "Good morning, Good evening, Hello, Good bye," and such like words out of politeness.
He died a few weeks ago and I did not know anything about it. I had not seen him for some time and had assumed that he moved to another town or was perhaps on holiday.
The first I heard of his demise was when I received a letter from a local firm of solicitors.
I went to their offices as invited and sat there solemnly whilst an elderly dust covered lawyer read this deceased acquaintance's last will and testament.
Anyway, this deceased ex-neighbour from down the road, with no doubt a pickled brain, did not have much to his name whilst alive, but what he had, he left it all to me.
Namely: His prized collection of Madagascar hissing cockroaches.
At first, I did not know what a Madagascar hissing cockroach was. The aged solicitor explained and said that the collection consisted of some thirty or so wonderful specimens.
In my naivety, I thought that I could take possession of these carcasses and then donate them to the local science museum, or some other entomological association. But when they arrived in their glass tank I became the proud owner of thirty-seven live hissing revolting creatures all running around their glass enclosure wondering who I am.
I will not describe the scene in our household when these uninvited guests arrived. Suffice it to say that relationships have been strained to breaking point. The delivery man was not interested in my dilemma. All he wanted was my signature and then he fled never to be seen again.
The tank was deposited in our entrance hall, on a table, where it still rests to this day. With their arrival was a note on how and when to feed them. Apparently, they eat fresh vegetables and dry dog food pellets.
And that's where I need your advice my friends. How can I get rid of thirty-seven live, uninvited, unwanted, unwelcome, bequeathed Madagascar hissing cockroaches?
Do you want any?
What a revolting gift from the Beyond!
ReplyDeleteIs, there, perhaps a demand in the animal kingdom for free-range cockroaches? (Run, Forest, run!)
I have heard of people leaving their pet dogs and cats to other relatives and friends; but never cockroaches. These ones don't have a tail to wag like a dog or purr like a cat. All they do is hiss when I tell them a joke. No sense of humour either!
DeleteGod bless you, Mevely. Keep smiling.
...but they are God's creatures.
ReplyDeleteThank you for loving them. God has told me in prayer to send them to you. Please contact me with your address details.
DeleteGod bless, Tom.
I'll most definitely pass on this generous offer, Victor. We live in the woods, as you know, and we have plenty of outdoor roaches that like to sneak indoors when they think no one is looking. Especially in the summer! Maybe, you just let them go in the great outdoors? Blessings!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea ... are you sure you do not want them, Martha? They can be outdoors and meet their relatives in your woods. What fun they will all have together.
DeleteKeep smiling and God bless.
I for sure do not want any but I sure thank you for the offer!! Sounds like to me that the forest might be calling their names..
ReplyDeleteI went to the forest early today before the trees got there. It was just a plain piece of land. I'll go a little later tomorrow and perhaps release the cockroaches there.
DeleteGod bless, Shug.
No thanks, Victor. You should take them on tour so others cn enjoy seeing them.
ReplyDeleteWhat a brilliant idea, Bill. Take them on tour. "Come and see Victor and his hissing cockroaches!" It has a great ring to it as an advertising slogan. Maybe I could teach them to hiss some pop songs from the 60s and 70s - mostly Beatles songs of course.
DeleteGod bless always.
What a super strange situation with those cockroaches. It is a real pickle. Maybe a local pet shop or even a reptile rescue group could take them off your hands?
ReplyDeleteThe cockroaches are not pickled, Melody. They are live ones.
DeleteGod bless you.
Oh my gosh - this has to be a joke!
ReplyDeleteIt's no joke, Sandie. I also forgot to mention that the man also left me a live fully-grown rhinoceros in his Will. It's in the garage right now - the rhino, not the Will.
DeleteGod bless.
Not a gift I would want, as I am sure you don't, either. Have to advertised for others who have such pets to see if anyone who likes them would want them?
ReplyDeleteI have seen them in videos and they are quite large and do hiss...apparently only if they feel threatened. I personally am not interested but if there is an SPCA I would call them first. They will ensure no harm comes to them and can perhaps tell you of a place or person that would be glad to have them.
ReplyDeleteTake them outside and give them their freedom.
ReplyDeleteI just saw your comment about a live Rhino, Victor. These animals can be very dangerous. It is a wild animal. Again, the SPCA can tell you what you can do, but these animals are wild and not pets. There may be an animal sanctuary that could come and safely relocate the animal.
ReplyDeleteI don't think releasing the roaches outside is the solution, in my opinion. They are used to being in captivity and when the weather gets cold 🥶 it won't be good for them.
ReplyDelete