Three steps to Peace

 

There are so many people who cannot achieve spiritual or personal peace because they feel that they have done something wrong, often a long time ago, and they cannot let go of the guilt. Let's see if these three steps can help:

FORGIVE: If you feel that you have been wronged then forgive the other person. If the person is no longer in contact then forgive them in your heart - truly forgive them. If they are dead then let the matter rest. They are now face-to-face with God and know their part, as well as yours, in the situation that happened. Just forgive them in your heart and let go.

SEEK FORGIVENESS: If the person is still around, and you are in anyway at fault, seek forgiveness. Whether it is given or not; at least seek forgiveness from the one you have hurt. And also seek forgiveness from God. Provided your repentance is genuine; He will forgive you.

FORGIVE YOURSELF: Once you sought, and received, forgiveness from God; then forgive yourself. You'd be surprised how many people hold on to the guilt and feel that they have not been forgiven and they cannot forgive themselves. To behave this way is wrong, and it is a sin in the eyes of God. By not forgiving yourself you are in effect implying that your standard of forgiveness is higher than that of God. Or that perhaps He was wrong to have forgiven you. How do you think He feels about that? If God has forgiven you, then you MUST forgive yourself and move on.

Forgive the fools

 

Today, in church, just after Communion, I found myself thinking about all those people who did me wrong in life. I don't know why I thought of them. Somehow, they all came to mind.

There have been several people who have hurt me over the years. All individual incidents who have come and gone, the people involved are no longer in my life, and I've survived most of the wrongdoings done to me. There are times when after the wrong has been done and has stopped, you still have to live with the after-effects of the wrong for the rest of your life. But I'm doing well.

In my thoughts I wondered, were all these people evil? Bad people who set out to do wrong? Or were they misguided? Influenced by some other evil, perhaps the devil? Or were they just plain stupid? Idiots following their beliefs and self-important opinions to the detriment of someone else - me.

I concluded that in most cases they were not really evil. But I had to forgive them all the same, even though I realise now they were fools.

When Christ hung there on the Cross, He said, "Forgive them because they don't know what they are doing." Not because they are evil.

The Jewish leaders and their followers thought they were defending the Law. The Law given to them by Abraham, Moses and the prophets. They were defending their positions as leaders. They feared a Roman response in their occupied land.

Yet here they had amongst them the very Son of God and they could not see it. They were blinded by their own beliefs and prejudices. Perhaps aided and abetted by the devil as he did to Judas.

They crucified the Son of God.

Was it pure evil? Misguided judgement? Or a bit of both?

"Forgive them, they don't know what they are doing."

Forgive me Lord

 

I wonder ... how many of us ask God for forgiveness when we pray? When we are alone in prayer, we most likely ask for favours, we request healing for others or oursleves, we may even thank God every now and then for what we have and for answered prayers ... but how often do we ask for forgiveness?

You know how it is ... we all sin. We lose our temper with someone else, we get impatient, we half-listen when someone is talking and possibly interfering with our TV viewing ... there are so many sins we commit almost naturally and don't even stop to think about them. Perhaps we don't even consider them as sins ... Just part of human life. Everyone loses their temper or not pay attention every so often to someone else. So what? Is it a sin worth bothering God about?

Let's consider this last thought.

Is it a sin worth bothering God about?

The fact remains that we did something wrong, and the other person may have forgiveness us for losing our temper or whatever. But it is still a sin in the eyes of God. It is a sin against His Commandment to love one another. So ... is it a sin worth confessing in prayer?

Oh ... and another thing. Do we ever seek forgiveness from God for worrying? 

Yes I know ... we all worry about this and that and about certain people and future events and so on. It's only natural. Everyone does it.

But is it a sin?

Does worry betray a certain lack of confidence, a certain lack of faith in God? When we worry, are we in fact saying that we don't believe God will answer our prayers, our fears and our confusions? Are we saying that He is perhaps not capable of doing so? Are we even doubting His own existence?

Because in essence that's what worry is. The fear of something beyond God's capability or willingness to help. Hence, worry is a sin against God.

Let's think about that a bit more ... ... ...

Should I retaliate first?

 

It is often tempting when someone has wronged us to return the favour in kind. We may have been treated cruelly, been slandered and lied about, or taken advantage of, and we wish to get our own back with added interest too.

It's a natural human reaction which we must resist as best we can. 

When the urge is there to retaliate for the treatment we have received we need to stop and ask how would Jesus view our behaviour.

Sometimes our anger may be because someone we love and care for has been hurt by whoever has wronged us. Or our sense of injustice is more painful because those who have wronged us profess to be Christians. How could they? They pretend to be Christians and they behave like that!

In such circumstances we should consider how and why the disagreement or wrongdoing started. 

Could we possibly have provoked the attack by something we did or said? Unwittingly perhaps. Is the other person carrying a heavy Cross in their own life and something has triggered the attack on us? 

One possible solution is to lift up the situation, and the people involved, to Christ. Pray for those who hurt us. We cannot possibly hate someone we pray for.

Somehow, by lifting the situation up to God in prayer we open a channel for Him to bring healing in us as well as in them.

Now I'll admit it is not easy to turn immediately to prayer the moment someone has wronged us. But then ... if it was easy, and if we all did it, then we would have peace in the world.

Forgiving

 

Forgive Forget Reconcile - NONSENSE

Matthew 5:43-48

Jesus said to the disciples, "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven ..."

A more modern interpretation of the passage above is that we should forgive, forget, and reconcile with (love) our enemies.

Easier said than done.

God knows that, and He understands when, often, we cannot achieve this commandment to the letter.

Let us analyse it a little further.

Forgiveness is an act, a positive act, not a feeling. We cannot say I feel I have forgiven him, therefore I have. We must decide to forgive, whether or not the other person has sought forgiveness or even cares whether we have forgiven him or not. We decide, deep in our hearts, that we no longer bear any ill-will towards that person. No longer do we want revenge, punishment or retribution of any kind. We have totally forgiven them once and for all - and ... here is the difficult bit: WE CAN PROVE IT TO GOD SHOULD HE ASK US TO.

So ... we have dealt with the first bit of the equation. We have truly forgiven.

The second bit is forgetting. This is almost impossible. God created us with a memory and short of hypnotism or some accident or action that leads to loss of memory, we will remember.

The deeper the hurt done to us, the more we will remember. The slightest thing will trigger that memory. A song perhaps, a picture, visiting a place, something someone says ... and we will remember once again the hurt done to us. We may resent the hurt done to us. We may become bitter and perhaps angry. This is natural and we should not reproach ourselves about it. God knows about these feelings because He created us this way - with a memory that brings back to life the bad times in our lives.

Let us use these bad memories to forgive once again. Let them be a trigger to decide once more to forgive the one who hurt us. Let them be an opportunity to pray for that person and hand them over to God. To ask Him to take care of them and to get them to know Him better.

The final bit of the equation is to "love" or reconcile with our enemy. The one who hurt us.

As an ideal state, this is worth pursuing. But let us not fool ourselves. There are times when this is impossible, or indeed it is imperative that we do not reconcile with the one who has hurt us.

Let me explain.

As human beings one of our basic instincts is to protect ourselves, and our loved ones, from danger and from evil. Again ... God created us this way.

There are times when to reconcile with the one who hurt us puts us, or our loved ones, back into a situation of danger.

Let's look at an example scenario:

Imagine a case of divorce. Is it really possible that the couple reconcile again to the extent that they live together again as husband and wife as before ... as if nothing had happened? To live together without the slightest doubt, suspicion, fear or feelings that led to the divorce in the first place?

Let us raise the stakes a little.

What if the actions of one of the spouses had created havoc in their life as well as yours? What if that action repeated itself over and over again with not the slightest intent or effort to improve the situation. Is it still possible for you to reconcile totally knowing full well that the chances are there will be a repeat of that action, putting you and yours in danger? Would it be the prudent thing for you to do? To reconcile totally and keep your fingers crossed and hope against hope?

Let us raise the stakes some more.

What if the actions of your spouse had hurt badly someone you love? Your parents for instance, or your offspring? What if to reconcile and return back to your spouse would mean hurting these people once again; or indeed put them in some danger? Would you still reconcile totally?

I think I made my point.

To forgive that individual who hurt us is a decision that we can make; and we can forgive them again and again every time the memories come back to haunt us. God asks no more than that.

But to reconcile totally and go back to a situation as it was before is not always possible.

God does not ask for that. He does not ask us to put ourselves and others in danger for the sake of "loving our enemies".

We can easily love them from a distance. We love them in our hearts in as much as we pray for them and re-affirm again and again in our hearts that we have forgiven them.

Christ did say to His disciples that at times they should leave certain places and shake the dust from their sandals.

He did not say return there again and put yourself in danger of being attacked, arrested or killed.

When some of His followers could no longer accept His teachings when He said, "whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood lives in me, and I live in him"; they got up and left Him. He did not call them back and attempt to explain. He just let them go. He forgave them and let them go.

That is what we are asked to do ... some times ... to those who have hurt us. To forgive them ... again and again ... and let them go.

Sorry

Is saying “Sorry” the hardest word?

As human beings, it is inevitable that we will make mistakes and that unintentionally we will hurt others. So it follows that we should apologise when we err, and that we are forgiven our sins.

Yet, in this modern world of ours we hesitate before we admit our wrong-doings.

We see an apology as a sign of weakness. It would reveal a flaw in our character. Something to be held against us, which may well come to haunt us again in the future.

We feel threatened even, since, in this litigious society we have created, an admission of guilt could easily lead to claims of compensation.

So we go on the defensive. We deny wrong-doings. We refuse to apologise.

And “sorry” truly becomes the hardest word.

How lucky we are that God does not keep a record of our sins, and will never rush to Court for compensation when we hurt Him again and again.

Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, if my brother keeps sinning against me, how many times do I have to forgive him? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” answered Jesus, “but seventy times seven.” Matthew 18: 21-22