Do NOT read this

 

Do NOT read this

If you are easily offended. 

One day, God summoned Adam for an important task he must complete.
God Said, "Adam, I want you to do something for me."
Adam said, "Gladly Lord, what do you want me to do?"
God said, "Go down into that valley."
Adam said, "What's a valley?"
God explained it to him...
Then God said, "Cross the river."
Adam said, "What's a river?"
God explained that to him...
Then God said, "Go over to the hill."
Adam said, "What's a hill?"
So, God explained to Adam what a hill was...
God told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave."
Adam said, "What's a cave?"
God explained what a cave was...
Then God said, "In the cave you will find a Woman."
Adam said, "What's a woman?"
So God explained that to him too...
God continued, "I want you to reproduce."
Adam said, "Well, gosh, how do I do that?"
God muttered away to himself, rather annoyed. Then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam as well...
So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman. Then, after about thirty minutes, Adam was back...
God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?"
Adam then asked... "What's a headache?"

OK ladies, I did warn you not to read if easily offended. Here's an alternative tale.   

My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She's at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died.

Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.