Memories and Nostalgia

 

Sitting here writing this Blog reminded me of my school days. Oh the memories ... Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. In the old days nostalgia was thinking lovingly about the past. These days it is thinking about the cell-phone you had three months ago.  

Anyway, back to my school days. I remembered our English teacher Percy Veer. That's what we called him because of his patience with us. He once told me, "Your grammar stinks!" I told my dad about it. He asked, "Which grandma? Because my Mom smells of lavender!" 

We also had an English Literature teacher. He was called William after his namesake William Shatner from Star Trek. His name was William Mozart.

Our music teacher had an appropriate name too; Johann Sebastian Shakespeare. He had an authentic antique violin made by Rembrandt. He brought it to school and it sounded awful. Just like a pregnant cat vomiting an elephant. He also claimed to have a painting by Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Stradivarius could not paint; and Rembrandt was very bad at making violins.

We had a teacher called Athena who taught us Greek Mythology. I was not good at this subject. It was my Achilles Heel. All I remember is a poem we made as kids:  

There once was a goddess called Aphrodite

Who wore a pink see-through nightie

And the closer you looked

It was clear you were hooked

By her curves which were certainly all-righty.

I hated sports at school. There was a boy called Harry Bean who ran very fast and won all the races. We called him Haricot Bean, or Runner Bean. 

I also hated woodwork. My teacher said I was only good at turning wood into saw dust.

I did not excel at anything. I had failure written all over me from that early age. The other kids did it with their Biro pens. 

One teacher predicted that I'll go down in history. Also math, geography, science and artwork. He was wrong. I did not attend the artwork exam because I was not well that day. My absence increased the overall class average score by 30%.

I always wanted to be on stage performing something. Our drama teacher said that when I sing I disturb wildlife for miles around. He suggested I just mime the words. Once I missed rehearsals and everyone thought the piano had been tuned. 

All in all, not much of a success from early on in my life. True, nostalgia is not always a fond thing.

Now I am thinking of KFC.